There's a new Thai restaurant that where the servers wear S&M outfits.

It's called Thai Me Down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.

He thought the manager said β€œseize her salad”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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What do you call a server at a restaurant in Star Wars?

Darth Vader!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/MemesMyDadMade
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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'At a restaurant with food still on my plate' Server: "You wanna box for that?"

Me: 'It's not worth fighting over'

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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I work at a restaurant as a bartender/server...

And a guy ordered a medium rare sirloin for lunch. Once everyone got their food, I gave them a few minutes to dig in, and then went to check how they all were doing. Here's how it went.

Me: Hi guys, is everyone still doing well over here? (Pause to turn to the guy with the steak)...Or should I say medium rare ehh?? finger guns and chuckles

Guys: silence. Complete silence

Me: cracks up at my own stupid joke and walks away with no shame, leaving them in awe of my greatness

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ‘€︎ u/mkelsey4610
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2017
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Why are restaurant servers the luckiest profession?

Because good things come to those who wait.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mahare
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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At a restaurant, my dad asked out server's name.

"It's Robert." He said

My dad responds "Is that with two R's?"

RobeRt responds "No... Yesss..."

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ‘€︎ u/soupnrc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2013
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Two restaurant servers tried to settle a dispute with a game of tennis

But they could never start as service was not included.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/manubfr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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Whenever I get poor service at restaurant I take the server out back and cut off the ends of their fingers.

A harsh thing to do, I know, but by the end of the night they don't have any tips.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/harrisz2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2014
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I was a server at a restaurant...

...and it had a full bar. My table ordered a Mojito. I rung it up, bartender made it, and I gave it to the table. They didn't like it, said something was off (bartender got recipe wrong). I took it back to the bartender and said, can you remake this, they want Mojito not Lesshito!! God I hope I become a dad some day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinkleheimer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2013
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[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 143
πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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My dad at a restaurant. He's done this ever since I can remember.

If I go out to eat with my dad and we have any leftovers, I know every time what's going to happen.

Waiter/Waitress: "You want a box for that?" (Sounds like "You wanna box for that?")

Dad: Raises fists into traditional boxing pose "I think I can take you."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ‘€︎ u/nraws
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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The Random Dad Made This For Me

Me: β€œI’m not very hungry. I just want something easy.”

Server: β€œ...Maybe the chicken strips for $6?”

Me: β€œMaybe it does, but that doesn’t help me with my hunger.”

Random Dad across the restaurant: β€œGOOD ONE!”

Credit to @TravisTeeh on Twitter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoubieLou88
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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Every time at the same restaurant....

This actually isn't my dad, but a friend's dad. We've all gone out to eat before, and at this specific restaurant, when you order ribs, they bring you out a bowl of hot water that has a lemon in it with a towelette to clean your hands with. And they always bring it out right before the ribs. Sooooo....every single time, my friend's dad will feign surprise and let out a shocking, "What?? I didn't order lemon soup!!" very loudly. Then he just chuckles to himself.

I think he has done it to every single server multiple times.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbubbamac
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2013
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She: Why didn't you order food yet?

(Sitting on the top floor of a restaurant) Because the servers are down.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/shafiqueg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Dadjoked a new trainee

So I work in a restaurant and one of the duties shared by the servers is marrying ketchups, which is basically just pouring half full ketchups into each other so we don't end up pouring new ketchup on top of old ketchup.

A new server asked me the best way to do this so I took her back to the kitchen, grabbed two bottles of ketchup and proclaimed:

"If anybody knows of any reason why these two ketchups should not be joined in holy condimony, let them speak now, or forever hold their mustard."

She laughed, other servers were unimpressed.

πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ‘€︎ u/Only1nDreams
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
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I got dad joked while at work and quickly countered with one of my own.

I'm a server at a restaurant part time, and the other week I was serving a table of around 8 people. I went over to check on them and see if anyone was done so I could clear their plates. They said they weren't done...

Me - Okay I was just checking, I don't want you to think I'm rushin you.

The dad - Yeah I don't think anybody here is Russian.

Me - Yeah but is anyone Finnish?

The whole table busted out laughing. I walked away satisfied and was also left a handsome tip.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ‘€︎ u/atticuskraft
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2014
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Dad Joke - Ultimate Backfire

For as long I can think of, anytime I would take my family out for supper at a restaurant, when our server would bring us the check I would in my best calm and collected demeanor advise our server "Oh table #?? said they were picking this up for us tonight", to which most servers just give a ya right smile or a simple haha nice try sir.

Well on this most recent adventure I see the check coming and get all primed and plot it all out. The server politely slides the check to me, I so graciously put my hand on it and slide it back with my recited lines delivered so perfectly "Oh yes I should have told you sooner that table 16 has offered to pick up the check tonight". Well our server burst out laughing, which to us was a surprise as its not as hilarious as she is now making it. Well when she finally stops laughing enough to talk, she so wonderfully delivers the message, "thats good to know sir - cause your sitting at table 16!"

Jokes on me! But it made for a great night of laugh at dad.

Edit - "demeanor" - where the frick was auto correct on that one. thx Enders!

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ‘€︎ u/dontwanttosleep
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2014
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Grandad joke: paying at a restaurant

After receiving the bill at a restaurant, my grandpa would put his BC Care Card face down so that all you could see was the magnetic stripe.

After trying to run it through a few times, the server would flip the card over and realize his "mistake".

The server would return to the table, embarrassed for this senile old man, and explain that he gave her his Care Card by mistake.

My grandpa would then wink and say "I just wanted to show you I Care."

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calikka
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
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Got a Grandpa at work tonight...

I work as a server at a large chain restaurant (Applebee's), and got an old man at one of my tables tonight.

Old guy: I'll take a salad, Caesar.

Me: You can just call me Jeff

He grinned for about 10 seconds before chuckling, and I even got his wife and granddaughter laughing with it. Mission accomplished.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ‘€︎ u/fsusparks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2015
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So I dad joked a couple at work last night

I'm a server at a local restaurant. A couple came in and both of them ordered fish and chips. As I'm bringing it out to them, the wife says, "Holy mackerel, that's a lot of food!" I responded with, "Actually, we use cod instead, but it's delicious nonetheless." They didn't realize what happened until I scurried away giggling.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2014
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My father dropped this one on the family while eating self serve icecream...

So we're out at a salad buffet type restaurant with self server ice-cream. My father, being quite the large human, makes himself a monstrosity of an ice-cream. This thing is like 6-8 inches tall and sitting on a baby sugar cone. He proceeds to eat the phalic dessert with much enthusiasm and I ask him,

"Dad are you enjoying that?"

He stops mid lick

"Not half as much as this icecream is"

My father ladies and gentlemen.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovewarevolution
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
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The Swearing Snake

It was a sunny afternoon in the city, and a 29 foot Amazonian Anaconda slithered into a hipster burger store. The snake slithered up to the counter and looked over the menu to find that everything was gluten free. The anaconda was disappointed, because he always found that the light fluffy bread on each end of his burger was his favorite part of the burger.

The clerk greeted him with a smile. "Hello! My name is Hyun! Can I take your order?" he said.

The anaconda responded with a sentence so foul I cannot type it here. It contained several swear words and many racial slurs against his server, all because the burgers would be served without buns.

Hyun reeled back in disgust. He requested an apology from the snake. Again, the anaconda belted out horrible curses and vulgarities.

Hyun, being the good Christian man that he is, said that he would call upon his good friend Sister Alice to perform an exorcism on the snake if he didn't leave. The snake finally slithered out upon hearing this.

About an hour later, the anaconda slithered back in with his owner. They approached the counter.

"Now what seems to be the problem here?" Said the anaconda's owner.

"This snake came in swearing up a storm and causing all kind of trouble all because we don't serve gluten in this restaurant" said Hyun.

"I threatened to call my friend Sister Alice to perform an exorcism if he didn't leave."

"Oh" said the anaconda's owner "Sorry about that. My Anaconda don't want nun unless you got buns, Hyun".

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/unibod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2014
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I'm a server at a restaurant and we were busy.

I walk up with 4 drinks and set them on a tray.

Me: I'm taking this tray, hopefully no one's using it.

Other server: well it's yours now....

Me: sorry, didn't mean to be-tray you...

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ‘€︎ u/shwoople
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2014
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Dadjoked the wife at the Old Spaghetti Factory.

Went out for an anniversary dinner with the wife and kids to the Old Spaghetti Factory. If you're not familiar, their mascot is a trolley car and most restaurants have one right in the middle.

We got seated at a table in the trolley, and service was great... At first. And then it became apparent that our server had given up on any sort of tip. So, at the end of the meal...

Wife: "We shouldn't tip her very well. Our service was terrible at the end."

Me: "Yeah, it really went off the rails."

Wife: eyeroll

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ‘€︎ u/DullBoyJack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2015
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My dad's arsenal of DadJokes.

If someone asks him if he is alright:

"No, I'm half left too!"

At a restaurant:

Server: "Hi, My name is Julie, I'll be taking care of you today"

Dad: "Hi, My name is Cane-Dewey's Dad, I'll be sitting here today"

Someone asks him: "How are you?"

Dad: "If I was any better, I'd be twins!"

And that's about it. That's his arsenal. I've heard these a million times at this point, and they are just now starting to get funny.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cane-Dewey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2014
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We were at a restaurant with my newly adopted siblings. The youngest (4 years old) "dad-joked" our dad.

Setting: At a restaurant with my newly adopted brother and my parents.

The server comes to the table and gets our drink orders, introduces herself, etc. After she walks away the following conversation ensues.

Brother: Did she say her name is Shinomy?

Dad: Shinomy?

Brother: She don't know you!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/dforderp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2013
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Dad at work

I'm a server and at my restaurant we have an item called the lox and lox. I'm serving an elderly couple and the wife exclaims "ooo they have loxs!" The husband looks me dead in the eye and says "Does that come with any keys?"

He said it with such a straight face I almost didn't get it. I cracked up while his wife gave a loud sound of exasperation

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/dikbutjenkins
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2014
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Got dad joked at work tonight.

I'm a server in a busy restaurant, and this conversation happened at the server station this evening.

Me: How many servers are on the floor tonight?

Another Server: I think there are seven of us.

Third Server: Seven, eh? It's a prime team tonight!

Several people looked confused, a few groaned, and I cracked up.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/mattywegman
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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My friends dad is a dad.

At a restaurant (friends name is Trae) :

Server: " would you like a tray for that? "

His dad: "no I brought my own!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeflipster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
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