Can't have shit in Detroit.
I've been in a state of Missouri ever since.
It really ill-annoys them.
I said "about 500".
Texan said: "I can get in my truck and drive all day and never get off my property!"
I said:"yeah, I had a truck like that."
"I'll just remember Sick-o-Sound."
'What?'
"You know Ill-of-noise, sick of sound"
"..."
Hillinois
When people ask where to find Macomb he'll usually respond with 'in mapocket, next to mabrush' gets me every time.
Illinois.
Edit: I meant sick, not sad. Whoops
I'm not usually one for bars, but since the smoking ban in Illinois, they're not so bad. I'm not much of a drinker either, but this one place in particular offers free soft drinks for designated drivers of groups of three or more. You have to get them from a location separate from the bartender. You declare yourself upon entering the place, then your hand is marked, and from that point, you're not allowed alcohol, but you get the free soft drinks.
Their specialty is their own brand of a mixed fruit drink that's really good. It's popular enough that you're usually standing behind six or seven people to wait your turn. So, Saturday night, while I'm waiting for mine, this cute blonde walks up behind me. I figured I'd try to be witty and asked her, "Can I buy you a drink?"
She scowled at me with, "Well aren't you the funny one?"
"What's with the attitude?" I asked her.
"Sorry," she said. "It's them." And she thumbed toward a table with (would you believe it?) a brunette and a redhead.
"Why?" I asked. "What'd they do?"
"I'm just getting sick of it," she said. "Every time we come here, it's always me in the punch line."
Driving through Illinois, everybody is hungry.
Mom to little brother: "Nick, we're almost to Effingham." Dad: "I don't want no f-ing ham."
Makes me optimistic that this talent will manage to be passed on to me some day.
Maybe they should change their message
My dad says this all the time. Still never gets old. We live in Illinois so this is like our state motto.
We were in Illinois when we go to see some family out in the "country." So as we are driving through rows of corn fields (and it was late at night, we were in the middle of now where), I turned to my dad and said, "Ever since watching "Children of the Corn," driving through rows of corn has always been a bit ear-y." He didn't know how to respond...
Edit: "
My family was on our way to a local Mexican restaurant and we were discussing a town called Park Ridge.
"well you know they call Park Ridge the Christmas town of Illinois, right?"
"why?"
"and a Park Ridge in a pear tree!"
Starting way back when I was just a little kid, spending time with my grandparents in Illinois.
Drinking ice tea with lunch. We always had a little bottle of sweetener on the table for the tea.
Me: "Grandpa, will you pass the sweetener?" Grandpa: "Oh just have your grandmother put her finger in there, she's sweet enough. "
Both dad and grandpa would bust up laughing.
I would giggle until the millionth time hearing it. But i love my grandpa.
I've been in a state of Missouri ever since.
