When we moved into my new house, our next door neighbour presented us with a bunch of logs for our fireplace.

It was ...a house warming gift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...

...and chimney installations are through the roof!

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdm242
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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"Ho, ho, ho," the jolly bastard mused, unaware I'd been slinking in the shadows for days, ready to unleash my revenge. I'd memorized his patterns, followed his every move, and had set the perfect trap. Down the chimney, ensnared by my noose, and left hanging above the fireplace; I got what I wanted.

A Christmas stalking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?

He keeps a log book.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChknSchnity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited?

He keeps a log book.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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My friend called an said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...

Sounds like another case of the flue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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Is my old fireplace Eastern Europe?

As it is behind an iron curtain.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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I went to see a psychologist after I discovered cracks in the hearth of my fireplace.

I told him I was having a mantle breakdown.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notchase
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2016
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My fireplace felt a little warm today

I think it has a flue.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meatbased
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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My friend said that he wraps empty boxes to put under the tree. Every time one of his kids acts up,he throws them in the fireplace.

I asked him what happens when he runs out of kids?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesenseiv1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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I told my wife that our fireplace is sick

Turns out it has the flue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.

Now he's passed the mantle on to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrBELDING69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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What do you call Santa after he fell into the fireplace?

Krisp Kringle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingLord17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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Come checkout my fireplace tonight

It’s gonna be lit πŸ”₯

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esus9
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees

swarm

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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My latest painting: A still life of apples in a basket in front of an unlit fireplace.

I'm calling it "Fruit by the Soot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pony_Express11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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So let me tell you a little about my situation. It's currently about -12Β°F outside and my HVAC just broke. So, I decided to build a fire, but it turns out I can't use my fireplace because it needs a new flue, and I'm sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this

but I just need t(w)o vent(s) right now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuddyEndsleigh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
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"Watch your son" my mother said to my father as my brother sat watching the fireplace

Of course as children do, my brother touched the glass of the fireplace and burnt his hand.

When questioned why he wasn't watching my brother my father responded:

"I was watching. First he lifted his hand. Then he placed it on the glass. Then he begun to cry. I saw it all"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tmama1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2015
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Asked dad to make a fire in the fireplace...

He tells me it's too late to build a fire, so I go upstairs on the computer. Later he calls me down because he built a fire. I come downstairs to see a tiny little candle in the fireplace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunarDrop
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2014
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