Arthur, author, art for half fir.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
A little over one hundred years ago, an icy forest exploded. Early on the morning of June 30 in the year 1908, a violent blast flattened more than 80 million trees in a stretch of woods roughly two-thirds the size of the State of Rhode Island. Because the explosion occurred in a barely occupied slice of Siberia, there were only a handful of witnesses and three deaths.
Well, officially, there were three deaths. The reality is an entire village was wiped out; men, women, and children experienced unimaginable horrors before dying in the snow. Records of the devastation were lost between wars and regime changes and revolutions.
You may have heard of the Tunguska Event but I promise you haven’t heard all of it.
My name is Lucas Vant. I run a blog called Horror in History and this is the story of what actually happened that summer morning near the Tunguska River. I know the truth because I was able to track down the journal of one of two survivors. The following account is from Sir Henry Franklin, a British adventurist who was on a solo trek through Siberia at the time of the Tunguska Event. I present, for your consideration, the actual incidents leading up to #TunguskaTruth.
June 29th, 1908, Yeniseysk Governorate
(*Note from Vant: The Yeniseysk Governorate is now modern Krasnoyarsk Krai in Russia)
Siberia has a fearsome reputation as a chilled killer. In June, though, with the sunshine cutting through the spruce trees and birdsong in the air, it’s stunning. The horizon seems to stretch farther here than anywhere else in the world. The water is sweeter, narrow creeks bringing cold runoff from the steppes to the taiga. I wake up each morning and breathe deeply of the fine summer air. There’s still a coolness in the wind at night but I have no complaints about the weeks I’ve spent hiking through the colossal forests in this strange land.
This morning, however, there was an ill-quality to the sunrise. The dawn light broke weak with a greenish tint. At first, I considered some bleed over from the aurora borealis but as the day grew older the phenomenon worsened. I was planning on hiking through a rocky pass east of the Tunguska river. When thick clouds came rolling down off the steppes, though, I reconsidered. After a quick breakfast of rabbit and coffee, I limited myself to a nature walk near the campsite in case of rain.
I’d set out to chronicle all of the flora and fauna that I encountered in Russia. My second journal is absolutely covere
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They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
I won't be doing that today!
