Yesterday I saw a very nice car with a handicap sticker on the back.

It must have cost an arm and a leg.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OfTheWhat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
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Depending on your golf handicap you can move your tee forwards or backwards

Move it too far forward and it becomes a birdie tee.

Too far back and it becomes a bogey tee

Get it just right?

Now that's a party.

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πŸ“…︎ May 02
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What did the handicapped man say to the ugly person?

I can’t stand looking at you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Val_Zero
πŸ“…︎ May 16
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What was the crippled Frenchman's reason for being handicapped

"Eiffel"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealMrMixtape
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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What do you call a handicapped lizard?

A ReptileDysfunction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LilCuntBoyXD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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What do you call a mentally handicapped young male gymnast born on August 1st?

A leotard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/False_Grit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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What did the restaurant staff call the handicapped chef?

Meals on wheels.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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Why did the park ranger let the man with the digital watch park in the handicapped spot.

His passenger had no arms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WebWheat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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what happened to the frog who parked in a handicapped spot?

he got toad

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2017
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Yo man does your bag go to the gym?
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/James-Underwood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
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You know why there’s no reserved parking at golf clubs?

Because everyone has a handicap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SanguineL
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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I like my women like I like my golf scores

In their 80s with a slight handicap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charlieboydawg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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Recently, I broke my hand while playing football

I had to sit out for practice because coach said I was a handicap ;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prunedada
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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Wife dadjoked me

We stopped at a dollar store to pick up a few items, and I parked in front of the store next to a handicap stall. I noticed the handicap stall was the same width as a regular parking stall, to which I remarked, "That's not really a convenient parking stall as there's no space for the handicap person to maneuver." My wife replied, "Ya, that's not very handy!"

Visual reference http://i.imgur.com/hM8a1kP.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aamir64
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2016
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My dad had a bad stroke

He would never golf again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedeadlinger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2016
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They have a lot of caps in America

My brother is currently on a vacation in America, and he sent me a pic from inside a store selling caps. Naturally i warned him not to become CAPtain America...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pellep
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
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One of My Dad's Favorites

Whenever we're trying to find a space in a crowded parking lot, he'll exclaim, "I'd give my left leg for one of those handicap stickers!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZugTheMegasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2015
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Dad zinged me when I told him about my golf score

I came out under par, wondered aloud what my handicap is.

Pops: "Usually it's your sense of humor!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chipmunk7000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2016
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Why don't the cool skater kids wear helmets?

Because then they'd be wearing a handicap! (handy cap)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeltaEks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2014
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My girlfriend and I were at the hospital.

She's still not speaking to me after this one.

My girlfriend got hit in the head at work today and had been dizzy and nauseous for several hours afterward. We went to the hospital, and they recommended that she use a wheelchair due to her dizziness.

We were waiting in the hospital to find out the scan result and she jokingly threatened to fight me over something I said. I told her it wouldn't be a fair fight, because she would have the advantage. I told her she had an unfair handicap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iBrave
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2016
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Road signs

Whenever we drove down a road that had a "SLOW KIDS" sign my dad would feign outrage and say "The city has no business making fun of the mentally handicapped!" or something to that effect.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peeonyou
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2013
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