I had one that cost me an arm and a leg
I can hang around with him be cause hes lack toes free.
Because it had a second hand.
I'm gonna call it Half Off For Half Off
I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have: -fruit by the foot -Happy Feet -Footloose -an Ihop gift card -pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1) -Bologna (because his amputation is below knee) -a card saying congrats on the weight loss -all put inside of a stocking
What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?
"It used to be a lot bigger."
it gave me paws
I hear it can cost you an arm and a leg.
My boss said ever since I came back from amputation he feels the department's felt a little short handed
He's a got a faux pas now
He's all right now.
Does that make him my half brother?
The constitution gives me the right to bear arms.
Armish.
He said it was his weak end.
The good news is that your other leg is all better."
I think that I might be lacktoes intolerant.
His name is Oliver
“Is he ok?” “He’s all right.”
Now it's just a semicolon.
He is always serious and never humerus...
My other leg is all I have left.
My brother got hit by a truck yesterday, he was sent to the hospital. He got his both arms and legs amputated. He's now my halfbrother.
The doctor then replied "i know, i amputated your arms."
I’m lactose intolerant.
Its twice as much work to cut off forearms.
I'm lack-toes intolerant
He was three feet tall, and one foot short!
For context, my dad had a leg amputation a few months back but he’s been in mostly good spirits about it. We were talking about places to eat in our area, and he asked where one of the fast food restaurants was around here, so I said “It’s at the intersection, where the IHOP is.”
Dad replied, “Oh, that’s my favorite place to get breakfast.”
I never got food with my dad at IHOP before so I was confused, but then it dawned on me what he meant. 😐
I'm lack toes intolerant...
The suffered the agony of de-feet.
It was the third annual Thumb Drive.
They are lack-toes intolerant
My dad told me he’s a foot shorter.
I just barely stayed out of the "toe-away" zone.
But don't worry, he's allright now.
The doctor thought it was a little rash.
Looks like his standup career is over.
This actually just happened!!!
I was driving my 14yo home, and I was complaining because I recently hurt my shoulder.
Me: Ow, my shoulder is trash
Him: Maybe you'll have to amputate your arm
Me: That wouldn't help because I'd still have a stump to waive around. They'd have to amputate it at the shoulder.
Him: They wouldn't really do that, would they?
Me: Yep
Him: Baloney
Me: No, that would be down here and pointed to my shin
Then he started crying :-) I can die happy now!!!
they cost an arm and a leg
My other leg is all I have left.
He's all right now.
is an amputation.
