Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?

Hustle, Sleuth.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
What happens when the U.S. Mint stops producing currency?

I don’t know, it makes no sense.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samrf1202
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z

Happy No L!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.

...It was Kief or Southernland.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?

Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drigana
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a list of puns/bad jokes for every U.S. President reddit.com/gallery/jw48pr
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThackerOpinions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A little Christmas song. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
In an effort to combat climate change, the U.S. Army will no longer allow rabbits to drive vehicles.

This will eliminate 75% of America’s car bunny missions.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that U.S. Mail is starting a freight delivery service to compete with FedEx and UPS?

It’s called β€œS Cargo”.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blizzardwizard88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks??

Minnesota ! HA!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/balkso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't figure out why the U.S. Mint wasn't working...

But then it started to make cents.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funny-Promise956
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The U.S. needs to stop selling pre-packaged shredded cheese!

Make America Grate Again!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweetmonkeylove
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The U.S. Army is full of crybabies

That’s why we also call them the Infantry.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The U. S. Government legally believes in demons.

After all, possession is 9/10ths of the law.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madkins007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
In response to the American coin shortage, Canada has committed to providing the U.S. aid

They give us Nickelback

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquireX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
(with thanks for encouragement from u/sherbert_suspicious): I built a little model sports car car for my snail, and called it an S-car for Snail.

Every where he drove it, people shouted "Look at that S-Car go!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the deal with people who get fired from the U.S. Mint?

None of them make cents anymore!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickissupershort
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What does u/username do when he hates the hotel he’s staying at?

Username checks out.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
*whispers* b i o l o g y p u n s . . .
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OCTUStudio
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Ya know everyone seems to hate the U.S right now, but I honestly think it’s pretty

Sick

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinguiniiL
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw the headline β€œTrump Attacks WHO chief Over Criticisms of U.S. Approach to Coronavirus” and thought...

What the hell did Pete Townshend do?!?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreyBien875
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before? /r/ShouldIbuythisgame/com…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonaSavage17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
From what state in the U.S. most computers come from?

Dellaware.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danysco
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
You don't often see "turtles" spelled T-U-R-D-l-e-s

because they're an endangered feces

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why’s β€œU” used as the symbol for Potential Energy?

Because β€œU” have a lot of potential!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenverCav0
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
More U.S. Presidents were born in Virginia than any other state.

I guess you could say it's a Prez dispenser.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
In response to u/-umop-apisdn 's earlier post titled "Suislide" I present Sue-a-Slide
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBarramundi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?

Because it's indivisible.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The U.S.S.R Should Have Had a Different Leader in the Space Race

He was just Stalin'

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kqog
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is the only U.S. president who is completely not guilty.

Abraham Lincoln, because he is "in-a-cent"

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ModernAmerican52
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m very optimistic about the upcoming U.S. elections. I feel as though the country will be able to move forward with a strong, clear vision.

It is 2020, after all.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kttypo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
At a funeral a man sits Behind the woman who’s husband just died. The man leans forward and asks, β€œdo u mind if I say a word?” she responds, β€œNot at all, please do.” the man stands up and says β€œplethora” and sits back down.

β€œThanks,” said the woman, β€œthat means a lot.”

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turboboob
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
More U.S. Presidents were born in Virginia than any other state. reddit.com/r/puns/comment…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I guess it really is cold as FΒ° in the U.S.
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/virgie1109
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Made in the U.S.Gay
πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dailia-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?

Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moniker5000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy hastily trying to influence U.S. elections?

Rushin’

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jordy_fresh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in my kitchen and my cousin went next to me as I was looking at the brownies, placed a fork and said fork u. + to add on to this as I was trying to take this photo the brightness wasn’t working properly so my dad’s girlfriend goes β€œguess you could say it’s forked”
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Weewoman11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Which U.S. state is the sluttiest?

The one where everyone goes around saying "I da hoe*"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scotticustamus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
43 out of the 44 U.S. Presidents actually ran for office.

FDR just rolled in there.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a musical period with a U.S. president?

Baroque Obama

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathstryk
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Jokes all over the U.S.

Preface: I live in Ohio.

Over the years my dad and I have taken lots of trips together or vacations to different states. Well whenever he goes to pay for something with cash, thinking he's real clever, he asks the cashier if they accept Ohio money. Every. Single. Time. The cashier instantly gets super confused and kinda just stares awkwardly. Despite how dumb the joke is I honestly do get a chuckle out of how uncomfortable the cashiers get lol.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/colabucks9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2013
🚨︎ report
My friend 3D printed the letters S A T U R D A Y and S U N D A Y, and then threw those at me with maximum force.

I couldn't get up. I was completely weekend by it.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What U.S state has the smallest soda?

Minnesota

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_just_my_2_cents
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?

Because they're all not 'C's.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I have updated the alphabet for festive period. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z

No-el no-L

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RikM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?

Because it's indivisible.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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