I'm going to start a yacht building business in my attic
Sails should go through the roof
π︎ 196
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
Thereβs two old men sitting on their front porch when a dog comes up and starts licking itβs junk
One of the old men goes, man I wish I could do that.
The other says, you canβt do that. That dogβll bite you.
π︎ 56
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
I'm gonna start a German themed donut shop.
Any investors interested in backing Gluten Morgen?
Pretty proud of that one.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
What starts with an "e" and ends with an "e" with a letter in it?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
I havent read a book in ages. So i decided to start with a book of how clocks work.
π︎ 102
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
For the past five years, Iβve said that iβm going to start jogging, but I never have
Itβs starting to become a running joke at this point
π︎ 53
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
not to start any debate but..blue is cool.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?
π︎ 757
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.
π︎ 130
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
If I start to identify as an invisible man, does that make me a....
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
I'm trying to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum.
Just need help getting it off the ground.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
What do you say when your stationary bin starts moving?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
What starts with 'O' and ends with 'nions' and sometimes make you cry?
π︎ 51
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
My son told me he wanted to start a change collection.
I told him that makes a lot of cents.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
And just like that, 2020 won. Better start trainimg for the rematch in 12 months...it will be 2020 two.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Is it o.k. to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school...
....or, am I a really bad teacher ?
π︎ 65
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Since the start of the Covid outbreak I own the quietest bar in the land....
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure theyβre the same..."
"Then youβll have a match."
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
All the hair dressers all closed due to covid, so I start looking to the black market for a haircut
But I heard they were under cutting everyone
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
My friend starts vomiting after we played for hours
The game we played was hide and sick.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
What starts with a W and ends with a T.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
I really ought to start losing weight...
But, I've got too much on my plate at the moment.
π︎ 59
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
A good romance starts with a good friendship
And a bad romance starts with βra ra ah ah ah, ro ma, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la laβ
π︎ 64
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Before I start, I need to see if this thing works.
"Everyone named Michael stand up."
Assorted people stand up
"And that concludes the mike check."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
We Tried Getting Americans to Start Measuring Weight in Kilograms Instead of Pounds
But they were very cagey about it.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
Why did the Russians car not start?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
Why does βsecretaryβ start with secret?
Because of all their business affairs
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Heard the song "Don't Start Now" on the radio.
Told my kids: "If I have to listen to this song one more time, I am going to Dua Lipa off the roof".
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
my transgender son wanted to start on T....
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
How does a vampire start a letter?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
Iβm thinking of a word. Starts with P and doesnβt have an ending
π︎ 25
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
What starts with F and rhymes with yuck?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds...
...they will be subma-weiners.
π︎ 108
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
I have a knock-knock joke, but you have to start it...
Knock-knock.
>!Who's there?!<
Edit: my son told me this. I was confused at why I had to start it and then cracked up when he said βwhoβs there?β
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
Feeling ugly? Work at a bee sanctuary and start helping the world! Everyone will think you are beautiful for that
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
π︎ 87
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
A non-conformist beggar starts preaching
"All of you are doing jobs to earn a living. Well, I beg to differ"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Today is the start of diarrhoea awareness week....
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Last month my doctor told me, "Bob, this is seriously urgent. You really have to start drinking less vodka."
I've been out to at least 40 different bars since then, but no one seems to carry that brand. Anyone know where to find it?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
What has three letters and starts with gas?
π︎ 607
π
︎ Jul 06 2020
When do people start making dad jokes?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
Once you start spreading lube on a child's slide, you won't be able to stop.
π︎ 80
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
I want to start a career as a counterfeit poetry books salesman, but I'm still undecided.
There's lots of prose and cons.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
Every day, my teacher starts her class by reading a joke from r/dadjokes, but today she is absent.
π︎ 25k
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
Good romance starts with good friendship
A bad romance starts with "ra ra ah ah ah. ro, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la,"
π︎ 134
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
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