Donald Trump should drop the ball in Times Square on New Years Eve

He certainly has plenty of experience

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π€︎ u/DigThisMyBrother
π︎ Dec 31 2020
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I don't know why people expect Time's Square to put on a decent New Year's Eve show.

They're always dropping the ball.

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π€︎ u/Elnateo
π︎ Dec 31 2020
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I put my root beer in a square glass

Now I just have beer

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π€︎ u/icemage27
π︎ Dec 27 2020
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So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to βsquare up on the ballβ

She replied βthe ball is round daddyβ (with a straight face) So I tell her βno, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!β

She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says βIβM REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!β Then throws it right back at me.

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π€︎ u/Itsjorgehernandez
π︎ Jun 23 2020
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What does the square root of 2 like to describe something awesome as?

Root-ing two-ting

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π€︎ u/StrangerBatman01
π︎ Dec 08 2020
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Patel was teaching a boy named Ed basic geometry, which he was failing to grasp even on the most basic levels. He mistook squares for triangles, circles for hexagons and so on...

So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.

"What this, Ed?"

"A line?" the boy replied.

"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."

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π€︎ u/alkaath
π︎ Nov 09 2020
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Why do they say, be there or be square?

Because you're not around

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π€︎ u/hotsprings1234
π︎ Nov 21 2020
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If someone mails you a square can of meat, DON'T open it!

It's Spam.

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π€︎ u/IamREBELoe
π︎ Sep 03 2020
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My girlfriend is the square root of -100.

A perfect 10 but purely imaginary.

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π€︎ u/BamaPaul
π︎ Nov 01 2020
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I poured root beer in a square glass, now I have only beer
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π€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
π︎ Jul 14 2020
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My girlfriend is like square root -100

A straight 10 but imaginary too

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π€︎ u/somedudefromsg
π︎ Sep 20 2020
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My girlfriend is the square root of - 100

She's a perfect 10, but completely imaginary

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π€︎ u/xtilexx
π︎ Aug 22 2020
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My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.

A solid 10, but also imaginary.

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π€︎ u/bot_10
π︎ Nov 15 2019
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Why are City Morgues always square?

It's because of all of the coroners.

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π︎ Sep 04 2020
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If I poured root beer into a square glass,

would I just have beer?

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π€︎ u/knopper91
π︎ Mar 29 2020
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A square-root
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π€︎ u/TheSlippyKnot
π︎ May 11 2020
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What animal is shaped like a square ?

A squarrel

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π︎ Jul 23 2020
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A square ran into a dead end while running away from hundred of circles

He was cornered

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π€︎ u/Zero_the_Red
π︎ Sep 15 2020
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I still remember the moment when my math professor told us what the square root of -1 was.

It was unreal.

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π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Jun 25 2020
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What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?

Just beer i guess.

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π€︎ u/Eagle_Vision_13
π︎ Apr 27 2020
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A pun-net punnet square
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π€︎ u/pixl8er
π︎ Jun 03 2020
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How did the circle know the square had nothing on him?

Because he said he had him cornered.

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π€︎ u/saltyquill
π︎ May 25 2020
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Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?

Because of his contra band...

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π€︎ u/changhaobyu
π︎ Aug 15 2020
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Square root
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π€︎ u/marinthierry
π︎ Apr 19 2020
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What happens to a square when it watches porn

It becomes an erectangle

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π€︎ u/fairywithcancer
π︎ Aug 04 2020
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Square root? Or cube root?
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π︎ Jan 28 2020
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What do you call 100 penguins in Trafalgar Square?

Lost, theyβre lost.

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π€︎ u/CallMeMrWhite
π︎ Jul 09 2020
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Two rich dudes were hanging out in a bar. One said to the other, "Hey, you wanna come to my square island?"

The other responded "Four shore!"

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π€︎ u/RedBluemann
π︎ May 01 2020
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Son: βWow really? Can I come too?β

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π€︎ u/misplacedfreckles
π︎ Jun 18 2020
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Be there or bean square
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π€︎ u/moolie-sheep
π︎ Apr 05 2020
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This Square Earth I found at a book store.
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π€︎ u/Greekboy69Z
π︎ Jan 03 2020
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If I pour root beer into a square glass

Is it just regular beer?

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π€︎ u/Akbeardman
π︎ Apr 11 2020
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The teacher asked if anyone knew the square root of negative one...

So I shouted βIβ

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π€︎ u/MattAmpersand
π︎ Jan 08 2020
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I pour my root beer into a square cup.

Now it's just beer.

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π€︎ u/tanzaniteflame
π︎ Oct 03 2018
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Finally found the square root
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π€︎ u/pyk0th
π︎ Dec 28 2017
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When people say "be there or be square"...

It's because if you're not there, you're not around.

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π€︎ u/HalfCrazed
π︎ Mar 02 2020
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What happens when you put a plant in a square?

It dies.

Why?
It loses its root

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π€︎ u/good_haircut
π︎ Dec 30 2019
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Do you know why the say "be there or be square?"

Because you're not around.

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π︎ Apr 06 2019
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What do you call a square missing a side

An incomplete meal

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π€︎ u/epicboi6
π︎ Feb 22 2020
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My girlfriend is like the square root of -100

A solid 10, complex and negative half the time.

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π€︎ u/phantomPl0x
π︎ Nov 16 2019
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Whatβs the square root of Orange Julius?

We donβt square roots here, we juice oranges. Get back to work!

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π︎ Feb 13 2020
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Why is the circle more trustworthy than the square?

Because he doesnβt have an angle

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π€︎ u/boogerknows
π︎ Oct 24 2019
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I really wish I had made a pun about how we celebrate New Years Eve in Times Square.

I really dropped the ball on that one.

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π€︎ u/ajd011394
π︎ Jan 01 2020
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I used to work at a square tyre factory...

It was a real bumpy ride.

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π€︎ u/TerrySlews
π︎ Oct 20 2019
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I put my root beer in a square glass

And now I have beer.

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π€︎ u/DM_me_some_rice
π︎ Nov 10 2020
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I poured root beer into a square glass

Now I just have beer

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π€︎ u/PIatinumP0tato
π︎ Jul 28 2020
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My girlfriend is like the square root of -100

A solid 10, but also imaginary

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π€︎ u/RoyTheShip
π︎ Nov 18 2018
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