What’s the difference between Taxes and Texas?
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
To all ya'll in Texas without tap water
To everyone freezing their asses off in Texas
Go stand in the corner, it’s 90 degrees.
Texas weather is making my best friend hilarious
If Texas saw many, many more tornadoes
It would be called "Vortexas".
After this week's bad weather in Texas, there'll probably be a baby boom in nine months.
What do men wear in a Texas synagogue?
With Texas covered in snow, does that mean...
The Texas state Aquarium taught a crow to play connect four, too bad they didn't teach it Clue...
I bet it would murder the game.
Did Texas survive last week’s winter storms?
I just heard of an Alaskan who wants to visit Texas, but he’s afraid to...
...He suffers from claustrophobia
Texas Prisoner Found Dead After Consuming Smuggled Fish Eggs
I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.
Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.
Something sweet I found in Texas
I'd make a Texas holdem joke
But I think it would be a flop
How do people in San Antonio, Texas like their pie?
Best part about this joke is that it's easy to remember.🤠
How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?
As if 2020 wasn't crazy enough in Texas today, a herd of cows suddenly burst into flames.
Scientists still don't know what the cattle-lyst was.
Why did the man decide to get divorced in Texas?
He remembered the alimony.
I walked into a car showroom in Texas and asked if they had any German cars. The salesman said “Audi?” ...
I said “Hello, do you have any German cars?”
Some people say the land North of Texas is pretty rough
I’m going to open an ice cream shop in Texas called *Remember the A La Mode*.
Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."
""Listen Dude," drawled the lil' Texas lady, "If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested."
I want to get a tattoo of Texas around my butthole
Cause you don't mess with Texas
I heard there’s a place on the border of Texas and Mexico that is making giant manned robots.
Hiking with my dad while growing up in Texas. Every time.
Tapping on a rock one of us is resting on or using to tie a shoelace, "You know, some people take this stuff for granite."
I saw a magician in Texas the other day. His name was...
I once played Texas Hold Em against a sheet of paper.
I didn't really know how to play Texas Hold Em but luckily my friend was by my side to assist with raising and calling...
He was aiding and a-betting!
All my exes live in Texas.
Funny enough, so do all my cousins.
Why did the chicken cross the road in Texas?
To prove to the armadillo that it could be done.
Texas Chain Store Mascara
Did you hear about the Texas Roadhouse tightroping waitress competition?
It was hard for the girls to have fun since the steaks were so high.
What do you call a muslim living in Texas?
What’s the difference between taxes and Texas
At no point have my taxes ever been frozen.
How do cars greet each other in Texas?