How do you steal a hoodie?

You jack-et

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👤︎ u/betchhxx
📅︎ Apr 23
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I have got a magical hoodie

I call it hoodieni

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👤︎ u/19lucio98
📅︎ Oct 02 2019
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The store told me they would sell me a hoodie with a hood that couldn’t close

They said they would sell it to me no strings attached.

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👤︎ u/MightBeATaco
📅︎ Mar 31 2019
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Why would Tom Hiddleston wear a hoodie and sunglasses?

He's trying to be Loki

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👤︎ u/I_am_Direwolf
📅︎ Feb 26 2018
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found on r/AskReddit
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📅︎ Jun 22
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Drill sergeants like wearing aluminum hoodies.

They're full metal jackets after all.

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👤︎ u/Pun-isher42
📅︎ Mar 09 2019
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I like wearing small hoodies,

They are just hard to pull off.

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👤︎ u/Lil_Ninja94
📅︎ Oct 27 2016
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What do you get when you cross LeVar Burton with Sylvester Stallone?

Reading Rambo.

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📅︎ May 27 2018
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Dad joked by my little cousin.

My little cousin is obsessed with Star Wars and knows way more than anyone I know; so I got him some Lego Star Wars sets and a dearth vader hoodie. Later that night he came up and says,

"How warm is the temperature inside a ton ton?"

"Uh, I'm not sure dude hot warm?"

"Luke warm..."

I've never been more proud of him.

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👤︎ u/laxerado1313
📅︎ Dec 24 2013
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A Dad stopped me in the middle of a thick crowd to lay this one on me

Yesterday was Opening Day (baseball) at Target Field (Minnesota). The first 10,000 or so fans received a free blue zip-up hoodie with "Twins" emblazoned on the front. It's a damn fine hoodie.

It's also packed on the stadium concourse. 40,123 attendees that day. As my husband and I are making our way through a dense crowd along the right field concourse, an older gentleman stops me in my tracks with this big grin and says, "Wow, that's a great sweatshirt! Where'd you get it?"

He was holding one in his hand.

His other hand was holding that of his wife, who was rolling her eyes pretty hard. I imagine that was neither the first nor last time he'd made that joke yesterday.

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👤︎ u/bachrock37
📅︎ Apr 14 2015
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Dad joked my Dad today.

He bought me some bulk work hoodies for my birthday.

Me: "These are so heavy and well made, thanks Dad"

Dad: "And they're water proof too!"

Me: "So how do I wash them?"

Any good?

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👤︎ u/lyndy
📅︎ May 11 2014
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So my dad joked my mum...

My dad is a night owl and my mum is an early bird, meaning he has a good few hours to plot and scheme his dadjokes...

Well the other evening, he decided to scare the living daylights out of my mum by drawing a face on a melon, stuffing it in a hoodie with rubber-gloves, shoes and jeans and posed it in our morning room.

Now my mum gets up real early, and walks around the house in a grumpy daze, grumbling, scratching and squinting and whatnot with a grim face looking for something to nag about, so you can imagine the sheer pride he (probably) felt wrapped up in bed with that dumb dadjoke grin from his "Hilarious prank", to hear a loud "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" coming from across the hall.

Needless to say i'm pretty sure she found something to nag about that morning.

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👤︎ u/Jacquamarine
📅︎ Apr 27 2014
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Dinner dad joke

So we just sat down at a pizza place and my dad is wearing a neon green hoodie from working as a parking lot attendant

Waitress: well your hoodie is really bright!

Dad: thanks! I just charged it up!

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👤︎ u/ATmotoman
📅︎ Dec 16 2013
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