What do you call your ex from Maryland?

Your Old Bay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Mystic_Man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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BREAKING NEWS: There was an explosion at the Charmin toilet paper plant in Baltimore, Maryland.

Im told no one was killed.....but many suffered from soft tissue damage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeepguy797
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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A fruit that has a city named after it in Maryland?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krombopulos137
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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Maryland travel slogan

As part of a school assignment about the 13 American colonies, my son was supposed to create a travel slogan for one of them. I suggested "Maryland: How Do You Like Them Annapolis?" I thought it was better than he and my wife acted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LookWhatDannyMade
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2015
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Did you notice that people started taking the looters & rioters seriously once New York was hit?

Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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What does Grandpa call Grandma when she's crabby?

Old Bae.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/scarecrow53
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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I'm from Baltimore, and my boy said he wanted to be a creepy rockstar for Halloween

I said "That's easy, you're already a Maryland man's son."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegodawfultruth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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Dad just dropped this in the car with my fiancΓ©.

So I'm visiting my dad in Maryland with my fiancΓ©. We're all in the car driving while discussing Altoids.

Dad: "Altoids are delicious!"

FiancΓ©: "No they're not, they make my stomach hurt. You're wrong."

Dad: "I'm never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was wrong."

Good one, dad.

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ‘€︎ u/vertecadence
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2014
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Mom pulled this one on me today. Has she been a dad this whole time?

News: "Larry Hogan was sworn in today as the 62nd Governor of Maryland..."

Mom: "So he was only governor for one minute."

Such pun. Much groan. Wow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xmeggiex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2015
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I've got a really good long-distance-bromance going.

I've moved to London 2 years ago and he is still in Maryland. This was our google chat exchange just now:

Friend: Some days I miss you more than others. Today is one of those days :(

Me: awwwww... i miss you 100% every day

Friend: Is your aim that bad?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaltimoreBirdGuy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2014
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Proud of my daughter

We were eating dinner at a local crab restaurant in Maryland when the baby at the table next to us started crying. My 8 year old looked at me and asked "daddy, do you think that baby is crabby?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nub98
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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So I just did this, and cracked up, and realized I needed to share it.

Son: Dad! I got a new jersey, and it's actually school colors!

Me: Cool! Maybe you can get a maryland or delaware in school colors too!

Son: ... disgusted sigh

And yes, I cracked up laughing like a madman!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xenothaulus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2013
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Is Maryland a fruit?

No, but an apple is :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Rower
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2016
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