My daughter is leaving for college tomorrowโ€ฆ

I was helping my daughter pack her car today, getting ready to leave tomorrow morning. She had a set of plastic stacking drawers wedged into her car, but in getting it there, it had come apart some, so we had to take it out to tape it together better. There was a black plastic bag leaning against it, and in all the wriggling, the drawers tore a small hole in the plastic bag. After taping the drawers, I noticed a small piece of the black plastic stuck to the drawers. I took it off and tried to give it to my daughter, saying, "Here's your hole," but of course she didn't want it, so I put it (you see this coming already, don't you?) in my pocket, and said, "Now I have a hole in my pocket." Her eye-roll was hilarious.

(Does anyone else remember a similar bit from the "Yellow Submarine" movie?)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AlmostDisjoint
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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My dad's favorite spooky Halloween joke

My dad told me this the first time on Halloween night back when I was 9. He tells it to this day to any of my cousins, nephews, or any kids that happen to linger too long at the house when he's giving out candy. It's a long one but I have always enjoyed it.

Back when I was about your age, I went on a Halloween adventure. There was an old abandoned house on our street where a series of grisly axe murders had taken place years before. The house had never sold and was left vacant and was left to fall apart. There was a local legend that if you went into the house on Halloween night, you'd be confronted by the ghost of the murderer himself, still looking for more victims to add to his terrifying story.

My friend Tom and I decided to go through with it one year. Knowing everyone would be too terrified to go into the house, we snuck in easily on Halloween night. The place was falling apart inside, the carpet was wet and moldy and the wallpaper was peeling off everywhere. We headed down

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheG-What
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
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My dad's favorite.

A piece of string walks into a bar, the bartender looks at him and says "Sorry, we don't serve string around here" so the piece of string walks on. The string sitting on the sidewalk really thirsty jumps up and says "Hey! I've got an idea." so he starts twisting turning wriggling around pull out a few loose threads and walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously and says "Hey, aren't you that piece of string that walked in here a few minutes ago?" The string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jedijeo99
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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