Whatβs the difference between Taxes and Texas?
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
To all ya'll in Texas without tap water
To everyone freezing their asses off in Texas
Go stand in the corner, itβs 90 degrees.
Texas weather is making my best friend hilarious
If Texas saw many, many more tornadoes
It would be called "Vortexas".
After this week's bad weather in Texas, there'll probably be a baby boom in nine months.
What do men wear in a Texas synagogue?
With Texas covered in snow, does that mean...
The Texas state Aquarium taught a crow to play connect four, too bad they didn't teach it Clue...
I bet it would murder the game.
Did Texas survive last weekβs winter storms?
I just heard of an Alaskan who wants to visit Texas, but heβs afraid to...
...He suffers from claustrophobia
Texas Prisoner Found Dead After Consuming Smuggled Fish Eggs
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.
Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
Something sweet I found in Texas
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jun 19 2020
I'd make a Texas holdem joke
But I think it would be a flop
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
How do people in San Antonio, Texas like their pie?
Alamo'd
Best part about this joke is that it's easy to remember.π€
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?
π︎ 48
π
︎ Feb 11 2020
As if 2020 wasn't crazy enough in Texas today, a herd of cows suddenly burst into flames.
Scientists still don't know what the cattle-lyst was.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
Why did the man decide to get divorced in Texas?
He remembered the alimony.
π︎ 39
π
︎ Jan 13 2020
I walked into a car showroom in Texas and asked if they had any German cars. The salesman said βAudi?β ...
I said βHello, do you have any German cars?β
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
Some people say the land North of Texas is pretty rough
π︎ 46
π
︎ Jan 10 2020
Iβm going to open an ice cream shop in Texas called *Remember the A La Mode*.
π︎ 582
π
︎ Oct 24 2017
Texas Lady
Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."
""Listen Dude," drawled the lil' Texas lady, "If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 01 2020
I want to get a tattoo of Texas around my butthole
Cause you don't mess with Texas
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 18 2019
I heard thereβs a place on the border of Texas and Mexico that is making giant manned robots.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
Hiking with my dad while growing up in Texas. Every time.
Tapping on a rock one of us is resting on or using to tie a shoelace, "You know, some people take this stuff for granite."
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Apr 26 2015
Stay safe Texas.
π︎ 156
π
︎ Aug 26 2017
I saw a magician in Texas the other day. His name was...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 23 2019
I once played Texas Hold Em against a sheet of paper.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 12 2019
I didn't really know how to play Texas Hold Em but luckily my friend was by my side to assist with raising and calling...
He was aiding and a-betting!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 18 2019
All my exes live in Texas.
Funny enough, so do all my cousins.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 04 2018
Why did the chicken cross the road in Texas?
To prove to the armadillo that it could be done.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 17 2019
Texas Chain Store Mascara
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 04 2018
Did you hear about the Texas Roadhouse tightroping waitress competition?
It was hard for the girls to have fun since the steaks were so high.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 20 2019
What do you call a muslim living in Texas?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 01 2019
Whatβs the difference between taxes and Texas
At no point have my taxes ever been frozen.
How do cars greet each other in Texas?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 12 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
