A list of puns related to "Square"

So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to βsquare up on the ballβ

She replied βthe ball is round daddyβ (with a straight face) So I tell her βno, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!β

She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says βIβM REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!β Then throws it right back at me.

Proud dad moment.

I poured root beer in a square glass, now I have only beer

My girlfriend is the square root of - 100

She's a perfect 10, but completely imaginary

I poured root beer into a square glass

Now I just have beer

What animal is shaped like a square ?

A squarrel

Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?

Because of his contra band...

I still remember the moment when my math professor told us what the square root of -1 was.

It was unreal.

A square-root

If I poured root beer into a square glass,

would I just have beer?

What do you call 100 penguins in Trafalgar Square?

Lost, theyβre lost.

How did the circle know the square had nothing on him?

Because he said he had him cornered.

What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?

Just beer i guess.

My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.

A solid 10, but also imaginary.

Dad: βSon, your mother and I are thinking about moving to a square island.β

Son: βWow really? Can I come too?β

Dad: βFour shore!β

Square root

Two rich dudes were hanging out in a bar. One said to the other, "Hey, you wanna come to my square island?"

The other responded "Four shore!"

Be there or bean square

Square root? Or cube root?

If I pour root beer into a square glass

Is it just regular beer?

This Square Earth I found at a book store.

When people say "be there or be square"...

It's because if you're not there, you're not around.

The teacher asked if anyone knew the square root of negative one...

So I shouted βIβ

Why was the circular structure built cheaper than the square?

Because they cut corners

What do you call a square missing a side

An incomplete meal

What happens when you put a plant in a square?

It dies.

Why?

**It loses its root**

Whatβs the square root of Orange Julius?

We donβt square roots here, we juice oranges. Get back to work!

I pour my root beer into a square cup.

Now it's just beer.

I really wish I had made a pun about how we celebrate New Years Eve in Times Square.

I really dropped the ball on that one.

My girlfriend is like the square root of -100

A solid 10, complex and negative half the time.

Why is the circle more trustworthy than the square?

Because he doesnβt have an angle

Do you know why the say "be there or be square?"

Because you're not around.

I used to work at a square tyre factory...

It was a real bumpy ride.

An excited square is an erectangle

Why do square dances never seem to finish?

Because they are not well rounded

Whatβs red, square and bad for your teeth?

A really really fast brick

Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? Itβs because the cows werenβt getting a square meal.

how does a square become a cube?

well first, they have to get an edge-ucation

Which state has the most streets per square mile?

It's Rhode Island.

When it comes to learning Geometry, I am ok with triangles, squares, and rectangles.

But when it comes to two unconnected vertices, thatβs where I draw the line.

What happens when two squares get angry with each other?

They square up

I heard SEGA received an offer to collaborate with Square Enix for a new Sonic RPG, but turned them down

The workplace was a No-Fly Zone.

The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.

They really dropped the ball this time.

Square root

Son: Math sucks so much. My teacher wants me to find the square root of I Donβt Give a Crap.

Dad: Easy! Next time, just tell your teacher I Donβt Give Two Shits.

My parents always told me that if I watched too much TV then I would get square eyes?

But wouldn't that just make my vision sharper?

The amount of cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrots divided by the volume of the Mayo.

Thatβs Coleβs Law.

Went to see my doc to get small squares drawn all over me.

It was a check up.

Do you know where the expression, βbe there or be squareβ comes from?

If youβre not there, youβre not around.

Why do people say βbe there or be square?β Probably because you wonβt be βa roundβ

What do you call an aroused square?

An erectangle.

Son: Arenβt the pyramids really just squares?

Me: Yeah, but only up to a point

Square roots

Squares are just quadrilaterals that suffer from a rectangle dysfunction

Square root

I guess we can call the music in a segment of a popular Square Enix game...

Kingdom Hearts 3DM

Teaching a 3 year-old the difference between a circle and square is pointless

Today, my son learned about square roots. I was so shocked that I could only say one word:

"Radical!"

The villagers gathered as the guards dragged the blacksmith through the town square.

One of the villagers turned and asked another, "what happened?"

She told him, "he's been arrested for forgery."

I poured my root beer into a square cup

Now itβs just beer

How did the triangle kill the square?

With a hypote-noose!

What a couple of squares

A couple is walking in St Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve...

They feel some precipitation.

"I think it's raining" says the man.

"No, it's snowing" says the woman.

"Why don't we ask this communist officer?" Asks the man. "He's always right! Excuse me, officer Rudolf, is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely raining" he says, before walking off.

The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

Tried to quickly make a square but got an octogon.

I shouldn't have cut corners.

My wife said βYou canβt change the square-root of a negative.β

She said I couldnβt..... but i can.

What do you call a boombox in a town square?

A public speaker.

Square-dancing is a terribe way to get around.

Square root. reddit.com/r/Showerthoughβ¦

What do you call a colorless flying square?

A plane figure

Square Roots

Neutering an animal makes it infertile. Making its hide into carpet squares makes it fur tile.

I hear you won the award for most pubic louses per square centimeter

Dongrats bro!

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek. Einstein is counting. Pascal runs and hides, but Newton just draws a square and sit down. Einstein opens his eyes and exclaims, "Newton, I've found you!"

Newton replies, "No, you found Newton over a square meter. You've found Pascal!"

Where do squares go on vacation?

Cuba

I'm not impressed with the people who organize the New Year's celebration in Times Square

They always drop the ball.

LPT: Want beer but are too young to buy it? Buy rootbeer and put it in a square glass. The square cancels out the root and all that's left is beer! reddit.com/r/ShittyLifePrβ¦

A dear friend of mine passed away recently. He asked that we spread his cremated ashes in the big fountain in the town square.

He will be mist.

Be there or be square

Well, i'm not around

Be there or be square...

...because you won't be a-round.

Where do square riverbeds get their water from?

Box springs.

I hear there aren't enough bathrooms for the NYE celebration in Time Square.

They really dropped the ball on that one.

The giant Dumbo ad playing at Times Square on new year's eve said "Happy New Year"...

It should have said "Happy New Ear" instead.

Squares i.reddituploads.com/7bde7β¦

The worlds largest bounce house is now touring the U.S.A. At 10,000 square feet, the house is large enough to live in.

The rent is pretty expensive but that's mostly due to inflation.

What do you get when you pour root beer in a square glass?

What do you get when you pour root beer in a square glass?

You get beer

My girlfriend is like the square root of -100

A solid 10, but also imaginary

Be there or be square

Because if you're not there, you're not around.

What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?

Beer

The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.

They really dropped the ball this year.

What do you call 100 penguins in Trafalgar Square?

Lost.

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