Watching the movie ' Grease ' to take my mind off some vaccine side effects, however..
I got chills..they're multiplying.
Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
A guy asks Pinocchio if he wants to take a day off from working at Gepetto’s workshop to see a bonfire.
Pinocchio says, “I would, but I’m afraid of getting fired”.
So this plane takes off, am I right??
...I guess not every joke lands
i cant believe i got fired from the calendar factory, all i did was take a day off.
Why did the Soviet Union never take off?
Because they kept Stalin 🤠🤠🤠
I’ve been trying to solve a complicated maths question to take my mind off my constipation. Today, using only a pencil and sheer determination...
I was prescribed medication but couldn't take it. It was impossible to get that damn lid off...
You might have heard of it. It's called Tryopenin.
"Dad can you take your prosthetic off the table?"
"No, I'm trying to get a leg up."
(my actual amputee father)
How does a plumber take off his shoes?
A girl told me to take off her shirt and skirt
Then she told me to take off her heels and bra, then she told me to take her panties off. And then she told me to stop wearing her clothes
My wife hates when she takes off her dark socks and has fuzz between her toes.
She's black toes intolerant.
"Hey son, would you like to watch the airplane take off?"
My wife couldn't take her bra off.
How does a frog take off a bandaid?
I always take my mask off before going outside.
I'm afraid I'll wear it out.
Why couldn't the computer take its Hat off?
Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.
Edit- North of 4k upvotes, Thank You Kind Strangers.
I thought my airplane joke would really take off
But instead it just crashed and burned
Why did the Indian restaurant take their bread off the appetizer menu?
You know, I was gonna take off my socks
Today I couldn’t take my hat off.
I guess you could say it was in caps lock.
It takes a lot of balls to pull this off
Sometimes we take game spin-offs for grant-ed
My first pun on here. I really hope it takes off.
I had to take the brakes off my brand new car today.
They were just slowing me down.
Where do you take a dog when it’s tail falls off?
I have posted about 10 puns on this subreddit to see if they would take off.
I was about to make a pun about Planes but then i realised it would never take off
If you've seen this pun before i didn't copy it, it is Just an easy pun to think of.
Why will my dad take his glasses off as soon as the clock strikes midnight this New Year?
So he can say he now has 2020 vision.
My job lets me take a week off as long as I live at the Sigma Chi house and totally throw down with the bros.
It's paid fraternity leave.
What happens when Iron Man takes off his suit?
Take the day off camera, I’ll put on the 10 pounds on my self.
When flies take off their trousers do they start by undoing their humans?
Do they call the first episode of a show the pilot to see if it will take off?
My friend has this weird addiction where he walks into a room and takes the batteries off all clocks.
He claims he can stop it at any time.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
After struggling to take my wife’s bra off for 20 minutes, I finally decided to give up.
I’m now really regretting having put it on.
So do you think the glass coffin industry will take off?
People have a misconception that if you take the shell off snails, it will go faster...
But they just end up being sluggish.
Edit: Don't thank me, the wife laid this one on me just now. I told her was going to post this on reddit, she said we've run out of stamps.
An off duty cop lost his luggage at the airport. Luckily it didn't take him long to find.
You’re walking down the road and you feel something in your shoe. You take off your shoe and find a smaller shoe inside. What would be the only way to describe that?
My Math Professor takes days off from work by faking minor injuries.
I shouldn’t have taken a class with Dr. Fibin Ouchie.
I was prescribed medication but I couldn't take it. It was too hard to get the lid off. You might have heard of it...
Why couldn't the computer take its Hat off?
Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.
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