This pun is a Cut above the rest
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pablocaz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Why did the cyborg have to rest after his long road trip?

Because he had a hard drive

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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While the rest of the world were stocking up on toiletpaper, the germans were stocking up on sausages and cheese

They were preparing for a wurst kΓ€se scenario

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nword55
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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The impala was struggling to keep up with the rest of the herd.

She refused to pick up her pace because she was anti-lope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cobclob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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At a rest stop, the other day, a cop asked me why I was stroking the ground....

β€œOfficer, the sign clearly says to β€˜pet area.’”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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After the exodus through the Red Sea, Moses's staff could no longer perform miracles, and still he kept it beside him the rest of his life...

...he just couldn't part with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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The vet said our chick has survived through the accident, but his brain was damaged so he’d have to live the rest of his life a vegetable.

Guess we’ll call him Eggplant now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoohsySlayer69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Rest In piece the water i boiled

You will be mist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DZXJr2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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What did the angry salt say to the rest of the spices?

Don't pinch me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GetItGotItProfIt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I asked a German girl for her number and I'm still waiting for the rest of the numbers

So far all I have is 9.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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This one went by cold with the rest of the chat. Stone-cold.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoneblosom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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My son tried to make me a rest bed with a built-in water station, but the water kept squirting out.

I smiled and told him, "Hey, it's the cot that founts!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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Kills 99% of germs, the rest 1% cause bad puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiS
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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My Dr said I have to take these pills the rest of my life.

I said but the box says enough for 2 weeks?

The dr said.. that’s right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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This pun is a step up from the rest
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?

Because all the other letters are Not-Cs

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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If you're American when you go in the restroom and you're American when you come out. What are you when you're in the rest room?

European

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magic_Milkman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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The methadone clinic has cancelled urinalysis screenings for the rest of April

Unlike the grocery store, the clinic isn't adopting the "curbside pee-cup" system.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saltoftree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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My friend is such a slacker. He does his work and then loafs the rest of the day...

He's making good money being a baker tho...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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The good news is that you're going to live the rest of your life like a billionaire.

The bad news is .... it's Howard Hughes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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What does the rest of the NBA season have in common with the rest of the NHL season?

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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In this time of crisis I believe it is our duty as a community to make a rapid respons team to help the rest of the world!

We will be known as the rapid respuns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/van_-Dam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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Why did he come home looking depressed after the doctor said he needed to take a pill everyday for the rest of his life?

The Doctor only gave him 4!...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dartis_X-UI
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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This joke is Head & Shoulders above the rest.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
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There are 70 ways to be happy 1 is coffee and the rest is

69

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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I’m turning 50 soon and will tell people I’ve become part Roman for the rest of my life...

You know, because I’ll be a half century on...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titeman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Waitress: Do you want a box for the rest of your food?

Dad: No. But I'll wrestle you for it!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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I will not rest until I find the cure ..

... for insomnia

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gavin_SunBreaker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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If the Queen of England farts during dinner, the rest of the guests must pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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I could go the rest of my life without breathing.

It wouldn't be very long, but I could do it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exitmusic99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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MOM: Look at all this work! I can't believe I have to be an adult for the rest of my life!

DAD: Not really hon. After 70 you can pretend to be senile, and be a kid again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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So we’re driving down the road and I see rest area ahead. I say, hey kids

Speak now or forever hold your pee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djmuhlestein
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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For the rest of your days
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GlitchGaminggirl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons [xpost /r/trees]

This joke caters to the lowest common denominator.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zakmackay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
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I got home to find the rest of my family eating dinner. My son said "we'll you should have gotten home sooner", as he ate the last piece of ribeye.

I said "I guess that was my missed steak."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/virtual_no_body
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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On the instructions of my ready meal it says "Rest for 5 minutes once cooked".

But I'm not tired at all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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Jokes don't have to be original right? Cause I've only made up two jokes in my life. The rest are from things like this subreddit. XD
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilverWaters793
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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My daughter didn't want to eat her dinner so I said "Ok that's fine, technically you can go the rest of your life without eating."

"You'd starve to death but that technically was the rest of your life."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigaylowry
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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"I make the rules in this house, son. You're going to have to listen to me for the rest of your life."

"You mean for the rest of your life, dad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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Doctor told me I won't be able to talk for the rest of my life.

I was speechless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benjo1000113
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

That's naan ya business.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buskeran
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said, β€œWhy do you always insist on walking ahead of the rest of us?”

I said, β€œSorry. I don’t follow.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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I climbed the ladder and fell at top, neatly coming to rest on my donkey!

I fell on my ass!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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It's crazy how equestrians think they're so much better than the rest of us.

Get off your high horse, man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryansway
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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I'd say this liquor is miles above the rest.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said, β€œWhy do you always insist on walking ahead of the rest of us?”

I said, β€œSorry. I don’t follow.”

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report

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