Pope puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadaverkitten94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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A female pope pun

I thought of this pun in class in university back in the late 90s, and I thought it was funny. I still stand by it, and will do so until I die.

We were discussing the conspiracy that there was possibly a female pope at one time in history. The professor asked how would they even know if a certain pope was female. How would they discover it?

I turned to the guy sitting next to me: "Maybe a Papal smear?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JacobasNile
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Which cheese is most likely to become the pope?

Swiss, it’s the holiest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LADboy_11
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Why wasn’t Cardinal Sicola ever elected as pope

Because they didn’t want a Pope Sicola

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Did you hear about the pope that wanted to be a ninja?

He was a blessing in disguise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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What do you get when the Pope takes a dump?

Holy Shit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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What do you call a day you spend with the Pope?

A holyday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Patrikkralj
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Pope decides on new measures to keep Cardinals on their toes.

He raised the Vatican urinals by 4 inches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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What does the pope use to send his blessings?

Pray-pal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hvr1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Why does the pope like swiss cheese?

Because it's holey....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshually
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Some people love cats, other people hate them. The pope is obsessed with them....

He’s a cat-a-holic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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What does the Pope say when he wants to bless a pack of cigarettes?

Holy smokes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicguy1982
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Why does the Pope love cats?

Because he's a catholic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stanoje0000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Do you know how many women have been pope?

Nun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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If the pope likes baseball where would he live?

The Batican

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedFish12094
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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I've seen most of the speeches that the Pope has made and they always seem rather pompous.

He's always pontificating...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeanLuc_Richard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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Why did the pope wear crocs to mass?

Because they're his holey shoes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GmanV357
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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So the Pope walks into a mosque...

and the Imam says 'Why the wrong faith?'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CpnCodpiece
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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β€œNope,” says the Pope.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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Why does the Pope hate fishing?

Because he has a holy boat.

Sorry, baby is due in January and figured it's time I start working on my dad jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewEnglandAlways
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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What do you call a pope who is addicted to cats?

Catholic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/379447984
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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How did the pope get the bird flu?

From the cardinal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMangsta
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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How does the Pope dry his hands?

He uses a Papal towel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinguzMcGhee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Why can’t the pope be cremated?

Because he’s still alive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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What is the pope's pet called?

Cat-hedral

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Viral_Idiot
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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Why did Popeye hate the Pope?

He went to Mount Olive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scubazz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Did you hear that the Pope has the avian bird flu?

He got it from one of the cardinals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clitbeastwood
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2016
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Have you heard about the pope's kitten addiction?

He's a catoholic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bgreenwood95
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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What do you call a pope that always pays you back?

Paypal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aHawtMocha
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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So once I was out in front of my house, and the mailman came by with a letter from the Pope. I looked at the man and was surprised to see that he was my brother.

He was my Father’s Son with the Holy Post.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brisingr2
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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How does the pope pay for stuff he wins on ebay?

... Papal.com

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adambikes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2014
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I heard the pope's toilet exploded the other day

Edit: Holy shit, this blew up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealtechnird
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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What did the pope do when a priest died?

It’s nun of your business

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πŸ‘€︎ u/conjar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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I found the pope wandering around in my yard...

he said he was just ROME-ing around!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PugMage101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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Pope John-Paul should've been succeeded by Pope George-Ringo
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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What do you call the Pope's poop?

holy shit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aashmeh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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The pope visited the Naval Academy this weekend...

It's a place of warship.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/purplereindeer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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What would you say if you had breakfast with the Pope?

Eggs, Benedict?

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
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Did you hear that the Pope is keeping all the Cardinals on their toes?

He raised the Vatican urinals six inches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Do you know how many women have been pope?

Nun

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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How did the pope get the bird flu?

From the cardinal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMangsta
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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