If you place all currently living people on the equator around the Earth,

at equal distance from each other,

...

most of them would get wet and some will surely drown

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π︎ Nov 21 2020
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As a globe restorer, I never turn down projects where I have to fill in missing countries or islands. But missing equators?

Thatβs when I draw the line.

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π€︎ u/CorbanzoBean69
π︎ Oct 08 2020
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Going past the equator really...

Crosses the line.

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π€︎ u/JonathanDoe297
π︎ May 22 2019
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If the human population held hands aroud the equator

A significant portion of them would drown

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π€︎ u/bertrandmacklin
π︎ Dec 21 2018
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What do you call a theater production near the equator that uses figurative or metaphorical themes?

Tropecal!

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π€︎ u/ObligitoryApe
π︎ Sep 30 2015
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I came across this equation on my chemistry test - C2H6O...

Looks like I have an alcohol problem.

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π€︎ u/shercroft
π︎ Dec 28 2020
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Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?

He heard it involved axes.

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π€︎ u/Calm_Fan_381
π︎ Dec 11 2020
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My teacher wants me to simplify the equation.

I told him I'm no simp.

I don't know guys.

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π€︎ u/sucksuccess
π︎ Oct 17 2020
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I'm currently creating a sculpture of a maths equation but I'm really struggling to finish.

I just can't figure it out.

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π€︎ u/soody765
π︎ Jul 22 2020
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what do you call an Arab who formulated the quadratic equation?

Al-gebra

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π€︎ u/ashwynee
π︎ Aug 06 2020
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Why is it hard to measure power usage with differential equations?

Because Watt and Euler don't mix.

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π︎ Jan 04 2020
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What's a tree's favorite math equation?

Logorithmic

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π€︎ u/raisonhell
π︎ Feb 11 2020
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π€︎ u/perfectpizzafairy
π︎ Mar 08 2019
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My friend was arrested because he was carving equations into a block of quartz.

He was charged with manufacturing crystal math.

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π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Sep 14 2019
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I guess we just didn't have any equation.
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π€︎ u/police_b00th
π︎ May 27 2019
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I'm trying to work out a complicated maths equation with a broken calculator

But itβs only adding to the problem

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π€︎ u/asussed
π︎ Jul 01 2019
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How to make a seven even without doing any mathematical equations

You remove the S

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π︎ Jul 31 2019
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What is the equation for the speed of fright?

Eeek! = MC Scared

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π︎ Oct 02 2018
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Dad Tells Time With His Hat

My dad worked in construction for most of his life, and because he worked with his hands, he sacrificed many watches. But if you don't have a watch, how are you to tell time? My dad has a great sense of humor and is always thinking of new ways to do things to make them more practical or thinking of ways to change things to make them work better for him. So after spending way too much money on a heavy duty watch that inevitably broke on him, he came up with a better solution.

He used the working part of a clock and stuck it on the inside rim of his hat, so if he wanted to know what the time was, he just had to look up. Simple. And the way his hat was, you couldn't see the clock when looking at him unless you were underneath him and looking up.

And then came the funny part. Every time he was asked what time it was, he would look up at the sun, scan the horizon, pretend to do a math equation in his head, and tell them the exact time down to the minute. I've witnessed him doing this a few times but never gave it away. The look of surprise and confusion this gave people was priceless.

My dad had done other funny things like this, but this was by far the funniest.

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π€︎ u/fredzred
π︎ Aug 23 2020
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Some students needed help calculating the number of food and drinks they'd need for a party. Their teacher responds...

"What's the equation? (occasion)"

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π︎ Nov 11 2020
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Looking for a Math Tutor?

Call 1-800-[(10x)(ln(13e))]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

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π€︎ u/MacItaly
π︎ Jul 14 2020
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What did the math teacher say to the difficult math equation?

I will calc U later!

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π€︎ u/tinmantommy
π︎ Oct 22 2018
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Atheists can't solve exponential equations because they don't belive in higher powers
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π€︎ u/jackamo91
π︎ Jan 15 2017
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An atheist refused to solve a quadratic equation.

Because they do not believe in higher powers.

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π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Jan 18 2018
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What do you call a gathering of math nerds?

A root of squares.

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π︎ May 04 2020
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I felt so damn clever this morning (Ordinary Differential Equation) imgur.com/6HkYIP8
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π€︎ u/euler13
π︎ Jun 02 2014
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What do you call a math problem that you can touch and feel?

An algebraille equation.

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π€︎ u/IamGargamelsCat
π︎ Jun 08 2020
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What is a duck's favorite equation?

The quackdratic equation.

&nbsp;

bonus:

&nbsp;

What is a duck's favorite restaurant? quacker barrel.

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π€︎ u/pm_cute_butts
π︎ Sep 17 2017
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What did the math problem say to the equation before it left?

I'll calcu-LATER!

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π€︎ u/artieboysucks
π︎ Aug 24 2016
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I pour my root beer into a square cup.

Now it's just beer.

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π€︎ u/tanzaniteflame
π︎ Oct 03 2018
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What do you call the beat to which a vice president dances while solving complex mathematical equations?

An Al Gore-rhythm

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π€︎ u/ImurderREALITY
π︎ Oct 21 2014
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Which part of the world is most suitable for building petroleum vehicles?

Down near the equator I easily Madagascar

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π︎ May 05 2019
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So my math textbook has a "Math Humor" section...

http://imgur.com/a/IXCKw

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π︎ Nov 09 2015
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A man comes up with a great idea for a new shipping method

A young man comes up with a great idea for a new shipping method. He designs everything himself, hires people to create models, and deduces that he can use old fashioned boating technology to increase shipping speeds by up to 350%. This is obviously a great innovation, so he calls up a former Business professor from college and gets into contact with a manufacturer. The manufacturer makes the man come in and present his design to the board of directors, so they schedule a meeting in two weeks.

At the meeting, the board is blown away. The manβs charisma, design, and equations all point to a massive innovation in shipping. The company is poised to make a huge profit. Construction starts immediately.

On his flight back, the man happens to sits next to his old buddy from high school, Jimmy. Jimmy tells the man that he has just blown the farming world wide open. His new GMO potato produces five times as much energy and has been the talk of the world. Jimmy says that all the news outlets have been reporting potatoes to be the next big superfood, and his design is poised to make him millions, if not billions of dollars. Jimmy pitches the man for the entire plane ride, and convinced him. They hop on the next flight back to visit the board of directors once again. The board is shocked. Both ideas stand to make billions of dollars for the company, but there is one slight problem.

The CEO says to the man, βwe know you have these two ideas. However, we can only allocate enough resources to make one of them profitable. I recommend you take some time off and really decide which of these ideas you want our company to produce. We can schedule a meeting in a few weeks if that works for you.β

The man says right back to the CEO, βIβm going to take a walk and clear my head. This is a big decisionβ and walks right out of the room.

Not even five seconds later the man comes back into the room and says βIβve made my decision. Letβs go with the shipping method.β This shocks the CEO, who says βare you sure?? This is a billion dollar decision and you only took five seconds to think about it.β

The man looks back at him and says βwell, in this business time is moneyβ so I decided to make my decision schooner rather than taterβ

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π€︎ u/BearGuru
π︎ Apr 04 2019
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E = m Β· si Β²

Nobody expects the Spanish in equation.

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π€︎ u/Tehrasha
π︎ Apr 05 2017
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I took a math book on a survival camping trip to the Arctic

I learned two things, quadratic equations, and warm ups are not what I had thought.

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π€︎ u/NotBilroy
π︎ Oct 30 2018
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Science Puns

One of the funniest school puns; science puns

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, theyβd be alloys.

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

If youβre not part of the solution, youβre part of the precipitate.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, βNo, Iβm traveling light.β

Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because youβre talking nonsense!

How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.

What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heβs 0K now.

I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says βI think Iβll have an H2O.β The second one says βI think Iβll have an H2O tooβ β and he died.

A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.

Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.

Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!

What element is a girlβs future best friend? Carbon.

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.

What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your βstyle.β

Iβm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I canβt put it down.

I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnβt seem to be gaining momentum.

Why canβt atheists solve exponential equations? Because they donβt believe in higher powers.

Schrodingerβs cat walks into a bar. And doesnβt.

Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies βFor you, no chargeβ.

Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: βOh, no, I think I lost an electron.β βAre you sure?β

βYe

... keep reading on reddit β‘

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π€︎ u/Punsville
π︎ May 04 2017
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Dad: So which way do the cars go around the track in Nascar?

Me: I'm pretty sure they go counter-clockwise.

Dad: Yea, in the North Hemisphere, they go clockwise south of the equator, right?

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π€︎ u/tenor3
π︎ Sep 04 2013
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On topic: Celebrity Attractiveness

So, my parents were talking about whether a celebrity (who's name I didn't manage to catch) was attractive or not.

Mum: "Yeah, she's attractive, but she's a bit bipolar though" Dad: "That's okay just take her to the equator, and she'll be fine."

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π€︎ u/Xionkana
π︎ Sep 18 2013
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Son: "Dad, I having trouble solving problems about solubility. Can you help me?"

Me: "Sure. It is pretty simple, actually. All you need to do is plug the numbers from the problems into the right equations. Then, you can figure out the solutions."

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π€︎ u/JakeDC
π︎ Jan 08 2017
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I've seen a steady increase of non-dadjoke puns in this sub over the last few months. It seems that people equate dadjokes with puns, which is not correct. Go to /r/puns for that. This comment by /u/skeptickal is a great explanation of the origins of dad jokes.

I do realize that it's hard or impossible to create a written rule of what is and what isn't a dadjoke, but whoever's moderating this subreddit should know.

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π€︎ u/Buddhainhair
π︎ Oct 22 2014
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If the world's human population joined hands around the equator...

A significant portion of them would drown...

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π€︎ u/Awesomebra
π︎ Jun 27 2015
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I came across this equation on my chemistry test - C2H6O...

Looks like I have an alcohol problem.

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π€︎ u/shercroft
π︎ Jun 17 2020
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I came across this equation on my chemistry test - C2H6O...

Looks like I got a problem with alcohol.

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π€︎ u/shercroft
π︎ May 25 2020
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Why can't atheists solve exponential equations>

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

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π︎ Aug 24 2015
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