Today’s Argyle Sweater had me… in stitches.
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDorkKnight53
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity

So I took it back to the store and they gave me another one free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gasballbutsmol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife said I shouldn’t wear the same sweater two days in a row...

I told her it was a cardAGAIN.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SufficientVariety
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I really hate wearing this wool sweater that my wife bought for me.

It makes me feel sheepish.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XIIXOO
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you steal a sweater?

You Jacket

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fkngerm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did 50cent say to his grandma after she made him a sweater?

G-unit?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHibernian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My daughter got me a β€œCanada β€œ sweater for Christmas... I asked why since we live in the USA?

β€œIt’s aspirational β€œ she said.

Ooooof...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleep_adict
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
If a highly skilled bird lands on your father’s sweater...

That’s a pro sparrow on your fleecy dad. Looking forward to a happy 2021!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the small pepper wear a sweater?

It was a little chili.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chef give a bird a sweater?

He wanted to make the duck confit.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopsGalaxy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that it takes 3 sheep to make one sweater?

Amazing, I didn't even know they could knit.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What are you when you perspire in a sweater

You become the sweater

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I read an article earlier that said it actually takes three sheep to make one sweater…

I didn't even know they could knit!

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a cop's favorite type of sweater?

A pullover.

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
The sweaters they gave to the photography students at my schoo
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebony_man
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Perfect for sweater weather

A friend of mine made a sweater out of alphabet soup and a needle.

I asked "how'd you manage that one?"

He said, "it was easy once I put together a string of letters"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BedHeadBread
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If your girlfriend borrows your sweater forever

Did she jacket?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cornelius_M
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: "Honey, have you seen my sweater"?

Wife: "I think you left it in the cardigan".

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyhottub
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My favorite Christmas sweater
πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the bartender put on a sweater?

She thought it was a little drafty.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the klepto only knit metal sweaters?

He had to...Steel wool.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fonebone45
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did 50 Cent say to his grandma after she knitted him a sweater?

Gee you knit!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was picking feathers off my sweater...

and turns to me and asked, "have you been cheating on me with a bird?"

So I look at her right in the eye and said, "I swear... It was just a peck on the cheek."

She almost kicked me out of the house.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2014
🚨︎ report
For some reason, the cashier wanted me to steal the sweater I already owned..

She told me to swipe my cardigan.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeybaseball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I paid $20 for a $50 sweater.

Does discount?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonanza86
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: A turtleneck seller is to appear in court for selling his turtlenecks to the public, and just killing so many turtles. And sweater or not he wins, he was really a bad salesman.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BitGouda
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call Keanu Reeves when he has a Sweater on?

Keanu Sleeves

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thatsmoreweird
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A sweater can be an absolute ewe knit.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/felixswan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gambler's sweater?

A CARD-igan.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/monster6195
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I always get along with people wearing sweaters.

They’re so easy to warm up to.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kingkruti
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
My grandma made me a sweater

It was pretty knit.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papau_Dude
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A sweater I purchased was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one, free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dirtybirdal
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I once bought a sweater that was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DUIofPussy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A sweater I bought was picking up so much static electricity that I had to return it to the store.

They have me another one, free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The sweater I bought recently kept picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store

They gave me another one, free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The sweater I got for Christmas was picking up static electricity. So I went to the store to return it.

They gave me another one. Free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one, free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 343
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I got a new sweater for Christmas, but it was picking up too much static electricity

I returned it for a new one, free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Erikg1116
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a new sweater for Christmas, but it was picking up too much static electricity

I exchanged it for a new one, free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Erikg1116
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store.

They gave me another one free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tttulio
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The sweater I got last Christmas kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back to the store and exchanged it for another one…

…free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I read an article earlier that said it actually takes three sheep to make one sweater…

I didn't even know they could knit!

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2017
🚨︎ report
The sweater I bought from the store was picking up static electricity, so I went back to change it.

They gave me another one, free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
The sweater my kids gave me last Christmas kept picking up static electricity…

So I took it back to the store and exchanged it for another one…free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife bought me a sweater that was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.

They replaced it with a new one, free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I got a new sweater that kept picking up static electricity.

So I took it back and exchanged it for anotherβ€”free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 357
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.

I didn't know they could knit!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
The sweater my kids gave me last Christmas kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back to the store and exchanged it for another one…

...free of charge...

πŸ‘︎ 126
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
🚨︎ report

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