Cold Temperature Puns

A list of puns related to "Cold Temperature"

I don't care about how cold the temperature is!!

It's -273°C and I'm giving absolute zero fuks.

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👤︎ u/Pecfex_here
📅︎ Nov 05 2016
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I have to keep the temperature in my house warm at night because cold air gives me atheism attacks...

...it makes me Confucian all night long.

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👤︎ u/aqua_zesty_man
📅︎ Nov 27 2017
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I have started freezing different objects at -273.15°c and blowing them up. Seeing with items reacted differently.

I call it the 0k boomer experiment.

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👤︎ u/Anthonybrose
📅︎ Mar 17 2020
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The corner imgur.com/kQGZ0vq
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👤︎ u/shady_alley_groper
📅︎ Sep 17 2013
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Dad joked my sick girlfriend.

Girlfriend- Do you have any cold medicine? I really hope you do.

Me- I'm so sorry but I think all the medicine I have is room temperature.

Boom. Melted her face.

edit. Damn you swypos

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👤︎ u/pattymcfatty
📅︎ Mar 06 2014
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The air conditioning is too cold?

My classroom has air conditioning, but it only kicks in on warm days like today. When my fifth graders came in this morning, a couple immediately started complaining. "It's freezing in here!"

I had been waiting for this opportunity all year! I pointed to the corner of the room. "Well, if you're cold, you can go stand over there. The corner is 90º!"

The best part was the chorus of incredulous students shouting "really?!" who then went over to investigate. It wasn't until they pointed out that the temperature was same over there that they realized they had been duped.

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👤︎ u/spacecatapult
📅︎ May 07 2015
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Wife was not amused

Recently in my neck of the woods, we have been experiencing a cold snap. This morning, my wife set me up for a zinger.

Wife (dressing our 10 month old daughter): I don't know how to dress her.

Me: Shirt goes on the top half, pants on the bottom half.

Wife: No! I mean for the temperature!

Me: Oh! Honey I don't think the temperature cares what she wears today.

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👤︎ u/neocontra
📅︎ Sep 23 2014
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I've been an actual father for thirty years and at least one of the three at least once or twice a season still asks me what it's like out.

Is it nice out? It's so nice out I almost left it out. Is it cold out? I don't know. The temperature is so low I couldn't take it out. Is it hot out? I don't know. Ask your mom.

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👤︎ u/hypoppa
📅︎ Sep 07 2015
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Dadjoked by my friend.

Was driving to get food and it felt chilly so I asked my friend what the temperature was. He responded with "a measurement of how hot or cold it is."

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👤︎ u/dabakos
📅︎ Oct 20 2014
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Every time....

So I ask "why is it so cold out today?"

Every time the answer is "the temperature"

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👤︎ u/Naustad
📅︎ May 07 2015
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Every winter.

Person: It sure is cold out here.

Dad: Yeah, you can tell from the low temperature.

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👤︎ u/jaquetheduck
📅︎ Dec 28 2013
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An exchange between me and my dad during an especially cold winter a few years ago.

>DAD: You know why they're saying this winter is so cold? > >ME: Why? > >DAD: 'Cause I'm so coool. > >ME: Yeah, that's why they're blaming me for global warming -- 'cause I'm so hot.

To this day I try to break out "I'm so cool" or "I'm so hot" when someone complains about the temperature being at either extreme.

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👤︎ u/DabuSurvivor
📅︎ Jan 16 2015
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