Pun Request: Foot
I need to write a bit about "digital footprints" for a class.
I figured I should throw a few foot puns in to spice things up.
However, soon I found that trouble was afoot.
I'm starting to run dry and am close to being dead on my feet.
Can I get a few extra hands (and feet) to throw in some ideas?
Toe/heel/knee puns also welcome.
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︎ Jan 29 2014
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
π︎ 175
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︎ Jan 14 2021
What has five toes but isn't your foot?
My foot.
Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)
π︎ 20k
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︎ Sep 03 2020
You're a real foot
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︎ Jan 14 2021
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
π︎ 176
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Whatβs the best way to transport a giant foot?
π︎ 20
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︎ Jan 14 2021
I lost a few digits recently when something heavy dropped on my foot. Today I got prosthetics for them.
Comment below if youβd like to see photos of my faux toes.
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︎ Jan 21 2021
A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....
I can't believe it's not better.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
When my grandparents came over they said: βYou look like youβve grown a foot!β
I looked down to my feet, looked back up, and told them: βNo, I still have just two.β
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︎ Jan 05 2021
What was everyone saying about the photographer who got the prosthetic foot?
They got some new faux-toes
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︎ Jan 22 2021
What foot dont they make shoes for?
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Why did the foot stink at telling jokes?
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Going to the foot doctor tomorrow.
Don't often think about my feet. They are usually the furthest thing from my mind.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
What has 5 toes, but isnβt your foot?
π︎ 19
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I'm 6 foot 6 inches (~196cm) and I recently found the cause for my back problems.
Almost everyone looks up to me. Being a role model to that many people is a lot of weight for one to carry on their shoulders.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Foot massages,
they're good for the sole.
π︎ 21
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︎ Dec 17 2020
What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?
π︎ 3k
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︎ Aug 17 2020
Why was the Monarch only one foot tall?
π︎ 14
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︎ Dec 17 2020
My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"
Proud dad moment!
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Those people who refuse to date foot amputees?
They are lack toes intolerant.
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︎ Nov 22 2020
I thought I was being very clever but Iβve been known to put my foot in my mouth.
π︎ 15
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
π︎ 14
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Why do foot fetishist never win?
Because they love the taste of defeet.
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Today i learned about foot fungus
Talk about tripping on shrooms!
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Whats a foot long and slippery?
π︎ 34
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︎ Oct 24 2020
What do you say when your sister steps on your foot and breaks your toe in half?
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 16 2020
A guy got his foot stuck in a vat of milk.
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 19 2020
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 07 2020
I woke up at midnight to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor staring at me from the foot of my bed...
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 01 2020
I've invented a sandal for one legged people...
π︎ 4k
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︎ Dec 09 2020
I accidentally cut off most of my foot
π︎ 69
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︎ Aug 03 2020
What did the cell say to the other cell who stepped on its foot?
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 25 2020
I cut my foot whilst chopping wood
It was an axeident waiting to happen
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 12 2020
Earlier, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back. I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside..
So I decided to call a toe-truck.
π︎ 7k
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︎ Mar 03 2020
What's the hardest foot to buy a shoe for?
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 18 2020
I had a girlfriend in high school that I dumped when I found out she was missing a toe on her left foot...
I guess that makes me lack-toes intolerant.
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︎ Oct 11 2020
It's the opposite day and my friend challenges me in tic tac toe. when it's his turn, he grabs the pencil by his foot. I ask him why and he responds:
"I'm playing the toe tactic"
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I think the front of my foot has gone dead-asleep.
Now they are a bunch of coma-toes.
π︎ 47
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Why is 2+2= 5 like your left foot?
π︎ 30
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Americans: I broke my foot
The rest of the world: I broke my metre
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 12 2020
The guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died last week.
Turns out they had a lot of trouble putting him in his coffin. Because everytime they put his right leg in, he put his right leg out.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Nov 20 2020
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
π︎ 18k
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︎ Jun 22 2020
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.
I canβt believe itβs not better.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
A tub of margarine fell on my Foot last week
And it's still bruised, I can't believe it's not better.
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
π︎ 52
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︎ Oct 29 2020
What has 5 toes but isnβt your foot?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Why is the king only one foot tall?
π︎ 341
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︎ Jul 26 2020
What has 5 toes but isnβt your foot
π︎ 26
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︎ Oct 21 2020
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