"Dad, Dad, I feel like a city in Arizona!"

Me, Tucson, me too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twowheeledfun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Sign on an Arizona Gentleman's Club
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steve626
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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A man told me that throwing my drinks at him wouldn't hurt because I only drink soft drinks. But he was laid out when I threw a can of Arizona.

I guess he didn't expect a my tea throw.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Why doesn't Arizona advertise?

Because at 99Β’ for a 24oz can the product sells itself!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StoopSign
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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β€œWhy is there two cases of Arizona outside?”

We live in the cold state and I didn’t have enough fridge space for a case of Arizona ice tea. So I put it out the sliding door.

My son asks β€œwhy are there two cases of Arizona outside?”

I said β€œjust trying to warm things up a bit...”

He just stared at me for 5 seconds then walked away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JordanMichael08
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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What’s the capital of Arizona?

A.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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So the governor in Arizona just signed a bill that legalizes nunchucks..

I guess that's something to shake a stick at.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daseined
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Hope she's not headed to Arizona, that thing is gonna be toast.
πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/talha283838
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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I did an essay about Arizona and the Grand Canyon.

My teacher only wanted the cliff notes though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Justin Bieber was in a hotel in Arizona yesterday. The air conditioning was broken, so he asked the hotel manager if he could do something about the heat.

The hotel manager replied, "sorry, I'm not a big fan."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thkoog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2017
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You ever see Nicolas Cage in Raisin Arizona?

He’s Grape!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBTAHole
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
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I used to have a driver's license from Arizona. They had a neat symbol on them if you opted in to be an organ donor.

I don't live in AZ anymore, but you know what they say, once a donor always Sedona!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clit_or_us
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
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Moving to Arizona...

Me: But I don't want to move to Tempe (town in Arizona)

Dad: Don't worry, it's just tempe-rary

that one physically hurt...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/praguepride
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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I saw a cowboy chasing Johnny cash across Arizona, this is all I had to say

The man in black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Continuum_Gaming
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2016
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Did you hear about the clown who lived in the desert?

He had a dry sense of humor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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My friend’s dissertation was on nerds who love palindromes.

He is now Dr.Awkward.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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Every kind of clickbait does these simple things:
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Davilopy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Dad joked my dad.

We went to look at Christmas lights at the Mormon temple, Dad was pulling out of the parking lot.

"Hey theintention, is the coast clear?"

"I don't know dad, we live in Arizona. I can't see the coast from here."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theintention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2013
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After my girlfriend posted a picture of us at a Meteor Crater..

(Me) "You spelled meteor wrong."

(Her) "Did I really?"

(Me) "Just joking, you spelled meteorite. "

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IBrokeMyCloset
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
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My friends daughter who is 5 got me today

She said her and her family where going down to Florida when I said. "WOW that's cool what brings you down there?"

When she replied "A plane."

.... she got me good.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vinyeatsyu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Γ‰clair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut

Mignons

Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe

Saladin

Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

LΓ©mon: The Professional

Ava-Tartare

Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat

Madagascargot

The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con GruyΓ©re

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood

Papillonion

Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kat_fogg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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A classic Spanish-English dadjoke I always pull on my wife

So let's say I'm looking for my keys. Where are they, I don't know, I can't find them. So I say to my wife (we're both non-hispanic white people from Arizona with constant Spanish immersion enough to pick some up some of the language):

Donde estan mis llaves? (Where are my keys?) Aqui! Aqui! (Here! Here!)

The dadjoke part of this is that Aqui sounds like 'A Key'.

Gets a groan every time!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kirjath
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2014
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My Husband Got Me Friday Night...

He's Canadian and I'm from the Southwestern states (Arizona) and he had never had a corn tortilla street taco, so I made pork carnitas on Friday night. He loved them and then he said to me, "That was a maize balls!" Took me a minute to get it but then I rolled my eyes at him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iced_TeaFTW
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2015
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For my Grandpa...

Q: Did you hear about the map-maker from Arizona, who got fired from his job? A: He had no sense of Yuma.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/msloane794
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2016
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So my friend ordered "Dragon and Phoenix" from a Chinese restaurant...

...in which I replied, "that's what they call a bad day in Arizona."

I'll see myself out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robogles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2015
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Dad dropped this while watching football

We were watching the Green Bay vs Arizona game. Aaron Rodgers got sacked two downs in a row. My dad said "Come on Rodgers be like the eggs, and scramble!!! Bwahahahaha!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/USS_Ronald_Reagan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2015
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My friend was so upset that his joke was ruined

Just discovered this awesome subreddit and have a dad joke that I heard while hanging out with my friend a while back. We're driving back to their house and the interaction went like this:

Friend: Hey dad, want to hear a joke?

Dad: Sure, hit me!

Friend: What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Dad: thinks to himself Phoenix and Scottsdale!

Friend: I-what? Phoenix and Scottsdale?

Dad: Yeah, you said his two sons! Tuscon, Arizona! Phoenix and Scottsdale!

He just howled with laughter while my friend kept calling him lame.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbeFroman1986
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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My girlfriend is a dad

While driving into Phoenix, Arizona from Flagstaff, my SO pointed out an area of road that was flooded yesterday due to the monsoon rainstorms. Looking at the crew that was cleaning up the debris from the road, I simply said, "Damn."

She replied, "Yeah, they could have used one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/herbertvacuum
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2014
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Arizona: I love you Dad

Dad: I love you Tucson.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickyobro
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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