What a birch imgur.com/CLMwol9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/duddee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2014
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There were these two trees that lived in the middle of a meadow, all by themselves, one, a birch, the other, a beech...

Having nothing much else to do to pass the time, they engaged in frequent conversation with each other about whatever tickled their fancy.

Well, one year, a sapling took root between the two trees and having not much else to talk about, they argued about the sapling for years.

"It's a son of a beech," the beech would say.

"No, it's a son of a birch," the birch would say.

And back and forth they would go.

Well one year, when the sapling was starting to get big and tall, a woodpecker happened to fly along and land on the beech.

The beech, seeing an opportunity to settle this argument once and for all, said, "Hey, woodpecker. I need a favor. I want you to fly over to that young tree there, and tell me whether that tree is a son of a beech or the son of a birch."

Well, the woodpecker not having much else to do said, "Sure thing!" and flew over to the young tree and gave it six good taps.

-tap tap tap-

-tap tap tap-

And flew back.

"Well?" the birch said.

"Well?" the b

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2017
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Reductress Β» Confession: My Lumbersexual Left Me For a Basic Birch reductress.com/post/confe…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/herobotic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2014
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Did you hear the one about the ordinary tree?

It was a basic birch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plmcalli
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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My neighbor is planting some saplings in is yard

Those sons of birches...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronQrow1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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What kind of trees grow near pumpkin patches?

Basic Birches

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DMFPx123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
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How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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If celebrities were types of wood

Spruce Willis (Bruce Willis)

Matthew Mahogany (Matthew Maconahay? Tell me how to spell it)

Mirk Russel (Kurt Russel)

Clint Oakwood (Clint Eastwood)

Benedict Lumberthatch (Benedict Cumberbatch)

Ashwood Kutcher (Ashton Kutcher)

Birch Reynolds (Bert Reynolds)

Russel Branch (Russel Brand)

Dwayne "The Log" Johnson (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeardyJunior2110
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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How can you tell how old a tree is?

You ask it for it’s BIRCH certificate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/20Chris04
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hawkmoona_Matata
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
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New England trees have sprouted legs and are running amok. Officials say:

Birches be runnin' wild.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KungFooShus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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If I were to start a Tree Nursery

I would call it Son of a Birch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bkibbs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2014
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Groans up..

Did you hear about the pretty sapling that entered high school?

:

Ya, she got in with the poplar birches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gtRio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
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Punny Redditors, I need your best "wood" puns!

I need help for a project! What are your best puns that have anything to do with wood?

Examples:

"Can I axe you a question?"

"I wood stay longer, but I have to leaf now"

EDIT: another one: "birch please!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cat_attack_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
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Christmas Tree Shopping

The wife, kids and I were out at the lot to cut down our tree.

The guide asked us if we wanted to be shown where the pine tree lot was.

I did the "oh no you didn't" double snap of my fingers and said:

Birch, Please!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zackprice
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2014
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