I guess he didn't expect a my tea throw.
Because at 99Β’ for a 24oz can the product sells itself!
We live in the cold state and I didnβt have enough fridge space for a case of Arizona ice tea. So I put it out the sliding door.
My son asks βwhy are there two cases of Arizona outside?β
I said βjust trying to warm things up a bit...β
He just stared at me for 5 seconds then walked away.
Dad: I love you Tucson.
A.
I guess that's something to shake a stick at.
My teacher only wanted the cliff notes though.
The hotel manager replied, "sorry, I'm not a big fan."
Heβs Grape!
I don't live in AZ anymore, but you know what they say, once a donor always Sedona!
Me: But I don't want to move to Tempe (town in Arizona)
Dad: Don't worry, it's just tempe-rary
that one physically hurt...
The man in black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed
He had a dry sense of humor.
He is now Dr.Awkward.
We went to look at Christmas lights at the Mormon temple, Dad was pulling out of the parking lot.
"Hey theintention, is the coast clear?"
"I don't know dad, we live in Arizona. I can't see the coast from here."
(Me) "You spelled meteor wrong."
(Her) "Did I really?"
(Me) "Just joking, you spelled meteorite. "
She said her and her family where going down to Florida when I said. "WOW that's cool what brings you down there?"
When she replied "A plane."
.... she got me good.
When Harry Met Salad
What About Ke-Bob
Cumin to America
Weekend at Bearneaise II
Steakin I, II, & III
A Few Good Salmon
Youβve Got Kale
Shawshank Re-Dim Sum
Romancing the Scone
An Γclair to Remember
Roman Hollandaise
Glazed and Confused
Bill & Tedβs Eggcellent Adventure
The Evil Bread
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp
Fondue the Right Thing
Ribeyes Wide Shut
Mignons
Plante of the Grapes
Spider Manchu
Sushis All That
A Wok to Remember
Marsala-la Land
Apocalypse Cow
Die Chard
Die Chard with a Vinaigrette
Hoganβs Gyros
The Sand Latkes
A League of their Macaroni
Revenge of the Curds
Rush SβMore
Braising Arizona
Demolition Ham
10 Things I hate About Ewe
Saladin
Oliver and Com-penne
Dirty Rotten Chanterelles
Sex and the Satay
The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs
Morella Enchanted
Provolone Together
Clear and Pheasant Danger
The Big Chili
LΓ©mon: The Professional
Ava-Tartare
Hocous Pocous
High Fi-Deli Meat
Madagascargot
The Fifth Elementos
Muensters Inc.
Thereβs Something About Rosemary
I Am Ham
Quiche Lorraine Man
Barley & Me
Lentil Giants
Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married
Face Stroganoff
Con GruyΓ©re
Fast Times at Porridgemont High
Bok Choys in the Hood
Papillonion
Requinoa for a Dream
Serial Cardamom
So let's say I'm looking for my keys. Where are they, I don't know, I can't find them. So I say to my wife (we're both non-hispanic white people from Arizona with constant Spanish immersion enough to pick some up some of the language):
Donde estan mis llaves? (Where are my keys?) Aqui! Aqui! (Here! Here!)
The dadjoke part of this is that Aqui sounds like 'A Key'.
Gets a groan every time!
He's Canadian and I'm from the Southwestern states (Arizona) and he had never had a corn tortilla street taco, so I made pork carnitas on Friday night. He loved them and then he said to me, "That was a maize balls!" Took me a minute to get it but then I rolled my eyes at him.
Q: Did you hear about the map-maker from Arizona, who got fired from his job? A: He had no sense of Yuma.
...in which I replied, "that's what they call a bad day in Arizona."
I'll see myself out.
We were watching the Green Bay vs Arizona game. Aaron Rodgers got sacked two downs in a row. My dad said "Come on Rodgers be like the eggs, and scramble!!! Bwahahahaha!"
While driving into Phoenix, Arizona from Flagstaff, my SO pointed out an area of road that was flooded yesterday due to the monsoon rainstorms. Looking at the crew that was cleaning up the debris from the road, I simply said, "Damn."
She replied, "Yeah, they could have used one.
Just discovered this awesome subreddit and have a dad joke that I heard while hanging out with my friend a while back. We're driving back to their house and the interaction went like this:
Friend: Hey dad, want to hear a joke?
Dad: Sure, hit me!
Friend: What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Dad: thinks to himself Phoenix and Scottsdale!
Friend: I-what? Phoenix and Scottsdale?
Dad: Yeah, you said his two sons! Tuscon, Arizona! Phoenix and Scottsdale!
He just howled with laughter while my friend kept calling him lame.
