π︎ 14
π
︎ May 19 2021
Iβm really loving the tree puns people are posting
Theyβre just such lightwooded jokes but I understand that it doesnβt teaks everyoneβs fancy. Iβm running out of tree puns so I might have to branch off to other puns or spruce up my current ones
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
I'm trying to come up with a good tree pun
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
I wood like to say a tree pun,
but I am going to branch off to different jokes and leaf you alone.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
My dad told me to stop making tree puns.
But he's not the balsa me.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Apr 19 2020
So Iβm trying to work on tree puns
I guess you can say Iβm branching out and sprucing them up a bit. Theyβre oak-ay at the moment. But nothing that would leaf you hanging.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 29 2018
Donβt ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia havenβt noticed Iβm all out.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 25 2019
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 14 2018
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 19 2014
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 03 2015
I used to hear alot of tree puns
Most of them were all bark and no bite, even though they branched out to more deep rooted subjects. Some of the saps had to leave usually. Everyone was oakay in the end though, it left some of us feeling fruity. I was asked how the others were affected, but i told them i wooden know. I bought a wooden tv shortly after but everything was payperview.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 05 2016
I saw a tree yesterday.
I didn't trust it, it seemed kinda shady.
π︎ 335
π
︎ May 21 2021
What is green and fuzzy and if it falls out a tree it'll kill you?
π︎ 786
π
︎ May 05 2021
I heard a cactus fell in love with a fruit tree.
They make a prickly pear.
π︎ 204
π
︎ May 23 2021
Wife says I wonβt get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
π︎ 25k
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...
π︎ 194
π
︎ May 08 2021
Take that talking tree!
π︎ 44
π
︎ May 19 2021
What kind of tree is the best for blocking water?
π︎ 334
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
Why did the branch fall off the tree?
It didn't want to stick around.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 24 2021
How many apples grow on a tree?
π︎ 74
π
︎ May 16 2021
What sound does a tree make?
π︎ 21
π
︎ May 15 2021
What's white and can't climb a tree?
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 20 2021
I need to learn how to take care of my new tree
So I'm going to nursery school.
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 15 2021
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree?
Exactly. Because they're damn good at it!
π︎ 82
π
︎ Apr 05 2021
Why should you never be in a relationship with a tree?
You'll regret it in autumn when it leaves
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 11 2021
A friend of mine thinks he's an expert on tree types.
He refers to himself as a conifer
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 11 2021
What do you call an isolated tree?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 09 2021
What did Edgar Allan Poe's friends say when he was about to crash into a tree?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
A lumberjack was just about to chop down a tree when, miraculously, the tree said, "don't chop me down! I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack stepped back and said, "really? well, you'll die a log."
π︎ 27
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
What do you call a tree that sucks blood?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
My family tree is so messed up.
Yesterday I looked for it again and saw four dogs using it.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 21 2021
What did the dog say to the dogwood tree?
Nice bark!
From my 7yo this morning.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
Remember, it is ok to hug a tree...
They are all bark and no bite.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
Whatβs the best way to make a tree laugh?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
Know why you never see an elephant hiding in a tree?
They're really good at it...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 30 2021
Now it's our tree!
π︎ 25
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
How do you cut down a tree?
You have to axe it first.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 30 2021
You don't want to get on a tree's bad side.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Mar 12 2021
Would you like to reincarnate as a tree?
No, I don't think I wood.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
I went to the garden center today and bought a Christmas Tree
The assistant asked me, βWill you be putting that up yourself?β I replied, βhell no, Iβll be putting it up in my living room.β
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
A man is preparing to cut down a tree in the forest.
The tree says, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
The man replies, "You're going to dialogue."
π︎ 39
π
︎ Mar 12 2021
Iβve always wanted to tap my neighborsβ maple tree, but he wouldnβt give me permission.
Think I could do it syruptitiously?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
How did the arborist save a tree?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 19 2021
Why did the dog bark at the tree?
Because the tree barked first
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
How many apples grow on a tree?
π︎ 69
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
What did the tree say to his tree girlfriend
I wood do anything for you
π︎ 34
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
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