My dad made me shudder with this one. I'm 22.

Me: You should be more careful where you put things. Dad: I wish they'd told me that twenty two years ago.

👍︎ 280
👤︎ u/mhanold
📅︎ Jan 07 2014
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What do you get when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?

An udder disaster

👍︎ 37
👤︎ u/Goodoboy30
📅︎ Mar 14 2019
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Reading maps is such a pain in the ass, but id be lost with out it
👍︎ 6
📅︎ Aug 16 2019
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My daughter has to screen the light from windows and doors in order to get ideas...

She shudders to think...

👍︎ 5
📅︎ Feb 05 2020
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My dog keeps shaking for no apparent reason

I'm afraid he might have... Barkinson's...

👍︎ 11
👤︎ u/Arm3tt
📅︎ Jan 12 2019
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How can you tell the camera on the shelf was afraid of the toaster?

Everytime he looked at it, it made him shudder (shutter).

👍︎ 4
👤︎ u/Kerlandays
📅︎ Sep 10 2019
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A classic groaner

Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.

The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary. So a group of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain. Not being dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent another delegation, this time led by the local priest. But alas, as they approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.

The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre. The Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain. The ogre saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre. The ogre laughed and replied:

"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

👍︎ 969
👤︎ u/hometown45
📅︎ Jul 15 2013
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