Texas Prisoner Found Dead After Consuming Smuggled Fish Eggs
I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.
Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.
I'd make a Texas holdem joke
But I think it would be a flop
How do people in San Antonio, Texas like their pie?
Best part about this joke is that it's easy to remember.🤠
Something sweet I found in Texas
As if 2020 wasn't crazy enough in Texas today, a herd of cows suddenly burst into flames.
Scientists still don't know what the cattle-lyst was.
How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?
Why did the man decide to get divorced in Texas?
He remembered the alimony.
I walked into a car showroom in Texas and asked if they had any German cars. The salesman said “Audi?” ...
I said “Hello, do you have any German cars?”
Some people say the land North of Texas is pretty rough
Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."
""Listen Dude," drawled the lil' Texas lady, "If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested."
I’m going to open an ice cream shop in Texas called *Remember the A La Mode*.
I want to get a tattoo of Texas around my butthole
Cause you don't mess with Texas
I heard there’s a place on the border of Texas and Mexico that is making giant manned robots.
How do cars greet each other in Texas?
I didn't really know how to play Texas Hold Em but luckily my friend was by my side to assist with raising and calling...
He was aiding and a-betting!
I once played Texas Hold Em against a sheet of paper.
I saw a magician in Texas the other day. His name was...
Hiking with my dad while growing up in Texas. Every time.
Tapping on a rock one of us is resting on or using to tie a shoelace, "You know, some people take this stuff for granite."
Why did the chicken cross the road in Texas?
To prove to the armadillo that it could be done.
All my exes live in Texas.
Funny enough, so do all my cousins.
Did you hear about the Texas Roadhouse tightroping waitress competition?
It was hard for the girls to have fun since the steaks were so high.
What do you call a muslim living in Texas?
Texas Chain Store Mascara
Who is that Texas politician who is on a high fat, low carb diet?
My dad says that in Texas, there are only two kinds of mosquitoes
The kind that's small enough to fly through the screen door.
And the kind that's big enough to open it.
So, I hear in Texas there's this foreign car factory which is the only place in the world where they make...
Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas are all about to Outlaw Interstate Homelessness
These four states are all against the Oklahoma panhandle.
I was looking at a treehouse with my realtor near the airport in northeast Texas when I asked my realtor...
What is this Dallas-Fort Worth?
German-English baroque music played across northern Texas.
What do you call the frontman of a popular one-man band from Texas?
I was nervous to move from California to Texas
I didn't want to catch the blue bonnet plague
What is a Texas pharmacist's favorite song?
All my RX's live in Texas.
ringolio comments on [North Texas] Found this guy and a smaller, lighter colored one on my car after a short but hard rain reddit.com/r/whatsthisbug…
My Texas History professor.
Kids think they're so subtle trying to text. If I see someone looking in their crotch and smiling all I'm thinking is "God I hope they're texting".
Why do Texas desserts always have ice cream?
Because they remember the alamo-de.