Georgia Tinder Puns

Also edited by /u/JoshIsJoshing, /u/tomdawg0022, /u/gandalf45435, /u/BlazingSummer_5, /u/asuranaga, /u/CommodoreN7, /u/Underpaid_lemon, /u/bwburke94, /u/chweris, /u/NanoBuc, /u/JamesBCrazy, /u/DampFrijoles, /u/SipChahoy, /u/kroxti, /u/BallMeBlazer22, /u/fo13, /u/T3hBau5, /u/NighthawkRandNum, /u/TinderForMidgets, /u/refekt, /u/shying_away, /u/greypic, and /u/SandwichesAndJuice

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I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE “Sanya and Waldo and I rushed the last Titan, and Chicago hung in the balance.” Literal....CHILLS from the first sentence.

Damn! Sanya and Harry and Butters AND Lara??? (Or, at least, Lara is heading in the same general direction.

“Ethniu knew the power of the swords at this point...” She’s smarter than literally every other villain Dresden has faced in that way.

Damn. Even a titan’s screech is painful.

Also, pain? Pfft! That’s something Harry knows, and is trained to deal with.

“The titan’s blood on it.” Oh. Shit.

Damn. She just sticks her hand in fire to cover a wound.

How does anyone win this? How do you beat a Titan? How do you deal with what she can do?

“Get her? Not much of a plan.” Reminds me of It have a plan. Attack.’

Clearly they need to get rid of the eye.

So...I assume we’re gonna see what the power of the spear is?

His shield isn’t gonna do anything against the eye, but good luck, Harry.

How does Harry know the translation of the name of the spear? Did I miss that?

WHO CARES?!? THE FUCKING SPEAR JUST LAUNCHED INTO THE EYE!!!!! HELL YEAH!!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnndddd...this is why you don’t mess with gods. It’s crazy how many....things. And people on this battlefield are above Harry’s magic weight class.

Okay, I’m just gonna say what we all know...this is some DAMN good writing. I’m thoroughly invested. Twist after twist after twist!

Haha. I know it’s a life or death situation, but it’s funny to me how Lara being naked is just a side note now.

“Something like that isn’t meant for mortals.” Yeah. Makes sense. That much power...

“Hell’s Bells, for all I knew, she was using echolocation.” Hahahahahahahahaha.

“And the adults let YOU have it?” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, just fun little moments in the deeply tense, life-threatening situation in which my favorite characters might very well die or be seriously injured. Don’t mind me. Just laugh crying over here.

“Ethniu came down the slope on all fours.” Oh. That must be terrifying.

“If you had a mind, you would’ve used restraint.” Damn. I like Marcone just trashing the Titan.He’s not even scared. Well, maybe a little, but he sure as hell won’t show it.

Damn. Marcone is STILL taunting the Titan. That takes some stupidity and bravery we’ve only really seen from Harry.

“She’d known I was there all along.” That makes sense. Ha. Echolocation not too far off.

“My coat stopped the worst of it, which meant I still got a broken arm.” Well

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

Six months ago, me, DH and our two sons packed up and moved 700 miles to be closer to my dad. He was diagnosed with a terminal illness last year, and because DH’s work is done remotely, it seemed the perfect time to sell our house and relocate to be with my dad.

A month before we leave, MIL texts us out of the blue (we’ve always been low contact, as she basically abandoned my husband when he was 15). She asked us to drive an hour to come see her, where she pretended to be near death (could hardly walk) and begged us to take her with us to Georgia. She said the lifestyle she was living with her current partner was going to kill her. Like she actually said if she stayed in Indiana she would die.

One month later, we pulled our moving truck up to her house. DH thought it would be smart to load her belongings first, so that our things would come off the truck first and we wouldn’t risk her trying to put her furniture anywhere in our new house. This plan backfired as MIL filled the truck OVER 50% full, resulting in me having to leave behind things I originally planned to bring, such as a 1960s chair I brought all the way back from California, and nearly all of my large house plants I’d spent 10 years growing.

So we finally make it to Georgia. This bitch fills MY kitchen cabinets to the brim with heaps of hideous dining ware that is too fancy to use for most occasions. She brought so much kitchen crap that I was unable to unload my one box of kitchen supplies from our old house, which still sits in my garage.

So before moving, we stupidly never brought up the subject of money. I assumed she would be selling her house in Indiana, living off of that money and maybe getting a job. Instead, she reveals she has $300 TO HER NAME. She uses it to buy a bed, a mattress and a TV and then she is completely broke. So we have no choice but to buy her meals, pay for her phone bill, and even give her gas/travel/spending money to drive back to Indiana and visit her boyfriend 2 weeks after we arrived in Georgia. She even goes as far as to make a grocery list of items she needs for the new diet she’s on, and asks me to go to the store and buy them for her!

DH and I struggled a lot in the early years of our marriage. He worked a job making 30k a year while I was in grad school, and we relied a lot on government programs for our healthcare and even food sometimes. A lot of luck and hard work, and DH has a job where his yearly bonus is more than the entire yearly salary we live

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Pilot on me!!

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

As far as I could remember, I've always been gravitated toward ENFP personality types, whether its fictional characters or real life celebrities. Their upbeat personality and colorful outlook on life always draws my attention, and I've always thought I would have some as my inner circle of friends, or maybe even end up sharing my life with one. However, the ones I've met in real life that I know for sure are ENFPs have been disappointing so far.

A girl that I used to work closely with slept with many Tinder hook ups while being in a long distance relationship. She ended her relationship after her bf spend a lot of money to fly from Alaska to Georgia to spend a extended weekend with her.

One of my friends in college recklessly knocked a girl he was hooking up with and had her get an abortion when though she wanted to keep it. Exact words said was "I did not need that in my life right now."

Most recently, I got burned while dating an ENFP for 2 month. She completely pulled the rug and broke things off because she didn't feel the "spark" even though we connected really well, shared similar values and had a lot fun together. Because I was completely blindsided, when I asked if that was the true reason, she got angry at me for not believing her as if I was attacking her and completely cut me off from contact.

This is just a few examples. When I meet them in real life, I do feel a strong connection instantly and love listening to them and their unorganized flow of interesting thoughts. However, some of the selfishness and carelessness behaviors they've performed has really turned me off, a lot more so than some of the other types. This saddens me quite a bit because out of the 16 personalities, I always thought they were one of the more inspirational types. However, I guess I could also see this is my own fault for idealizing them, since their MBTI personality aren't suppose to make them two-dimensional caricatures. This post is mostly just to vent, but if you guys have some thoughts, I would love to hear them.

Georgia Southern's most high-profile visit in FBS as BYU comes to Statesboro.

Also edited by /u/Sctvman, /u/chweris, and /u/TinderForMidgets

Please keep trash talk civil, and report any comments that violate our rules.

LET'S TALK FOOTBALL!