What is a snakes favorite place to live ?
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︎ Jun 28 2020
What's the best place to hide if a murderer breaks into your house?
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Where is the safest place to be in an earthquake?
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︎ Jun 16 2020
What did the brewer say to the baker during shelter in place?
At yeast we have each other!
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︎ Jun 25 2020
Police: We need to talk to your son about the fire at your neighbor's place
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︎ Jun 04 2020
I went to my optometry clinic and said "I'm surprised this place isn't out of business yet......
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︎ Jun 05 2020
I saw an interview with Sean Connery about how he used to scuba dive for seafood. He said, "everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,
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︎ Apr 15 2020
The worst place to buy a chess set you ask?
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︎ May 01 2020
I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...
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︎ Apr 22 2020
If The Beauty and the Beast took place in America, "Beauty" would have to be from the South
Because she's a Southern Belle
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︎ May 13 2020
When dad took the family to Florida, we finally got to see the place his boat was docked as a child...
It was good to see dad's berth place.
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︎ Apr 30 2020
Once a year I celebrate getting a sleeping place all to myself.
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︎ Mar 23 2020
the other day I was looking up secret places to work out
thought it would be pretty crappy, but there are a fair amount of hidden gyms
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︎ Apr 30 2020
Have you heard of a place where all the tall people gather to drink ?
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︎ Apr 29 2020
What's a terrorist's favorite place to eat?
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︎ Apr 13 2020
My friend found a sturdy piece of lumber to place within his guitar to improve the vibrations...
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︎ Mar 24 2020
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth."
Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
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︎ Mar 10 2020
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
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︎ Apr 10 2020
Why's a church the worst place to go during a war?
Because of all the pews.
pew, pew, pew pew pew!
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︎ Mar 15 2020
What happened to the frog when it parked in the wrong place?
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︎ Feb 08 2020
What's a cat's favorite place to visit while in the middle East?
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︎ Mar 17 2020
Where is the cleanest place to sit?
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︎ Mar 05 2020
Why is the morgue the best place to work at a hospital?
They give you the coroner office.
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︎ Jan 27 2020
Where is the best place to work if you only have one leg?
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︎ Dec 25 2019
Whereβs the best place to go when youβre broke?
To work
(Courtesy of Dave Ramsey)
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︎ Jan 30 2020
There are two types of gay tourists, the ones who visit Netherland, and the ones who visit Iran. Despite such a difference between these places, they go to these countries for the same reason
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︎ Mar 01 2020
Went to one of those artisan pizza places. The cheese and sauce were alright.
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︎ Feb 15 2020
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think itβs nuts.
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︎ Apr 01 2019
Hey Dad why do you go to that particular place to eat fish and chips?
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︎ Feb 12 2020
Whereβs the best place to pick up chicks?
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︎ Jan 28 2020
Whatβs the best place to learn more about candles?
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︎ Jan 25 2020
best place to find puns
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︎ Nov 07 2019
I started taking the girl I like out to places horses are kept.
I just want a stable relationship.
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︎ Oct 22 2019
I recently moved in with my rich dad to his house on the French country side. Iβm afraid Iβll never be as successful as him and buy my own place.
I guess Iβll always live in my fathers chateau.
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︎ Oct 28 2019
We get to foster a shelter dog for a while to fill the place of our beloved late dog.
We'll just call it a subwoofer.
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︎ Jan 11 2020
Why are graveyards the most popular place to go?
Because people are just dying to get there
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︎ Nov 20 2019
I've figured out the best place to meet new people
It has to be the hospital.
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︎ Dec 23 2019
What's a cockroaches favorite place to vacation?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 06 2020
Even in places where grocery workers are allowed to unionize people who do bagging work have no say on what goes into each new contract.
Baggers can't be choosers after all.
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︎ Dec 01 2019
This one is really bad my family was at the pizza place donatos, my uncle says to my dad βdo you want more donatosβ
My dad says βthe whole restaurant?β I laughed because it was so bad
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︎ Dec 28 2019
During my trip to Madrid I was staying at this small motel when I grew pretty ill. Thankfully the people at the front desk sent the on call doctor over and he was able to fix me up real quick. I told him I didn't expect such a small place to have such a good doctor, to which he told me
Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician
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︎ Oct 08 2019
The priest at our church wanted to do something different with the place where sacrifices are made...
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︎ Dec 05 2019
What is an elephant's favorite place to vacation?
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 23 2019
I put my phone under my pillow last night and went to sleep. When I woke up it was gone and a pound coin was in its place
Damn that Bluetooth Fairy
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︎ Oct 03 2019
Why is a bowling alley the best place to study?
It's so quiet that you can hear a pin drop.
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︎ Oct 28 2019
My friend plays classical music to his pet oysters, which he places stones within the soft tissue of their bivalves...
He makes cultured pearls.
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︎ Dec 01 2019
Why is Dollar Tree the best place to shop for deer?
Because the males are a buck.
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︎ Oct 19 2019
I used to work at a soup place where I'd start every interaction
"Chowder you guys doing today? Miso sorry for the puns, what can I get βphα» you, brother?"
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︎ Oct 11 2019
Whereβs the best place to put a TV?
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︎ Sep 25 2019
Where's the best place in Finland to hold a fart competition?
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 10 2019
Where is the best place to buy chicken broth?
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 17 2019
What do you call it when a bunch of crows accidentally show up to the same place at the same time?
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︎ Sep 19 2019
My wife said she found a nice apartment for us, but there was no place to sit down and eat.
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︎ May 14 2019
Whatβs the most crunk place to go to the bathroom?
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︎ Sep 23 2019
I really want to work at a place that sells mirrors
Itβs something I could always see myself doing
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︎ Jun 19 2019
I was at a meeting, standing, when someone offered me a place to sit. I politely declined and said
"I don't accept charity."
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︎ Aug 31 2019
I just wanted to move this pun to a sacred pun place to be safe from the punpatrol
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︎ Mar 21 2019
βͺI mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a π². Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa. β¬
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 30 2019
My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.
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︎ Aug 23 2019
What's the best place to get information on candles
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︎ Aug 15 2019
Life is about changing perspectives and priorities. Heck, I used to worry if one of my hairs was out of place, but now...
...I don't care if they both are!
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 16 2019
What is the best place to get some good genes?
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︎ Jul 23 2019
Mountains are the best place to get a few laughs.
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︎ Apr 08 2019
What was the name of the smartest killer whale that loved to go to new places?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 04 2019
What is a tornado's favorite place to get a burger?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 30 2019
Where is the best place to avoid a bank robbers bullets
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 27 2019
Where is a cattle herder's favorite place to cook dinner after a long day?
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 14 2019
I took my son to a Japanese place for dinner.
We ordered a beef dish cooked with soy sauce and sugar.
My son took a bite and decided he doesnβt like it. He spit it out and said: βThat tastes terrible! Yuck!β
I said: βYou can even call it terri-yuckyβ
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︎ Aug 10 2019
Have you been to the Chinese place on the corner? It's supposed to...
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︎ Nov 19 2018
Where is the fruit farmerβs favorite place to sleep?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 19 2019
Where is Chris Prattβs favorite place to go at a carnival
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 03 2019
Apparently you can now place an order with your local bakery and have it delivered to you via drone...
Sounds like pie in the sky to me.
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︎ Jun 28 2019
When global warming causes you to see cow skulls in places that used to be green...
you'll know we've reached the cow tipping point.
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︎ Jul 27 2019
Where is the best place to get a gf/bf
Texas they are litteraly diyng of How hot they are (Im sorry for anyone in Texas)
π︎ 2
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︎ May 06 2019
My golf course gave me an award and sign for my own place to park, but people keep taking my spot.
It just doesnβt pay to be the Par King.
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︎ Apr 09 2019
Saunas used to be the place where men talked business.
There were heated discussions.
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︎ Apr 23 2019
Mrs. Claus kicked out Santa and now he doesn't have a place to live
So that makes him a ho ho hobo
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 10 2019
My mother always told me that the best place to mend clothing is in a wash basin
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 05 2019
Best place to self-reflect is
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 16 2019
Where is the most unlikely place to play peek-a-boo?
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︎ May 26 2019
I got kidnapped and taken to Sweden,but it's a pretty nice place
I guess you could say I'm developing Stockholm syndrome.
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︎ Oct 27 2018
Making a list of places I want to see during my tour of Bohemia and Moravia
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︎ Oct 10 2018
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because itβs where all the dicks hang out
π︎ 5
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︎ Apr 05 2019
In most places, the right side is considered the right side to drive on. The ones left consider it to be the left.
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 01 2019
Where is the one place you don't want to see a doctor
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 20 2019
The place to shop in Chisinau. Seriously. ( Chisinau is in Moldova. βMALLdova.....Get it?.......If you have to explain.....)
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 04 2019
I need help! I am co-captain of a team to raise money for cancer. My team needs a name. I need to mix some element of cancer with Alice in Wonderland. I need a pun, and I figured this subreddit is the best place to go. Thanks
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︎ Apr 26 2018
In my opinion, if weβre gonna fight the war on terror, a good place to start would be our countryβs haunted houses.
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︎ Mar 06 2019
What do you call a convenience store in a hard to get to place?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 03 2019
What is the best place to train your legs?
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 14 2019
The safest place to be during an earthquake would beβ¦
β¦in a stationary storeβ¦
π︎ 26
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︎ Mar 13 2020
The instructor in my self defense class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think itβs nuts
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 21 2019
Where is the best place to hide under a Zombie apocalypse?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 30 2019
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