A priest, a rabbit and a minister...
πŸ‘︎ 357
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dxdavidcl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"

πŸ‘︎ 736
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomCanBe
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar...

The rabbit says, β€œI think I might be a typo.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank...

The rabbit says, β€œI think I might be type o.”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jigglytep
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
Why did the priest wear his old jeans to the service?

Because they were holey

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/South_Island
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister go to a blood drive

The rabbit says β€œI’m pretty sure I’m a type-o”

πŸ‘︎ 586
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drsfmd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender says to the rabbit, "What can I get ya, sir?" The rabbit says, " I have no idea. I'm only here because of Autocorrect."

πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wB68
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
I didn't pay my priest for the exorcism

I was repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Philip_McCrevasse
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
I just saw a priest blessing an avocado...

Holy guacamole.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
A rabbit, a priest, and an elder walk into a blood bank

The rabbit says, "I think I'm type-o."

Technically it's a mom joke since my mother-in-law told me....but I still laughed a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KittyeThePhotog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, β€œWhat’ll ya have?” The rabbit says...

β€œI dunno. I’m just here because of autocorrect.”

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vibccanman
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood drive.

The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O."

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
I just found out that my friend has a secret life as a priest.

It’s his altar ego.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
How do you know priests like vegetables?

Because they always say: β€œpeas be with you”.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wimple007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
A priest is sitting at a bar when a rabbi shows up. The rabbi says,

"well I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doctor_Oceanblue
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Why don’t catholic priest talk about molestation in the church?

It’s a touchy subject.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dose172
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Catholic priest that becomes a lawyer?

A Father in law.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alexshinoda117
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
What did the priest say when he saw the image of Christ in a cheese?

Cheese is Christ!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WD40911
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
How is a priest like a dog?

Each wears a collar and pants.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
The priest always skims through the bible on surface

Because the devil is in the details

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
A Priest, an Imam, and a Rabbit walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "I think there's a typo hare".

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
My son just became a priest!

Do I call him father?

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sagbon98
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
A priest walks into a bar.

He says ow and rubs his head.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theheroofunicycle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
A Catholic priest, a Baptist preacher, and a rabbit walk into a bar.

There rabbit takes a look around the joint and says, "I'm beginning to think I'm a typo."

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunn_with_this
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
I asked a priest how do you make holy water?

He said you have to boil the Hell out of it

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
What do priests eat with their curries?

Nun bread

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
My lesbian friends wanted a Full House themed wedding, but the priest refused.

He didn’t want to marry Kate and Ashley.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
So a penguin, a priest and a giraffe walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says:

What is this, some sort of a joke?

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
How do you tell a priest to stay safe?

Tell him to exorcise caution

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Watermelencholy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar.

The rabbit orders a beer, looks at the other two and says, "I might be a typo".

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rafapex
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
What do priests and podiatrists have in common?

Saving soles!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/halluxbigtoe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
A large gathering of priests and nuns arranged themselves to form an image of Christ visible from space...

But it wasn't for altruism of course, they all stood to make an enormous prophet.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phryxil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
What did the priest say when he saw that the church was on fire?

Holy Smokes!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
I asked my priest for advice

My buddy has a bad back so I often go over his house to help his wife with yard work or moving furniture, etc. Currently, were all home because of the quarantine so it seems like the perfect time to get some things done.

Well, I've been isolated for a week and I have no reason to think I've been exposed, but I was a little anxious cause I have had a bit of a scratchy throat these past two days.

So I asked my priest if he thought it was okay to go over and help my buddy's wife with some yard work.

He replied, "do not covid your neighbors wife."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RangerHikes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
Why did priests heal wounds before doctors?

They're men of the clot.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MoffKalast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
What is a priest's favorite song?

I got 90 nun problems

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
A man was leaving the grocery store when he tripped and fell into a puddle. β€œJesus Christ, God Almighty!” he exclaimed. At the same moment, a priest was nearby and said β€œWhat did you say?”

The man responded, β€œCheese and rice, got all muddy!”

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boilerup4444
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
Al pastor, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar

The al pastor says, "I think might be a..." The bartender cuts him off, "Hey, no outside food allowed."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RO-Red
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
A priest, a minister, and a vampire walk into a blood bank...

The vampire says, β€œWhere's the rabbit?”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/magoghm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

πŸ‘︎ 367
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is a priests favourite number 3.14?

Because they are very pi-ous

πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
In what state do you watch a priest, sneeze, and sit down?

massachusetts.

It gets worse. My kids and I have a ton of these for different states. Should it be one thread?

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blurose262
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How do priests stay fit?

They exorcise

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenisbacK_1900
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
SLPT: If your priest or bishop is molesting your children, tell them to run away in a straight line as priests and bishops can only move diagonally. /r/ShittyLifeProTips/comm…
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Heisenberg4269
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
[At the wedding] Priest: Repeat after me...

Groom: After me..

Priest, looking at bride: Is he serious?

Bride: No, his name is Mike.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My local priest said he couldn't make it to dinner. He was busy exorcising our neighbours demons.

That's really nice of him. It's important that her demons stay healthy.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Went to a priest to tell him about my weekend he told me to do 20 hail marys...

20 hail marys? Who does he think I am Aaron Rodgers?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
What does a vegan priest say?

Lettuce pray.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fluffy91021
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a jewish priest who's also a mathematician?

A radii.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A priest, a cop and a firefighter walk into a bar...

You would’ve thought they would have seen it

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Great_fartacus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
A priest who is very conceited when performing a marriage...

has an altar ego

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boilerup4444
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are priests fat?

They have a lot of mass.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TuvoksDoRag
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?

Let us spray

πŸ‘︎ 165
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Carrocko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the priest refuse to learn trigonometry?

Because it is full of sin

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weetabix_gryphon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between priests and NASA?

Nasa haven't penetrated Uranus yet.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxaTron711
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don’t pay the priest for your exorcism?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeFindMeGilbert
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I stopped returning calls and texting back the local catholic priest...

You could say I holy ghosted him.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kotetsu454
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
So a rabbi, a priest, and Kermit the frog all walk into a bar

The bartender looks at them and says, β€œwhat is this a joke?”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/realswagmb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The priest at our church wanted to do something different with the place where sacrifices are made...

He decided to altar it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Priests that molest kids should be burned at the stake.

A bon-friar, if you will

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kindofaniceguy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is a Roman Catholic priest, great at his job - he absolutely kills it every Sunday.

He’s a mass murderer.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a place where a priest sells honey?

A beeshop

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phagocitosis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
If a priest is travelling at the speed of light...

does he still have mass?

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Priest: do you enjoy being a Heretic?

Heretic: I don’t just enjoy being a heretic, it’s a blasphemy!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Emeri5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a priest who is also a lawyer?

A father in law

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A donut walks into a church, approaches the priest and explains "Excuse me, Father, I don't mean to trouble you, but I'm very interested in joining the clergy."

"I was hoping that you could give me some pointers."

The priest, after taking a moment to accept the fact that he's speaking with a pastry, offers a warm smile in response.

"That is truly a noble calling." he says. "Most frequently, individuals who wish to become priests begin by growing active in their parish, then entering a seminary. While in attendance there, would-be clergy members work to excel in every regard, reaffirming their beliefs and devoting themselves to the path of righteousness. When the time comes, a given initiate will be ordained as a deacon, which will allow them passage to priesthood."

"That sounds like a very involved process." the donut confesses. "I'm not sure I have the time."

"If you don't mind me asking…" replies the priest. "What made you think you wanted to join the clergy if you're not willing to make a commitment to the process? Why do you want to be a priest at all?"

"Well…" the donut answers. "See, it's because I'm holey."

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I forgot to pay the priest's bill for my daughter's exorcism..

She got repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/luckydragon88
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My priest is a lawyer.

He's my father in law

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Philip_McCrevasse
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A priest, a rabbi, and a duck walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a priest who's also an attorney?

Father-in-Law.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ebarnhard1983
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the priest who crapped his pants?

Holy Shit

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?

The deep friar

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theblumkin
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A Priest walks into a bar

Then immediately walks out because he’s Mormon

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rarehipster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
TIL 3rd Age a Franciscan priest named Adelle, the head cook in the Mines of Moria, was known for his delicious tempura

He was rolling in the deep friar.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a priest on a motorbike?

Rev

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coleman_James
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
For the longest time I thought priest's collars were grey

I guess I'm just collar blind.

Thanks Michael Scott.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/space_bartender
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?

Lettuce pray.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DingoAltair
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
If a priest blesses an avocado

Would it be a holy guacamole?

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Inoune
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, β€œWhat’ll ya have?”

The rabbit says, β€œI dunno. I’m only here because of Autocorrect.”

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
A priest, a monk, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank

The rabbit says, "I'm a type O."

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/freshstart86221
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says β€œI think I might be a Type O”.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lez566
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
I just found out my friend has a secret life as a priest.

It's his altar ego.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mojo884ever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?

Let us spray.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How do priests stay fit?

They exorcise

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bease23
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A priest who is very conceited when performing a marriage has an altar ego.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boilerup4444
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

πŸ‘︎ 255
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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I just found out my friend has a secret life as a priest.

It's his altar ego.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/washcapsfan37
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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I just found out my friend has a secret life as a priest

It’s his altar ego

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GabeRothel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
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What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?

A father in law...

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2017
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