This pun is a Cut above the rest
Why did the cyborg have to rest after his long road trip?
Because he had a hard drive
While the rest of the world were stocking up on toiletpaper, the germans were stocking up on sausages and cheese
They were preparing for a wurst käse scenario
The impala was struggling to keep up with the rest of the herd.
She refused to pick up her pace because she was anti-lope.
At a rest stop, the other day, a cop asked me why I was stroking the ground....
“Officer, the sign clearly says to ‘pet area.’”
After the exodus through the Red Sea, Moses's staff could no longer perform miracles, and still he kept it beside him the rest of his life...
...he just couldn't part with it.
The vet said our chick has survived through the accident, but his brain was damaged so he’d have to live the rest of his life a vegetable.
Guess we’ll call him Eggplant now
Rest In piece the water i boiled
What did the angry salt say to the rest of the spices?
I asked a German girl for her number and I'm still waiting for the rest of the numbers
This one went by cold with the rest of the chat. Stone-cold.
My son tried to make me a rest bed with a built-in water station, but the water kept squirting out.
I smiled and told him, "Hey, it's the cot that founts!"
Kills 99% of germs, the rest 1% cause bad puns.
My Dr said I have to take these pills the rest of my life.
I said but the box says enough for 2 weeks?
The dr said.. that’s right.
This pun is a step up from the rest
Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?
Because all the other letters are Not-Cs
If you're American when you go in the restroom and you're American when you come out. What are you when you're in the rest room?
The methadone clinic has cancelled urinalysis screenings for the rest of April
Unlike the grocery store, the clinic isn't adopting the "curbside pee-cup" system.
My friend is such a slacker. He does his work and then loafs the rest of the day...
He's making good money being a baker tho...
The good news is that you're going to live the rest of your life like a billionaire.
The bad news is .... it's Howard Hughes.
What does the rest of the NBA season have in common with the rest of the NHL season?
In this time of crisis I believe it is our duty as a community to make a rapid respons team to help the rest of the world!
We will be known as the rapid respuns
Why did he come home looking depressed after the doctor said he needed to take a pill everyday for the rest of his life?
The Doctor only gave him 4!...
This joke is Head & Shoulders above the rest.
There are 70 ways to be happy 1 is coffee and the rest is
I’m turning 50 soon and will tell people I’ve become part Roman for the rest of my life...
You know, because I’ll be a half century on...
Waitress: Do you want a box for the rest of your food?
Dad: No. But I'll wrestle you for it!
I will not rest until I find the cure ..
If the Queen of England farts during dinner, the rest of the guests must pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases should have no reaction.
I could go the rest of my life without breathing.
It wouldn't be very long, but I could do it.
MOM: Look at all this work! I can't believe I have to be an adult for the rest of my life!
DAD: Not really hon. After 70 you can pretend to be senile, and be a kid again.
So we’re driving down the road and I see rest area ahead. I say, hey kids
Speak now or forever hold your pee.
For the rest of your days
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons [xpost /r/trees]
This joke caters to the lowest common denominator.
I got home to find the rest of my family eating dinner. My son said "we'll you should have gotten home sooner", as he ate the last piece of ribeye.
I said "I guess that was my missed steak."
On the instructions of my ready meal it says "Rest for 5 minutes once cooked".
But I'm not tired at all.
Jokes don't have to be original right? Cause I've only made up two jokes in my life. The rest are from things like this subreddit. XD
My daughter didn't want to eat her dinner so I said "Ok that's fine, technically you can go the rest of your life without eating."
"You'd starve to death but that technically was the rest of your life."
"I make the rules in this house, son. You're going to have to listen to me for the rest of your life."
"You mean for the rest of your life, dad."
Doctor told me I won't be able to talk for the rest of my life.
If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
My wife said, “Why do you always insist on walking ahead of the rest of us?”
I said, “Sorry. I don’t follow.”
I climbed the ladder and fell at top, neatly coming to rest on my donkey!
It's crazy how equestrians think they're so much better than the rest of us.
Get off your high horse, man.
I'd say this liquor is miles above the rest.
My wife said, “Why do you always insist on walking ahead of the rest of us?”
I said, “Sorry. I don’t follow.”
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