This is where getting high everyday will land you.
It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
What sound does a 747 make when it crash lands ?
THE LAND MINE WAS A....
GROUND BREAKING DISCOVERY
If a highly skilled bird lands on your father’s sweater...
That’s a pro sparrow on your fleecy dad. Looking forward to a happy 2021!
A dad and son drove by a golf course next to a few houses the son asked “what happens if the ball lands in the house”
The dad said “it’s a home-in-one”
Does this make Switzerland the Holy Land?
Did you know that the fastest animal on land is the ostrich?
Actually, it's not but the fastest one is a cheetah
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
90 percent of my jokes don't land...
A company started selling land mines disguised as prayer mats...
The prophets were through the roof!
Hurricane Marco is headed towards land
Hurricane polo is nowhere in sight
Why did the Egyptian man wrongfully insist that he was still on land?
Why was it so easy to see the aircraft on the grass lands?
(1) What type of airplane bounces back up when it crash lands?
What does a pirate drive on land?
I was going to grow my own tabacco for smoking, but I don't have enough land.
I guess it's just a pipe dream.
The government is finally allowing Lego Land to reopen...
...kids are lining up for blocks.
What do you call a large land animal that doesn’t matter?
Gave my wife a dart and a map, "once this is over, I'll take you anywhere this lands"...
I guess we're going behind the fridge for two weeks!
A queen went travelling to a foreign land. She asked her two ladies in waiting to clean for each other while she was gone, so they wouldn't be out of practice when she got back. When she returned, the two had fallen in love and gotten married.
They were maid for each other.
What should be the 2017 Oscars La la Land - Moonlight controversy renamed as?
My friend asked if I could explain what the land beside the sea was.
Some people say the land North of Texas is pretty rough
This is where getting high every day will land you
Why was the miner so determined to complete digging on a second plot of land?
Because he had one tract mined.
Could the Uyghurs expand throughout the vast lands of Eurasia?
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
What does a white man say when he gets more land?
What happened to the guy that sold land mines shaped like prayer maps?
The prophets were through the roof
A family drove to Disney Land, but they turned back and drove away
Because they saw the sign, "Disney Land left"
I can't believe my ex wanted the expanse of open rolling infertile land in addition to my trailer home...
She wanted my mansion and moor!
La La Land
https://preview.redd.it/vqrhmb5n0p041.png?width=1508&format=png&auto=webp&s=0014f34cd14db921a6d037b7f7d1801d888a15de
Today I taught my son what it means to own a parcel of land.
He was very appreciative. He said thanks, that means a lot.
I'm wondering what to do about my area of land
It's just a lot to consider
When we reached the narrow strip of land with sea on either side...
I knew Ithmus be the place.
Hawaii used to be part of a group of 5 identical land masses.
The other four were called Hawhoii, Hawhereii, Hawhatii, and Hawhenii.
"We don't need a fishy super hero!" The land locked victims exclaimed.
Sand is a combination of the words sea and land, as it is where they meet. You could say it is their ship name.
Courtesy of my friend who took more than the average amount of antidepressants
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
Did you hear about the business selling land mines disguised as prayer mats?
The prophets are through the roof!
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