What’s the best way to trap a polar bear?

First drill a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole!

(Told to me by my dad at dinner this evening)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megsie72
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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How did the polar bear catch a penguin?

Because it was bipolar...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twozon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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What does a polar bear eat

An ice burger

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shoto798
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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I'm going on a quiz show! There are lots of other contestants, but they're all grizzlies and polars. It's called...

Who wants to beat a million bears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Why are pictures of Polar Bears always so powerful?

Because they're on polar roids.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadsreal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed his tooth?

The dentist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EcksMarksDespot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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A polar bear walked into a bar.

β€œA rum and...................... coke please." He asked.

"Certainly", replied the bar man, "but why the big pause?"

"I was born with them", answered the bear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Donorob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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What do you call a polar bear that faces North and a polar bear that faces South?

Polar Opposites.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoriatis71
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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The polar bear was acting weird at the zoo

i think it's bipolar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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How to Catch a Polar Bear: 1)Find a frozen lake 2)Dig a hole in the ice 3)Surround the hole with frozen peas 4)Hide nearby.

When the bear stops to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Why do polar bears live only in the north pole?

Because if it also lived in the south pole it would be bipolar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Polar bears are known be extremely moody and sometimes even mate with their own gender.

Thus truly making them bipolar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssigea
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Where does a polar bear keep his money?

In a snowbank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fabulousump
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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What is the name of the polar bear therapist living at the north pole?

Dr. Sanity Claws

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foamy07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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As my wife gazes at our son, I realise we are polar opposites ...

She's thinking: I want another boy...

And I'm thinking: Boy, you want another...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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What do you call a polar bear on roller skates?

A roller bear!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/powerninja101
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Ever heard of the polar bear that lives on both north & south poles, is manic depressive and attracted to both sexes?

Hes known as the bi-polar bi-polar bi polar bear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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How much does a polar bear weigh?

A lot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazerCr0w
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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Polar express
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emo_rat_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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I hate being bi polar.

It’s awesome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sh4d0wfr34k94
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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A polar bear and his son are sitting on the ice

The son looks up at his dad and says, "Hey, dad? Am I a 100% polar bear?"

The dad says, "Yes, son."

A few minutes go by and the son again asks, "You sure? Like all the way?"

The dad gets annoyed and says, "Yes, 100%. Your mothers a polar bear, I'm a polar bear, so you're a polar bear. Why do you keep asking?!"

The son responds, "Cause I'm frickin freezing!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/byebyefetus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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What did god say to the polar bears when they told him they hate spring and summer?

Well, they can't all be winters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinexGuy88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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I have bi-polar disorder...

... But all things considered I'm actually doing quite well half the time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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Why couldn't the polar bear take his vitamins?

Because the seal was broken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinterWolf041
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Why don't polar bears get married?

Because they all get cold feet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkchippy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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How much does a fit polar bear weigh?

Enough to break the ice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrenadeLawyer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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A polar bear walks into a bar.

He goes up to the bartender and says:

"I'll have a gin and...................tonic"

The bartender says:

"Why the big pause?"

The polar bear replies:

"I don't know, I was born with them."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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How did the hunter kill the polar bear?

He hit him right between the ice!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaihemGaming
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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How much does a polar bear weigh?

Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm u/twenty-threenineteen, nice to meet you.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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How do you catch a polar bear?

Polar bears in the wild will seek out holes in the ice in order to catch fish. So in order to catch a polar bear, you cut a good sized hole in the ice and to line the perimeter with sweet peas.

The bear will see the hole and come over to investigate. It will see the peas and become confused. This is your opportunity.

When the bear stops to take a pea, you jump out and kick it in the ice hole

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πŸ‘€︎ u/factoid_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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My grandad’s joke: How do you catch a polar bear?

You cut a hole in the ice over a frozen lake, and when the bear reaches in to grab a fish... You kick him in the Ice-Hole

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_n3Rd_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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The Polar Vortex forced them to cancel tonight's performance of Hamilton in Chicago.

Once again, brrr killed Hamilton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NatrixHasYou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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How do you catch a polar bear?

First, you go to the grocery store and get a bunch of canned peas. Then, you brave the ice and snow and go to where the bear lives. Then, when he’s not watching, cut a big hole in the ice and carefully place the cans of peas around the edge. Finally, when the bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole ❄️

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kylieelaine3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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How close was the polar bear from falling off the ice?

He bearely survived.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?

Frosted tips.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/N64GC
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2015
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To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas

Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JosephsMythJr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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How do you catch a polar bear?

You cut a hole in the ice and place a pea at the edge of the hole. Then you hide. When the polar bear stops to take a pea you kick it in the ice hole.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trusti360
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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How do you catch a polar bear?

First, you drill a hole in the ice then line it with peas. When the bear comes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole.

(My daughter's joke actually)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeadpoolOptimus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How Do You Catch A Polar Bear?

You cut a hole in the ice and line it with peas. When the bear goes out to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditonaprayer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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Do you know how to catch a polar bear?

You start by cutting a hole in the ice. Then put peas all around it. When a bear walks up to take a pea, you kick it in the ice hole.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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What do you get if you mix a Grizzly Bear with a Polar Bear?

A Bi-Polar Bear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teddyburges
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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Does anyone know how to catch a polar bear.

First cut a hole in the ice and throw some peas in it... then hide, when the polar bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole....

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/briwike
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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