I was cooking burgers with my friend Nicky when I flipped one up high and hit him with it, just below the chin...

It was a Nick neck patty whack.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prexzan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought it was chin chong!
πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
before fire lord ozai and chin the conqueror

it is oft forgotten that the air nomads once tried to rule the world. they were known as... the roamin' empire ;)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend asked how I cut my chin as I walked out of the bathroom this morning. Come on.. what is the simplest explanation?

I cut myself shaving

With occam's razor!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klinquist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JJDDooo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an animal that makes your chin really really cold?

A chinchilla

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.

Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Tuck in my chin, pull my knees to my chest and lean forward.

That's how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh honey, your not fat. Keep your chin up

No no the other one.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Canadbis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Mr. Chin decided to look for new opportunities after being knighted by the queen.

He is now Sir Chin.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chefboyclakie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My cousin looks like he has no chin

We were making fun of my cousin because it looks like he doesn't have a chin, it blends with his neck. His dad has the same thing.

I told him "I guess you have your dad's Chinetics" and my cousin asked me to see myself out the door.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spicyitallian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Some people have a butt chin...

but almost everyone has butt cheeks.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_ze_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Gravity Falls has the best puns
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IRONGOD2020
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My 6 year old gave occupations to the Planters Mixed Nuts.

Cashews are bankers.

Peanuts are urologists.

And Chestnuts are plastic surgeons.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inspire_me_please
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pudgy psychic?

A four-chin teller.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Rhett is not the same man without his beard
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do fat people go when they want to see into the future?

A Four chin teller

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been changing pillowcases all day...

Boy is my chin tired.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mjbass
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fat psychic?

A 4-chin teller.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I occasionally read tarot cards, with decent accuracy. Because of my weight and ability many call me a fat psychic.

I prefer the term β€œfour-chin tellerβ€œ.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, β€œConstipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said β€œNo, doc, it’s dis knee.”

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.

What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
not your ordinary can of soup.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liltrigger
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
After shaving my beard, I realized I liked my old look better.

I guess it really did grow on me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The overweight guy at the bank could see into the future

he was a four-chin teller

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Tho my friends plastic surgery went horribly wrong...

He's keeping his chins up.

/edits: rephrasing and pluralization.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The error message on fat bastards screen when his computer crashed

Chin-tax error

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jskell89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fat psychic?

A 4-chin-teller

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Nut joke as told by my dad today

What do you have when you've got two nuts on your chest?

Chestnuts

What do you have when you've got two nuts on the wall?

Walnuts

What do you have when you've got two nuts on your chin?

.

.

.

.

A dick in your mouth.

Groans and facepalms were had.

EDIT: Formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonaman8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Three little pigs

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.

The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, β€œI no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”

Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.

Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, β€œLet’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”

Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.

Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.

Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbin

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My physiotherapist has told me I need to stop doing most bodyweight exercises

He told me to keep my chin up though.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Some women are part of itty bitty titty committee

But some man are stuck in bare-skin hair-thin chin commission

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/konstantinua00
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My son splashed soup all over my wife at dinner...

... After we cleaned the mess, because he thought it was party time not dinner time, my wife was sitting, defeated, on the couch lamenting having a rowdy toddler. She was listing all the things that could be different if he was calmer (the kid is always full-throttle and smart as fuck, I love it but it's a lot to handle) including not stinking like soup. I look into her eyes, hold her hands in mine, lift her chin up and said:

"Baby, I love you. You smell super."

In unrelated news, sleeping on the couch is better than advertised.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greymalken
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
🚨︎ report
What is the device which is used to cool the lower jaws of south american rodents?

A chinchilla chin chiller

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/torrell8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Learn Chinese in 5 min

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...

  1. Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
  2. Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
  3. See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
  4. Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
  5. Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
  6. Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
  7. I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
  8. I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
  9. It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
  10. I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
  11. This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
  12. staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
  13. He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
  14. Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
  15. Great... Fa Kin Su Pah
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edg0023
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?

I think he just did it for a tin chin.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doodlebug02
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Me and my kids were tickling their mom...

I said, 'tickle her under her chin', my daughter said 'which one!'

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/locke-in-a-box
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What punch does a native American throw?

A chin'ook

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IceColdKofi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2017
🚨︎ report
My witty father got me with this long-con

One morning while sitting down for breakfast, my Dad looks up, points at my waist and exclaims, "What are those two things coming out of your butt?!" My 6 yr. old self wheels around like a dog chasing it's tail looking for said objects. nothing. I ask what they were and he says he's not sure, but that I will be fine. After school he get's home from work. Me: "Dad, do you those things coming out of my butt still?" Dad: "Yup" Repeat action and conversation from the morning again. And repeat again then next day, and the next ... 7 days in total I'm getting pissed my Dad see's them all the time but my Mom and older Sister don't. I surely don't see two things coming out of my butt. I'm starting to freak out and cry. Why can I not see these two things coming out of my butt, I'm sobbing, blubbering gibberish and spittle running down my chin to my shirt. I'm gasping for air and crying and just about to blow a gasket (I'm 6 mind you ...) my mom finally had enough, "Dammit Craig ... TELL HI

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acollins144
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2013
🚨︎ report
What do you call an animal that makes your chin really really cold?

A chinchilla

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pudgy psychic?

A four-chin teller

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fat psychic?

A 4-chin teller.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bruceygoosey23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2017
🚨︎ report
How do you call a fat psychic?

A four-chin teller

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2016
🚨︎ report

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