Restaurant Sign Puns

So I ordered French toast during the renaissance.

I’ve been here two hours and she is still on her feet.

I waited as long as I could but nobody came, so I just washed them myself.

But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!

Employees must wash hands before returning to wok

Deborah Owen brings years of catering experience to the table, and Mark made his dough from a former pizzeria.

Once upon a time there was this lobster...

Under the sign saying the name of the restaurant it said “very cheap pasta.” When the waiter came to take my order I asked him: How cheap exactly is your pasta He answered: just as cheap as any other pasta Very confused I asked him to rephrase and he answered :just as cheap as any other pasta Still quite perplexed I asked him to give me an example.

He then told me: just as expensive as a penne.

As I work in a restaurant, a dad and his teenage son came for to go food order. When the dad had to sign the receipt, he asked what’s the total to his son as he could not see properly. His son replied, it’s $80.65 can’t you see? Dad goes, “wait till you get to 46” His son being irritated, I asked, Where’s do you see yourself in two years?” Son was speechless, and I told him, “ I was checking if you had a 2020 vision” The dad laughed in shame.

Reads a 50% off Sign on a sushi restaurant....

" Sounds fishy"

"harharhar"

Dad: "Hey let's go eat at that new restaurant over there"

Unsuspecting victim: "It's not new, the sign says 'Serving delicious food since 1923'"

Dad: "Yeah, that was only... dramatically looks at watch... 24 minutes ago!"

I'm a deaf man and I communicate via a combination of American Sign Language and English spoken language. My niece and I were sitting at a restaurant enjoying ourselves when she looks at me and signs, "I'm so glad I know sign language. It's really handy!"

I actually facepalmed on this one for the second time when it came up in my newsfeed yesterday. I'm such a proud uncle.

My dad sees a sign at a restaurant that says they won't accept checks.

"Oh, good thing we're Slovak."

Quick backstory: there is a bar in my town that all new alumni of the town's university sign upon graduation. My friends and I were in their celebrating a 21st birthday on Saturday and I just graduated. The bar is a restaurant in the daytime and they have great sundaes.

My friend asked the bartender for a sharpie so I could sign the ceiling. The bartender didn't have one and this was our exchange:

Me: "Ah let's come in tomorrow and get sundaes and I'll sign the ceiling."

Friend: "Sounds good to me."

Me: "It could be a sundate."

Friend: "Really...."

Me: "Convenient on Sunday!"

Friend: "Jokes on you it's going to be really cloudy!"

Me: "So then it's just clou-day."

Friend: "Get out." (Turns back to me while cringing)

We were at a restaurant and a few tables over these deaf people were signing violently to each other, my dad just stops eating and goes "Keep it down over there!"

Luckily they couldn't hear him.

(Violently - couldn't think of a better word)