hill areas
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
As we're driving through an industrial area, kid asks, "Why does this place smell terrible?"

Me: It's an olfactory response.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LateralAxes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone is stealing tires off of police cars in my area

The police are working tirelessly to arrest him.

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Hill areas
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/natnat301
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you’d get the well-fortified tower area back.

Guys back then were playing for keeps.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the new employee sew one ball in the groin area of each Elmo doll?

She was told to give them all one test tickle

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corvette-Ronnie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the bouncy castle with a size of 10,000 Sq ft area?

The entry is quite expensive, mostly due to inflation.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
How much space is left in the parking area?

Not a lot

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My real estate agent lied.. he said my house had 1000 carpet area

I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs in there ..

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My school gym has a certain area set aside for people who like to be in the thick of things...

It's amid section.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is

because it's peak comedy

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/languagepotato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
mountains aren’t funny, they’re hill areas πŸ₯Έ
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jojo111693
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My local clothing store has an area set aside to try on clothes that is perfectly placed in the store...

It's a fitting room.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Local barber in the area got arrested for selling drugs.

Blew my mind. I’ve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.

πŸ‘︎ 245
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedCakesYT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Earthquakes are rare in my area...

so I have no fault insurance.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jhuderis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the area around a library?

Know-man's land

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robot-kun
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call mustard native to an area?

Indijonous mustard.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/French_Embassy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What area of mathematics are farm animals proficient?

Cowculus

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainMoist23
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Once I stayed in a crows ridden area...

it was easy to see a murder there daily.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abionic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend and I went fishing. He cast out first and got a bite. So he reeled in a trumpet. Then he cast out in a different area, got a bite and reeled in a clarinet.

After he cast out the third time, I said "maybe you'll reel in a bass soon!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Question: How does the insulin organ maximise surface area?

It has a lot of pan-creases.

Sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunnonauker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the area of a circular piece of dough, where the slice length is "z" and the rise is "A"

Pi(z)(z)(A)

Edit: Volume not area

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hctibasiaixelsyd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I met a drag queen from the Greater Manchester area

He had a Wigan address

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joefife
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend told me that she was worried she was turning into a costal area at the southwestern tip of the Gower Peninsula in south Wales. I said to her...

Don't be Rhossili Bae

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Found this walking in a local area
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superiorgooner
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I swear the pigeons in my area are plotting to overthrow the neighbourhood watch.

It's definitely a coo.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me how hard it is to calculate the area of a circle

I told him it’s easy as pi

πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Edmondontis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about starting a company to provide Wi-Fi in public swimming areas.

I'm going to call it IP in Pools

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
An avalanche has started on Mount Everest that threatens to wipe out 20% of its surrounding area.

This is snow joke.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a9lex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

πŸ‘︎ 369
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign that said "Rest area 25 miles"...

I thought,wow, that's pretty big

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A judge is hearing a case. 'The people V. United Parcel Service' and determines that the trucks area nuisance and a danger to the town. He decides to ban all their trucks from the town and calls his ruling:

'UPS Truck Shun of Justice'

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnexampledSalt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
On a video of a custom 2 Fort map that excludes the middle area (Team Fortress 2)
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islarf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Pool area
πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ‘€︎ u/minecraftman0306
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A truck loaded with thesauruses crashed, spilling its contents over a large area...

Onlookers were shocked, astounded, agape, flabbergasted and taken aback.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Hill areas!
πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flimsy_Classic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
True story. An emu escaped a farm in my area and was running around the suburbs..

Police tried to get it out of that area, but it was rather emuvable...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xJohnnyQuidx
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What a great pool area
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeeyuss
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine's car broke down in a very difficult area in the Middle East.

He's stuck between Iraq and a hard place.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavideoandPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?" /r/Jokes/comments/g6zr2k/…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/austin29684
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you calculate the surface area of a cephalopod?

Using octoPi

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carlitos_segway
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What area of a cornfield yields the most corn?

The Corner.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaynesky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was younger I had surgery in my groin area, I asked my dad what is wrong with my groin area?

There's nothing groin down there.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mash404
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
When the weatherman said there was a tornado in the area I was blown away.
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ailyara
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
As we're driving through an industrial area, kid asks, "Why does this place smell terrible?"

Me: It's an olfactory response.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LateralAxes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
My real estate agent lied to me.. he said that my house had 1000 carpet area

I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs ..

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the area around a Library?

Know man's land.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robot-kun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

πŸ‘︎ 252
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about starting a company to provide Wi-Fi in public swimming areas..

I'm going to call it IP in Pools

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guycelium
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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