Todayβs Argyle Sweater had meβ¦ in stitches.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity
So I took it back to the store and they gave me another one free of charge.
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︎ Jan 14 2021
My wife said I shouldnβt wear the same sweater two days in a row...
I told her it was a cardAGAIN.
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︎ Jan 30 2021
I really hate wearing this wool sweater that my wife bought for me.
It makes me feel sheepish.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
How do you steal a sweater?
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︎ Dec 26 2020
What did 50cent say to his grandma after she made him a sweater?
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︎ Jan 23 2021
My daughter got me a βCanada β sweater for Christmas... I asked why since we live in the USA?
βItβs aspirational β she said.
Ooooof...
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︎ Dec 26 2020
If a highly skilled bird lands on your fatherβs sweater...
Thatβs a pro sparrow on your fleecy dad. Looking forward to a happy 2021!
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Why did the small pepper wear a sweater?
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Why did the chef give a bird a sweater?
He wanted to make the duck confit.
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Did you know that it takes 3 sheep to make one sweater?
Amazing, I didn't even know they could knit.
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︎ May 05 2020
What are you when you perspire in a sweater
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︎ Jun 22 2020
I read an article earlier that said it actually takes three sheep to make one sweaterβ¦
I didn't even know they could knit!
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︎ Apr 16 2020
What's a cop's favorite type of sweater?
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︎ Dec 15 2019
The sweaters they gave to the photography students at my schoo
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︎ Dec 13 2019
Perfect for sweater weather
A friend of mine made a sweater out of alphabet soup and a needle.
I asked "how'd you manage that one?"
He said, "it was easy once I put together a string of letters"
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︎ Jan 11 2020
If your girlfriend borrows your sweater forever
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︎ Mar 05 2020
Me: "Honey, have you seen my sweater"?
Wife: "I think you left it in the cardigan".
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︎ Jan 02 2020
My favorite Christmas sweater
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︎ Dec 21 2018
Why did the bartender put on a sweater?
She thought it was a little drafty.
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 14 2019
Why did the klepto only knit metal sweaters?
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 30 2019
What did 50 Cent say to his grandma after she knitted him a sweater?
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︎ Sep 02 2019
My wife was picking feathers off my sweater...
and turns to me and asked, "have you been cheating on me with a bird?"
So I look at her right in the eye and said, "I swear... It was just a peck on the cheek."
She almost kicked me out of the house.
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︎ Nov 20 2014
For some reason, the cashier wanted me to steal the sweater I already owned..
She told me to swipe my cardigan.
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︎ Jul 04 2019
I paid $20 for a $50 sweater.
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︎ Jun 19 2019
Breaking News: A turtleneck seller is to appear in court for selling his turtlenecks to the public, and just killing so many turtles. And sweater or not he wins, he was really a bad salesman.
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︎ Jan 06 2019
What do you call Keanu Reeves when he has a Sweater on?
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︎ Jun 29 2019
A sweater can be an absolute ewe knit.
π︎ 10
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︎ Oct 07 2018
What do you call a gambler's sweater?
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︎ Apr 18 2018
I always get along with people wearing sweaters.
Theyβre so easy to warm up to.
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 27 2018
My grandma made me a sweater
π︎ 9
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︎ Feb 22 2019
A sweater I purchased was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 12 2020
I once bought a sweater that was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge.
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︎ Aug 31 2020
A sweater I bought was picking up so much static electricity that I had to return it to the store.
They have me another one, free of charge.
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︎ Jul 27 2020
The sweater I bought recently kept picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store
They gave me another one, free of charge
π︎ 16
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︎ May 18 2020
The sweater I got for Christmas was picking up static electricity. So I went to the store to return it.
They gave me another one. Free of charge.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 27 2019
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
π︎ 343
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︎ Jul 28 2019
I got a new sweater for Christmas, but it was picking up too much static electricity
I returned it for a new one, free of charge
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 04 2020
I got a new sweater for Christmas, but it was picking up too much static electricity
I exchanged it for a new one, free of charge
π︎ 18
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︎ Jan 04 2020
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
The sweater I got last Christmas kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back to the store and exchanged it for another oneβ¦
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 20 2019
I read an article earlier that said it actually takes three sheep to make one sweaterβ¦
I didn't even know they could knit!
π︎ 3k
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︎ Nov 08 2017
The sweater I bought from the store was picking up static electricity, so I went back to change it.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
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︎ Aug 22 2019
The sweater my kids gave me last Christmas kept picking up static electricityβ¦
So I took it back to the store and exchanged it for another oneβ¦free of charge.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Dec 03 2017
My wife bought me a sweater that was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.
They replaced it with a new one, free of charge.
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︎ Jun 03 2019
I got a new sweater that kept picking up static electricity.
So I took it back and exchanged it for anotherβfree of charge.
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︎ Apr 12 2018
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
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︎ Jun 23 2019
The sweater my kids gave me last Christmas kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back to the store and exchanged it for another oneβ¦
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︎ Jul 05 2018
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