They tortured George Washington after he died.

They had him drawn and quartered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimmybuffetkol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Where did George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What did George Washington say to his reinforcements?

You musket down here

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billgluckman7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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What did George Washington say to his men before they stepped into the boat?

Men, step in the boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leanne_Cock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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I made a post on TIL about George Washington,

it got removed because it was β€œtoo General”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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George Washington predicted that some day in the future, a dollar bill will contain his likeness.

In that sense, he was on the money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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You ever notice how George Washington only got a big stick, and everyone else got huge memorials? I guess that's why they call it the Washington Post.
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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The guy who made this was a George Washington Carver
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiochemBeer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Peanuts are great and all, but do you know what George Washington Carver SHOULD have been famous for?

Mount Rushmore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrNerdfighter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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What do you call George Washington's false teeth?

Presidentures

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danwright32
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
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What is George Washington’s favorite animal?

A buck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jack-a-boy123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?

Because he couldn’t lie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshuaschrimpf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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If George Washington, Ben Franklin, James Madison and Alexander Hamilton play D&D, do they roll for constitution?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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Where did George Washington get his hatchet?

The chopping mall

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red0333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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What did King George think about George Washington?

He thought he was revolting!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thattransgal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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George Washington is the only president to not blame the previous administration for his problems
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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I was named after George Washington

My name isn't the same as his I was just named after he was.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HawkofNight
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
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What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch his coffin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arz992
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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While visiting George Washington's estate, Mount Vernon...

My Dad went inside the old outhouse and said "It says here, for a good time call Martha!" at which point he stepped outside the door, put his hands up to his mouth and called "MAAARTHAAA!!!"

To me at age 10, this was the funniest thing he ever said.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2013
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What did George Washington say to his men before they got onto the boat?

Men get onto the boat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pewpewlazor5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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TIL: George Washington predicted that eventually the $1 bill will contain his likeness.

In that regard, he was on the money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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George Washington predicted that one day, a dollar bill will bear his likeness.

In that regard, he was on the money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
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George Washington is the only president to have been drawn and quartered.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Trekspert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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Where did George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coolclay1300
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
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What did George Washington say to his men before they got in the boat?

Get in the boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/junto_x
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
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