Perdue and Loeffler lost the Georgia race

And I’m laughing my Ossoff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smorp_a_Dorp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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What do you call a pretty girl from Georgia with a limp?

A peach hobbler.

(One of my kids favorites).

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Shopping in Tybee Island, Georgia USA...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cytomitchel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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This village on the way to Kazbegi, Georgia.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaRoma
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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What do you call a pretty girl in Georgia with a limp?

A peach hobbler.

(This is an original as far as I can tell. Made it up years ago on a car ride across the US with the family. Kids are in college now but still enjoy it.)

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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In the song β€œThe devil went down to Georgia”, what did the devil give Johnny?

A u-seless fiddle (sorry if you haven’t heard the song, check it out, is lovely).

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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So the Devil went down to Georgia.

He was looking for a soul to take. He came up to a man and said, "Sir, would you make a deal in exchange for your soul?" Now the man had red hair, so people said he did not have one. He told the Devil, "I'll give you my 'soul' if you grant me eternal youth, and infinite riches. But I contain my 'soul' in a container." The Devil agreed and they shook, then the man gave the Devil his left shoe's sole.

Told by a grandpa.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
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The University of Georgia Newspaper

The UGA newspaper is called The Red & Black, but the other day I asked myself; why isn't it called Black, White, and Read All Over?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Parker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2015
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My dad is keeping light during Georgia's latest winter storm.

Georgia/Atlanta is expecting a big ice storm tonight/tomorrow. As I got off work, my dad texts me with weather conditions in a nearby town.

Dad: Did you hear they have ice in Cedartown?

Me: Already?

Dad: It's $1.79 a bag.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WacktheMedic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2014
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We were sitting at a Georgia Bulldog Game..

It was half-time and it was time for the mascot, Uga, to get walked out into the center of the field before the band played. Everyone, as always, stood up and was really excited to see the dog help get the crowd pumped up for the second half.

Once the band started playing, the dog got settled down on the Georgia logo and started licking his ass like you've seen countless dogs do before.The man on the other side of my dad nudged him and joked, " Man, I wish I could do that."

My dad looked at him and exclaimed, "Are you kidding?! That dog will bite you!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/srswartzel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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Ooh that’s on point
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crumble-bee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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Election results

Looks like a lot of people in Georgia will be laughing their Ossoff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r0n0j0y
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

Don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/microphonetopgear
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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The Joke that caused my dad to be "randomly selected for a drug test" at work.

To give a little background: My dad was a truck driver at the time, and he never saw something on the side of the road or that had a "free" sign on it that he could drive by without at least taking a look. My brother in law was a sheriff's deputy. He told this joke to my neighbor, I will try to do it justice.

My dad, his dispatcher(DIS), and lady neighbor(LN) are outside talking and it goes something like this:

Dad: Ugh, What a f--king week. I can not believe it.

LN: What happened?

Dad: I was in Georgia and I saw this cooler in the far corner of the rest area, just as you're about to leave. I looked around and I didn't see anyone... So I figured someone had forgotten it on their picnic... It was a nice ass cooler too. Igloo brand with the heavy duty wheels. It was beautiful.

LN: Let me guess, you took it and the food that was in it?

Dad: Oh god I wish, It was a nice cooler. So, I go over and I'm still looking around in case the owners are still there. So I get to the cooler and I

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heythereanny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
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I angered some country music fans while driving from Lake City to Valdosta

Apparently I had crossed the Florida Georgia Line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnbr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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Traffic ticket in Atlanta

Watch out while driving through Atlanta, Ga. I hit a seagull, it flipped off my windshield and hit the cop car behind me. He pulled me over and ticketed me.

Whatever you do, don't flip the bird to the cops in Georgia.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flaspike
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2015
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Road trip

Driving through Georgia, the wife saw a sign for Jekyll Island. She turns to me and says, "Oh I've heard Jekyll island is really nice."

My response: "Yeah, I've heard it's a lot nicer than Hyde Island"

Her: "You're terrible."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PooGod
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2016
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Dadjoke from memory

Allow me to regale you with a couple tales illustrating my late dad's sense of humor. Last names faked because I'm not that stupid.

.

(1). At a routine PTA meeting about me in my Georgia school, everyone found themselves packed into a hot and stuffy room waiting for the boredom to end. Shoulder to shoulder fun, can you picture it?

My dad lets one rip. It's loud, smelly, and echoes. The room falls silent as the fart invites itself unfavorably to the nostrils of those in attendance.

He turns to my mom and with his best shocked face says, "... Patty!"

I like to think he slept on the couch that night.

.

(2). During my old man's wait for us to arrive at the new home he had bought, he had to deal with ongoing construction and roughed it at a hotel for a few nights. He was a retired Master Chief Machinist's Mate, so cramped quarters reminded him of the sub's nuclear engine room. No biggie.

An interview comes up for a civilian nuclear power plant nearby, and before you know it my dad

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morvick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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My wife forgot to order her absentee ballot for Super Tuesday.

I said we ought to drive down to Georgia, but we also have to get back to where we live shortly thereafter.

Looks like it's going to be a turn and Bern.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gothmog1114
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2016
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Dad jokes about our recent car ride

My Dad drove a full 9 hour car ride with me from Virginia to Georgia

Me: I'm tired. I didn't get any sleep during the ride

Dad: I DID!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AGMarasco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2014
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A lame play on Russian words

Me and my family are from Krasnoyarsk, Russia. But I've known English most of my life by now. My dad, however, is from Georgia, and thinks its hilarious to play on Russian words. I recently got a new Mazda Miata. Every Tim he sees it, he says "Nice car, man!" In Russian. Car=машина(Ma-shee-na) Man=ΠΌΡƒΠΆΡ‡ΠΈΠ½Π°(Mu-zh-chee-na) Get it? Nice musheena, musheena! He won't stop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luca20
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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What state am I in?

My sister lives in Georgia, which is currently having some uncharacteristic winter weather. She sent me and my parents a picture of the snow on the ground, asking "What state am I living in!?". My dad responded with "considering the white stuff on the ground, I'd say a state of confusion"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/10thLevelNeerBerd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2014
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Top post reminded me of this one...

I was at the Georgia Aquarium a few years ago, when the female beluga whale named Maris was pregnant. The bull in the tank was named Beethoven. When a man who was providing information about belugas asked if anyone had any questions, a woman in the front row asked "Is it Beethoven's fifth?"

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
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I think I have made the greatest dad joke to ever be told

I was on training hike with a bunch of my buddies last year for a major trek we were taking that summer. We were hiking Stone Mountain in Georgia starting about the time the park opened. When we had all geared up, we set off to hike the mountain a few times. When we got to the base of the trail, there was a cop there stopping people for going up. Someone asked what was wrong. The cop replied, "There are three rabid dogs on the mountain, we have closed the trail until we can contain them." My friend, really disappointed that we couldnt go up just yet, asked when the trail would be open again. The cop replied, "I don't know sir, the dogs don't really have sense of time or schedules." Without even hesitating, I said, "I guess they aren't watch dogs." The cop was stunned into silence, every single one of my friends yelled their groans. I was 17, and I had to check that I wasnt a father

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weeberz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2014
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My Dad's favorite college football team.

Asked my Dad what his favorite college football team is besides his alma mater and my university.

Dad: "Georgia Tech of course." Me: "Why?" Dad: "They're the only football team named after an article of clothing..."

-_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheClassyRifleman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2013
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So on our roadtrip to Florida today...

... we pass an island called Jekyll Island in Georgia. Dad: "On this side is Jekyll Island, and on the other side is a place called Hyde Island." Mom: "Oh my god..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notazoroastrian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2013
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So we were watching the Olymipcs...

....And I looked up where Sochi was

Me- oh its right on the border of Georgia.

Dad- I didn't know it was so close, hell I've probably been there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I4mSpock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2014
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