What did the spider say when the timber company moved into his neighborhood?

You logged onto my website!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowsoverylittle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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Me and my friends first day as a lumber jack

Me: Hey mate wood you mind if I ask a question

My friend: sure, axe your question

Me: I’m making an account on timber (tinder) can you help me?

My friend: sure just put you’re username etc. (you know the basic stuff) and then if you ever get a new phone you could just log in

Me: sweet

Ik this is bad I never make puns also I don’t mind criticism

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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A couple jokes my sister has said over the years that I loved.

7+ years ago my sister and I were spending time with the makeshift hammock we had just built. She was spending more time than I was in it which led to argument.

Me: "Get out of the hammock or I will throw this Pretzel at your face."

Sister: "Go ahead and throw it at my face! I will just charge you with a salt!"

She laughed and winked as she shouted it.

Another time when she was around 8 or 9 she shouted something from the bathroom as she bathed.

Sister: "Everyone! what does a pirate say when his bath is too cold?"

Family: "What?"


These aren't even the best moments she has had. I just remember them most vividly.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ‘€︎ u/Braggle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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