What’s the difference between Taxes and Texas?

Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
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To all ya'll in Texas without tap water

Get well soon.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
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To everyone freezing their asses off in Texas

Go stand in the corner, it’s 90 degrees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/O_P_S
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
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Texas weather is making my best friend hilarious
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πŸ‘€︎ u/candyheyn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
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If Texas saw many, many more tornadoes

It would be called "Vortexas".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
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After this week's bad weather in Texas, there'll probably be a baby boom in nine months.

That snow coincidence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engfish
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
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What do men wear in a Texas synagogue?

A Y'allmulke

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
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With Texas covered in snow, does that mean...

its Alamo'd?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Romnonaldao
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
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The Texas state Aquarium taught a crow to play connect four, too bad they didn't teach it Clue...

I bet it would murder the game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RufusMoray
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
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Texas
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JorgeS727
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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Did Texas survive last week’s winter storms?

Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bsouls66
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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I just heard of an Alaskan who wants to visit Texas, but he’s afraid to...

...He suffers from claustrophobia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
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Texas Prisoner Found Dead After Consuming Smuggled Fish Eggs

He died on Death Roe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.

Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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How does a senior manager from Texas greet his superior? /r/Big4/comments/jroq6k/h…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/windsor_ty
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Something sweet I found in Texas
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoTheAngryToe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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I'd make a Texas holdem joke

But I think it would be a flop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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How do people in San Antonio, Texas like their pie?

Alamo'd

Best part about this joke is that it's easy to remember.🀠

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brydaro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?

$5,318,008

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMightNotBeKevin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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As if 2020 wasn't crazy enough in Texas today, a herd of cows suddenly burst into flames.

Scientists still don't know what the cattle-lyst was.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TigerDiesel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Why did the man decide to get divorced in Texas?

He remembered the alimony.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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I walked into a car showroom in Texas and asked if they had any German cars. The salesman said β€œAudi?” ...

I said β€œHello, do you have any German cars?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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Some people say the land North of Texas is pretty rough

But I think it's OK

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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I’m going to open an ice cream shop in Texas called *Remember the A La Mode*.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derricko31
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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Texas Lady

Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."

""Listen Dude," drawled the lil' Texas lady, "If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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I want to get a tattoo of Texas around my butthole

Cause you don't mess with Texas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swampgfox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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I heard there’s a place on the border of Texas and Mexico that is making giant manned robots.

It’s called Tex-Mechs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mortalfloater
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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Hiking with my dad while growing up in Texas. Every time.

Tapping on a rock one of us is resting on or using to tie a shoelace, "You know, some people take this stuff for granite."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunnysaurus_Rex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2015
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Stay safe Texas.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DawnOfArkham
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
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I saw a magician in Texas the other day. His name was...

Howdini

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skystrike7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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I once played Texas Hold Em against a sheet of paper.

It folded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonanza86
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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I didn't really know how to play Texas Hold Em but luckily my friend was by my side to assist with raising and calling...

He was aiding and a-betting!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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All my exes live in Texas.

Funny enough, so do all my cousins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickmidas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
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Why did the chicken cross the road in Texas?

To prove to the armadillo that it could be done.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicGuy66
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Texas Chain Store Mascara
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orgone-demagorgon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Did you hear about the Texas Roadhouse tightroping waitress competition?

It was hard for the girls to have fun since the steaks were so high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukethelogician
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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What do you call a muslim living in Texas?

A yeehawdist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/machucogp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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What’s the difference between taxes and Texas

At no point have my taxes ever been frozen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pumpkinskydie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
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How do cars greet each other in Texas?

β€˜Audi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/0LORD-VADER0
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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