Vertebrate Foot Puns

At age 23 in the year 2016 I decided I wanted to do a marathon so I signed up for one that was to happen that November. I hadn't had extensive running experience before that. I just ran intervals on the treadmill and remember thinking to myself this is an amazing feeling and I wanted to do it more. That summer I began the basic Hal Higdon training plan, ran 2 half marathons a week from each other before the full and managed to eek out under 4 hours for my very 1st one! And I wanted more.

I hadn't felt passionate about something for a very long time prior to running. It became a measure of personal growth, my own metaphor. If things went south for me in order aspects, I still had running to look forward to and it was always there for me to enjoy.

In 2017 I trained for and ran the Berlin Marathon, my 1st international one. I wanted to do all the world majors, especially NYC which I call home. I had ambitious goals: sub 5:00 min 1 mile, sub 18:00 min 5k, sun 1:30 half marathon and the elusive sub 3:00 and hopefully before I turned 30.

In 2018, during my buildup for a half marathon I began to notice a weird feeling in my right hamstring every time I attempted to go fast. There was this feeling of.. weakness that was hard for me to describe. I didn't think much of it at the time and continued on without much worry. I took some time off after that half and when I went back to running again, that weird feeling wasn't there anymore so I just kept going.

It was then that I found a running group. I never really ran with others up until this point but it expanded my world. Running now felt even better with others. I'm usually your textbook introvert but those endorphins turn me into a chatterbox, even with strangers who I've met for the 1st time and just shared a couple of sweaty miles with. It's even how i met my 1st girlfriend. After runs we go for brunch and it was a rinse and repeat every weekend. I've never felt a sense of community before this and I was so happy I found it.

However, that weird weakness feeling in my right leg came back.. again I didn't pay much attention to it and just rolled with it from 2018 to the summer of 2019. It only happened when I ran fast so I just went slower and was okay. It bothered me that I couldn't train for speed effectively though. I went to a primary care sports medicine doctor to get it checked out and they didn't find anything wrong with me in x ray imaging. I was dealing with other overuse injuries at the time so t

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2677728/How-legs-does-kangaroo-FIVE-Tail-used-extra-limb-drive-creatures-forward-claims-study.html

So kangaroos actually use their tail as a 5th leg and not just a supporting stand, huh? And the tail even produces as much force as the legs and arms combined. That is just cool. So vertebrates walking on their tail like a leg is actually plausible

BUT WAIT, this doesn’t mean “WOOHOO BIGSMOKE FINALLY LOVES SERINA AND APPRECIATES SHEATHER NOW OH YEEEAH” no I still don’t and will NEVER. Nor does that mean Sheather’s tripodal guppies are plausible, cuz they aren’t. Here’s why

Kangaroos are the only known animals to do this, and kangaroos are mammals, meaning they’re super super highly-derived descendants of Tiktaalik

Now this isn’t to say that an extinct different species of mammal, reptile, maybe even an ornithischian or sauropodomorph dinosaur, or whatever could’ve evolved this trait before kangaroos did tho. That’s true. But these animals are still super highly-derived descendants of Tiktaalik nonetheless

So all this means that an early semi-aquatic transitional form just can’t evolve this super highly-derived trait in such a short time span. Which is what Sheather’s guppies did, and why they’re very implausible

So technically, tripods aren’t possible. But pentapods are. It means that a tetrapodal animal can secondarily evolve to become pentapodal. Or a bipodal animal can one day repurpose its tail into a kangaroo tail-like leg and become a tripod. But cuz it first began as a tetrapod or bipod, it terms of classification, it’s not a Tripoda

The only plausible case of a vertebrate walking on its tail like a leg, that I’ve seen yet in spec evo, is this little green pentapodal placoderm by ComplicatedStarman / u/FlavoredKlaatu. The Spiny warduck https://www.deviantart.com/complicatedstarman/art/Interdimensional-Placoderm-Extravaganza-III-870613271. A tetrapod that secondarily became pentapodal. Meaning it’s an already derived enough species in the first place, so it was able to evolve such a highly-derived trait

Important stuff to note:

-The tip of the kangaroo’s tail that touches the ground and serves as a “foot”, faces back, meaning the underside of the tail is what’s touching the ground. Like it should. But in Sheather’s guppies, the “foot” faces the front, meaning the tail tip bent and the upperside is what’s touching the ground. Which is very wrong, making his tripodal guppies all the more im

Back home, we have eight orders and 33 families totaling up to 512 species of sharks. On Great Lakes Earth, the longer Paleocene-Eocene Thermal Maximum wiped out three-quarters of the shark species, including 100% of Hybodontiformes (lumptooth sharks), Heterodontiformes (bullhead sharks), Hexanchiformes (frilled and cow sharks), Lamniformes (great whites, baskers, megamouths, threshers, sand tigers, goblins and crocodile sharks) and Carcharhiniformes (tigers, bulls, blues, weasels, houndsharks, catsharks and hammerheads). The remaining orders—Orectolobiformes (carpet sharks), Pristiophoriformes (sawsharks), Squaliformes (dogfish) and Squatiniformes (angelsharks)—now had plenty of room to expand and diversify. Whereas we have identified only 512 species of shark, we have identified 3,660 species on Great Lakes Earth. This higher number is not just because of the fact that they are far, far, far more common on fresh water and deep water than back home, it’s also because they occupy niches filled back home by some of the bony fish.

ORECTOLOBIFORMES (Lungsharks, wobbegongs, blind sharks, nurse sharks, bamboo sharks and kukri sharks, 834 species)
This order of sharks is pretty conservative compared to back home—the vast majority of them are sluggish bottom-dwellers. One family in particular, Orectolobidae, the wobbegongs, make up 100 species and 31 genera, doing very well in a world without the sharks’ closest living relatives, the rays. Even the kukri sharks, named for how recurved their teeth are, are confined to munching on bivalves and barnacles.

267 species within the order are called “grouper sharks” because of their stout bodies and huge mouths. They are not what you’d call built for speed or long-distance travel, therefore confined to the coastal waters of the Pacific and Indian oceans, and even right in the Tethys Sea. The largest known species is the hujiao of Asia, averaging in at eight feet long and 880 pounds. There are currently two families of grouper sharks, but before the Miocene-Pleistocene Cold Snap, there used to be five.

Back home, this order is where we’ll find the epaulette shark, a species that can survive on dry land by slowing down their breathing and heart rates and powering down their brains. To seal the deal, their fins are modified into something that act more like legs, so they walk rather than swim. However, the epaulette shark’s survival strategy has a one-hour lim

In all of my previous posts about Outside, I’ve mostly focused on vertebrate and arthropod builds. This is pretty typical of guides like this, and it’s not hard to see why. These two groups emerged at the top of the animal meta almost immediately after the Cambrian Explosion patch, which established the current line-up of major factions, and although which faction is #1 and which is #2 has switched a few times since then, they’ve remained the clear top two ever since. And not only are these two groups the most successful in the animal meta, they’re also generally the most interesting. Whereas most of the major factions in Outside have a very simple playstyle that all the members stick to pretty closely, vertebrates and arthropods each have a huge variety of builds that differ radically in build design, stat spread, ability kit and overall gameplay. However, when it comes to the open ocean server, there’s one guild in the mollusc faction that has been able to compete on a nearly even footing with the best of these top two factions for millennia, and has single-handedly elevated molluscs from a complete joke to probably the third most dominant faction in the game. I’m referring of course to the cephalopods, the guild that includes the squid, octopus and nautilus. This guild is known for having some of the most bizarre build specs out of all Outside’s high-tier characters. In fact, the cephalopod’s build design is so strange that there’s a fan theory suggesting octopuses are actually not molluscs at all, but builds from the outer space server that somehow managed to find a way into the Earth meta. So today, I’m going to take a look at just what is so strange about the cephalopod build and how their weirdness has elevated them so far above other non-arthropod invertebrates. What abilities have made cephalopods so viable? And what varieties of cephalopod are best?

Cephalopods are one of the oldest animal guilds in all of Outside, having been introduced all the way back in the Cambrian expansion around 520 million years ago, when some mollusc players decided to drop feet from their build and spec into tentacles instead.. The meta of Outside was in something of a state of anarchy at this point, as the expansion had started with an unprecedented upheaval in which nearly all of the current major factions were added to the game, and players were trying all kinds of bizarre new strategies to try and take control of the chaos. Most of the weirder strategies faded fro

Backstory: a Blank human taken off the streets and wiped of his memories before going through cybernetic implants and training to be the perfect bodyguard/assassin.

Race: human cyborg

Height: 5 foot seven

Appearance

Weight: without the vertebral armor 210 pounds, with armor, 284 pounds

Passives:

Blank: A Blank is a being born with a specific gene that gives them the capacity to affect the underlying psychic fields of all living creatures, and not have such a psychic field themselves. Blanks appear as a non-being to psychics, a non-presence. Any psionic ability is doomed to fail against a Blank, their thoughts a fortress, their minds a bulwark against psionic capacities. Furthermore, the interference created by a Blank for psychics also affects their powers, dampening them, often making them fail.

Auto resists psychic abilities and has a auto roll with a +3 to resist magic abilities, psychics have a minus two to attack rolls when in melee range

Actives:

None

Equipment:

Vertebral Armor: a highly specialized armor that’s downloaded into a cyborg and teleported to them, highly durable and boosts speed

+2 to initiative and +1 to strength rolls

• APS: All Purpose Swords, not particularly good at anything but are decent enough

• Aeroblade: Although it heavily resembles a longsword, the Aeroblade is in fact a machine more similar to a turbine: by using the built-in air processor inside of its frame, it can cut like any sword using the pressure of the sheathing and unsheathing of the blade

Demos can also slice the air, and a wave of very sharp air comes out of the sword in the direction it was sliced in for up to 50 meters. The cutting power of the weapon is strong enough to tear an human clad in armor to shreds.

-2 to enemies reacting to being attacked by this blade due to how fast it attacks

• Bloodwire: Bloodwire threads are formed by diamond sharp wire synched with the user's blood. They posses the ability to strangle or simply slash any targets. They are durable, yet expendable, and have the advantage of being a ranged weapon.

Allows for ranged grappling, enemies grappled by this take constant damage

• Boomknives: Inspired by the WWII Trench knives, the Boomknives are a pair of brass-knuckles, each containing a short, sharp dagger, perfect for close-quarters combat. They have a built-in pressurized ejector for the blades, allowing them to be ejected out and fired at somebody via squeezing the knuckles hard enou

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

I would have a daughter

Terrestrial vertebrates on Earth all have similar body plans based on the evolution of the tetrapod lineage. While arguments can be made that four (or fewer) legs are optimal for large organisms ultimately the fact their ancestors (e.g. tiktaalik) had two sets of paired fins fixed the number of limbs. Is this arrangement inevitable for alien life too?

On another post I suggested that this situation could perhaps be avoided if terrestrial life went straight from living in the water to living in the trees. Maybe a planet has much stronger tides than on Earth and extensive mangrove swamps dominate the coastline for many miles. What body plan would be best adapted to an amphibious lifestyle among the mangrove roots though?

The mangrove killifish can stay out of out water for many days but it doesn't appear to have four legs. Would a many legged worm-like form like arthropleura be better? What about multiple tentacles like a squibbon for rapid arboreal locomotion? Perhaps a simple snail's foot is adequate?

I think I'm leaning towards something akin to a chiton with spiny shells like a scorpion conch for a spine along with cuttlefish tentacles and perhaps an extended two lobed foot like a plough snail. That would seem to give a range of options for terrestrial clades that look nothing like Earth tetrapods but are instead mollusc-vertebrates.

Does anyone else have thoughts on this or are tetrapod aliens the most popular?

Capital of Ireland

It's Dublin everyday

Here is a bunch of info pulled from these sites: one, two, three, four, five. I've tried to collect it into sections so that the same subject across all the sites is all in one section. There's ---- dividers between large chunks of different sites, but I couldn't insert that for every citation.

Spinal damage isn't so simple either.

It seems that it's called segmental instability, aka spinal sublux and dislocation. It happens all along the spine, and comes in degrees, it's not "just" in the form of "dying/paralyzed". All the following stuff is what can happen with EDS spinal issues/instability:

[My comments beyond here in these brackets]

Segmental instability refers to hypermobility or greater than normal range of motion between two vertebral motion segments. Segmental Instability of the spine is an abnormal amount of motion, hypermobility, across two vertebral body sections. This hypermobility can be when one vertebral body shifts forward, shifts backwards, or sideways causing an abnormal spinal alignment. [Degenerative disc disease makes this worse, and us EDS people are prone to that.]

Symptoms of Segmental Instability

Symptoms depend on the severity and location of the spinal instability. Symptoms can include pain, discomfort, stiffness, or muscle spasms in the low back. Symptoms of radiculopathy may appear including numbness, tingling, pain, or weakness in the legs. If the slippage is severe and causing detrimental pressure on the spinal nerves you may develop cauda equina syndrome. These symptoms may include loss of bowel or bladder control, urinary urgency, saddle anesthesia meaning numbness around the groin, difficulty with balance or walking. Cauda equina is a spinal emergency and if you are experiencing these symptoms seek immediate evaluation.

Diagnosing segmental instability

Although when evaluating patients we obtain a detailed medical history an

Hello everyone, sorry for the long rant. I feel better now after having written this. I decided to include a couple images that represent just some of the issues in my journey.

This is my Story

I want to start by saying that I am a complete newbie here. I created an anonymous profile because I hope that my conditions never prevent me from any opportunity in life; that is, not more than it already has directly.

I read the recent community guidelines that were updated and I don't think anything I am about to say violates them. If so at least I did my due diligence to respect the rules of this community beforehand.

One of my questions is slightly questionable, so I put it at the very end where I can easily remove it if required. Yet I think I am just being extra cautious out of respect.

Chronic Conditions
I am almost a half century old and I have worked really hard to build a foundation for my future. I am an honest man who has a positive spirit and a can-do attitude that is being eroded by my inability to find adequate pain control.

Two conditions dominate my ability to enjoy life; each of them advanced and proven through diagnostic imaging, labs and countless specialist visits. I will start with the "easier" one to live with and end it with the worst.

Severe Small Fiber Neuropathy

For the last nearly 20 of those years I have suffered from chronic peripheral neuropathy diagnosed with a triple biopsy. It has advanced proximally from my foot all the way up to the hip.

I have about 5-10 times less nerve cell density than that required for a confirmed diagnosis.

My hands and feet constantly feel like I am standing on or holding dry ice. Burning and stinging as if my body is trying to tell me that I am experiencing frostbite.

I have been through the circle of doctors we all end up seeing. They don't know the cause for mine and the high dose Lyrica that once worked offers little benefit.

This condition alone was and still is extremely disruptive to my life, but its nothing compared to my other source of hell; the spine.

Thoracic Spinal Fractures / Fusion #1 / and Surgical Mistakes
A couple years ago, I fractured several thoracic vertebrae. Although I am fortunate I can walk, I live as if I was paralyzed. Little did I know, very few surgeons operate on the thoracic spine and finding one who is also in-network with insurance didn't help.

It took a year to find a surgeon who could operate, b

http://m.imgur.com/ImM3RWz

But Bill kept the Windows

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

You officially hit rock bottom

K9P

No it doesn't.

Now it’s syncing.

Because he wanted space

Edit: Thank you for the awards.

He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"

I will find you. You have my Word.

She said how do you know he was headed to work?

“thank you for your cervix.”

Ectopistes migratorius, commonly the "passenger pigeon", is believed to have been at one time the most numerous vertebrate species in North America. The last one died in 1914. What would it take to bring this species back to the point where it would be self-sustaining?

We'd have to clone them. But I doubt we have carefully preserved genetic material -- as was used, for example, to clone a black-footed ferret last year. OTOH, we do have preserved skins & feathers of passenger pigeons. I've seen one at the Carnegie Museum in Pittsburgh; and there are others elsewhere.

Do we expect to be able to clone a passenger pigeon eventually from the genetic material we have?

Then we'd have to get them to breed and reestablish them in the wild. But this has already been tried. The extinction of the passenger pigeon did not come as a surprise. In the final years of the species there were attempts to get them to breed in captivity, which largely (or entirely?) failed. And in the wild, obviously they were not replacing their numbers. Much of that is ascribed to habitat destruction and hunting. I imagine the habitat situation is much worse now than it was in 1914. OTOH, we could probably avoid most of the hunting today. And we have learned a great deal about biology and ecology in the last century.

If we did clone them, would we expect to be able to produce a successful breeding population? Is it possible we could reestablish the in the wild again? What would need to happen to make this possible?

...sails are going through the roof.

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

A taxi

But now I stand corrected.

He thought homes were built, not born.

Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.

And then you will all be sorry.