Texas Prisoner Found Dead After Consuming Smuggled Fish Eggs
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.
Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I'd make a Texas holdem joke
But I think it would be a flop
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︎ Sep 06 2020
How do people in San Antonio, Texas like their pie?
Alamo'd
Best part about this joke is that it's easy to remember.π€
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︎ Sep 12 2020
Something sweet I found in Texas
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︎ Jun 19 2020
As if 2020 wasn't crazy enough in Texas today, a herd of cows suddenly burst into flames.
Scientists still don't know what the cattle-lyst was.
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︎ Jul 14 2020
How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?
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︎ Feb 11 2020
Why did the man decide to get divorced in Texas?
He remembered the alimony.
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︎ Jan 13 2020
I walked into a car showroom in Texas and asked if they had any German cars. The salesman said βAudi?β ...
I said βHello, do you have any German cars?β
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︎ Jan 07 2020
Some people say the land North of Texas is pretty rough
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︎ Jan 10 2020
Texas Lady
Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."
""Listen Dude," drawled the lil' Texas lady, "If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested."
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︎ Apr 01 2020
Iβm going to open an ice cream shop in Texas called *Remember the A La Mode*.
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︎ Oct 24 2017
I want to get a tattoo of Texas around my butthole
Cause you don't mess with Texas
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︎ Sep 18 2019
I heard thereβs a place on the border of Texas and Mexico that is making giant manned robots.
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︎ Nov 11 2019
How do cars greet each other in Texas?
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︎ Sep 12 2019
I didn't really know how to play Texas Hold Em but luckily my friend was by my side to assist with raising and calling...
He was aiding and a-betting!
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︎ Aug 18 2019
I once played Texas Hold Em against a sheet of paper.
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︎ Jun 12 2019
I saw a magician in Texas the other day. His name was...
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︎ Apr 23 2019
Stay safe Texas.
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︎ Aug 26 2017
Hiking with my dad while growing up in Texas. Every time.
Tapping on a rock one of us is resting on or using to tie a shoelace, "You know, some people take this stuff for granite."
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︎ Apr 26 2015
Why did the chicken cross the road in Texas?
To prove to the armadillo that it could be done.
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︎ May 17 2019
All my exes live in Texas.
Funny enough, so do all my cousins.
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︎ Apr 04 2018
Did you hear about the Texas Roadhouse tightroping waitress competition?
It was hard for the girls to have fun since the steaks were so high.
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︎ May 20 2019
What do you call a muslim living in Texas?
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︎ Mar 01 2019
Texas Chain Store Mascara
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︎ Sep 04 2018
Who is that Texas politician who is on a high fat, low carb diet?
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︎ Oct 07 2018
My dad says that in Texas, there are only two kinds of mosquitoes
The kind that's small enough to fly through the screen door.
And the kind that's big enough to open it.
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︎ Mar 22 2018
So, I hear in Texas there's this foreign car factory which is the only place in the world where they make...
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︎ May 09 2018
Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas are all about to Outlaw Interstate Homelessness
These four states are all against the Oklahoma panhandle.
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︎ Jul 07 2018
I was looking at a treehouse with my realtor near the airport in northeast Texas when I asked my realtor...
What is this Dallas-Fort Worth?
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︎ Nov 03 2014
German-English baroque music played across northern Texas.
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︎ Feb 12 2017
What do you call the frontman of a popular one-man band from Texas?
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︎ May 03 2018
I was nervous to move from California to Texas
I didn't want to catch the blue bonnet plague
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︎ Feb 14 2018
What is a Texas pharmacist's favorite song?
All my RX's live in Texas.
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︎ Jul 05 2017
ringolio comments on [North Texas] Found this guy and a smaller, lighter colored one on my car after a short but hard rain
reddit.com/r/whatsthisbugβ¦
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︎ Nov 11 2015
My Texas History professor.
Kids think they're so subtle trying to text. If I see someone looking in their crotch and smiling all I'm thinking is "God I hope they're texting".
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︎ Sep 13 2013
Texas has a brother.
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︎ Nov 23 2016
Why do Texas desserts always have ice cream?
Because they remember the alamo-de.
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︎ Jun 19 2016
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