A donut walks into a church, approaches the priest and explains "Excuse me, Father, I don't mean to trouble you, but I'm very interested in joining the clergy."

"I was hoping that you could give me some pointers."

The priest, after taking a moment to accept the fact that he's speaking with a pastry, offers a warm smile in response.

"That is truly a noble calling." he says. "Most frequently, individuals who wish to become priests begin by growing active in their parish, then entering a seminary. While in attendance there, would-be clergy members work to excel in every regard, reaffirming their beliefs and devoting themselves to the path of righteousness. When the time comes, a given initiate will be ordained as a deacon, which will allow them passage to priesthood."

"That sounds like a very involved process." the donut confesses. "I'm not sure I have the time."

"If you don't mind me asking…" replies the priest. "What made you think you wanted to join the clergy if you're not willing to make a commitment to the process? Why do you want to be a priest at all?"

"Well…" the donut answers. "See, it's because I'm holey."

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Jesuit clergy and Benedictine clergy?

Jesuit clergy have Vatican Days, while Benidictine Clergy have Holland Days.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/quackdamnyou
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Just read a book about female clergy sports figures

That’s right. It was nun fiction

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ‘€︎ u/snuzet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I wanted to get married in Hawaii so we met with people from the church...

They weren't clergy; they were lei people.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My first official dadjoke

My first son was born late on Sunday night. My parents came to visit my family in the hospital today and my dad was telling me how they thought they had parked next to my car before they saw the parking spot was marked "Clergy Only".

I told him I could park there because I was a Father now.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Slightly offensive dadjoke at work

This one was about two years ago, but it was one of my favorite memories of work due to the reaction it got. There's a little bit of a setup/backstory for this.

I landed a job at the local Sam's Club before it opened, so I, along with the other associates, was to attend a credit training event at a very nice bank in town.

There were probably 30 or 40 in the class and most of us knew each other pretty well because we had spent the past few weeks 'blitzing,' or selling Sam's Club memberships at Walmarts in the area.

Anyway, the credit guy (his name fails me) was giving a powerpoint presentation on the ins and outs of the Sam's credit accounts. At one point, he said that for pre-approved members, a piece of paper called a 'chit' will print out. There were a few chuckles and he smiled and said "yeah, I know," and carried on.

Then I raised my hand.

He called on me, and I began: "So if a church with a business membership is pre-approved, who's responsible for applying? A church accountant or one of the clergy or something?"

"Yes, whoever owns the account itself."

"Would that be considered a 'holy chit?'"

The class erupted in laughter and one associate even left the room because she was laughing so hard. I saw one of the managers in class with us had his head buried in his arms laughing to the point of tears.

Probably my finest moment.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalJunkie101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.