A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.

The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"

"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest

For I have synonymed.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
A pastor, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank, and the nurse asks what blood type they are.

The rabbit says, β€œI’m probably a Type-O”

πŸ‘︎ 622
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmath12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
A pastor, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tribelawn
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
Why do skeletons make good pastors?

They’re impervious to the pleasures of the flesh!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hephsters
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
A priest, a pastor and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks what they would like to drink.

Then the rabbi says: "Just give me a tea, so I can become an overused joke."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DE-95
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
What does a pastor use when bugs get into his vegetable garden during the benediction?

Lettuce spray

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
A Pastor, a Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar...
πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtzee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A pastor, priest and rabbi walk into a bar
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tribelawn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A jewish pastor becomes a missionary...

...and ends up on the Island of Trid. The people there are starving and explain to the pastor that it’s because whenever they try to harvest the fruit at the top of the mountain, the nasty giant comes out of his cave and boots them all back down the hill. This infuriates the pastor who then declares that tomorrow he will join them on their next attempt. The next day they all march up the mountain together, and sure enough, out comes the giant who proceeds to kick all of the locals back down the hill leaving only the new guy to gather fruit at his leisure. Finally, he stops and asks the giant, β€œWell, aren’t you going to knock me off the mountain?”. Shaking his head, the giant says, β€œSilly rabbi, kicks are for Trids”.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5YearApril
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Master of Noneβ€’β€’β€’Pastor of Muppets
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My local pastor is a keen motor cyclist...

He's just bought himself a Holy Davidson.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
I was having dinner with two Pastors once.

I couldn't reach the food, so I said, "Excuse me Pastor, can you pass the pasta past the Pastor?"

(This actually happened, but it was kind of a letdown - they both just looked at me blankly, then resumed eating.)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I had my pastor bless a bottle of mercury for me.

I love my Christian Heavy Metal.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GerbilSpanker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when your local pastor smokes a blunt?

He becomes a high priest

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.

Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midas_1988
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is pastor of a church that has no divine historical figures with extraordinary spiritual and moral insight...

It's a not-for-prophet organization.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the pastor put butter in his bible?

So he could spread the word

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyrdrink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a marathon for Pastors?

A rev-run

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MNdwarf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My pastor wasn’t a fan of my new Jesus Riceβ„’

He said not to take the lords name in grain.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spyro4now
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My pastor friend refused to participate in a Full House themed lesbian wedding.

He didn’t want to marry Kate and Ashley.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Al pastor, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar

The al pastor says, "I think might be a..." The bartender cuts him off, "Hey, no outside food allowed."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RO-Red
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?

A romaine Catholic priest.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
The pastor wanted to pause for a moment of prayer this morning.
πŸ‘︎ 360
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naturallyjoy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pastor who got bailed out

Christian Bale

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisb9999
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one robot pastor say to the other?

How do we get them to byte, and chip in a few more CPUs on Sunday?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebaconsizzle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The pastor asked the congregation to skip verse 3 of the hymn,

but they refrained from that.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dutchraincloud
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I think my daughter has a crush on our pastor.

She talks about him religiously.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Enkage
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My old pastor was an outspoken advocate for Amazon.

I guess you could say he was a prime minister.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilsguy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the pastor say when a bunch of chickens flew into his backyard?

"It's raining hen, hallelujah!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikhilbhavsar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
🚨︎ report
what do you call a marathon for pastors?

a REV. RUN

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neadien
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the Lego pastor say to the congregation?

"Piece" be with you!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My pastor invited us over to watch The Walking Dead

...a documentary on the lives of Lazarus and Jesus

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I didn't know nuns could also be al pastor i.reddituploads.com/ba66d…
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YouGottaBeKitten
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the youth pastor show show his kids a horror movie?

To scare the hell out of them.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nerdican
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
🚨︎ report
So a man sees his pastor at a liquor store on Sunday...

A man sees a priest buying hard liquor on a Sunday at a shop down the street from the church the priest is the pastor of. Surprised, the man, who went to that church, asked why he was buying a 5th of Jagermeister.

The priest said, "it's an old catholic secret that Jagermeister helps ease constipation, which one of the nuns has.

So the guy shrugs and leaves, only to see the priest later that day, not halfway back to the church, drunk as a skunk in the gutter, tipping the brown paper bag with Jagermeister in it all the way back as he drinks it.

He pulls up in his car and asks, "I thought you said it was for a nun's constipation!?"

The priest grunted, "It is! She's going to shit herself when she sees me like this!"

I'm posting this, my grandfather's joke, in honor of him passing a few months ago.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/im_from_detroit
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2015
🚨︎ report
My Pastor Told Me a Dad Joke

My best friend's dad is my Pastor, I was talking to my Pastor (whose name is Malcam) about being George Washington in class today, he replied with

"I was named after George Washington!"

"How?"

"He was named in the 1700's, I was named in the 1900's."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IamBatman777
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2016
🚨︎ report
Pastor dad-joked the congregation..

My pastor was talking about the influences of mothers in our lives... He proceeded to talk about how his daughter danced and had pleased Herod, and he offered her anything she wanted, up to half the kingdom. The dancer consulted her mother, who said she should request John the Baptist's head.

This, he informed us, is how to get a head in life.

Dad tears were present.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jman4647
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2014
🚨︎ report
What car does the pastor drive?

A Prius-t

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maxdoss
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2016
🚨︎ report
My grandpa--a retired Methodist pastor--dropped this one last night

"You know why bees buzz, don't you?

"No. Why, Papa?"

"Well, you'd buzz too if somebody stole your honey and nectar!"

He's 80.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jurassichrist
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
🚨︎ report
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic

The nurse asked the rabbit: "what is your blood type?" "I'm probably a type O" said the rabbit.

πŸ‘︎ 154
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked in to a blood donation clinic.

The nurse asked the rabbit: "What is your blood type?"

"I am probably a type O" said the rabbit.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mick_NYC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk in to a doctors office...

...the nurse asks the rabbit, β€œwhat blood type are you?”

The rabbit says, β€œI’m probably a type O.”

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kitten-McSnugglet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest...

For I have synonymed.

πŸ‘︎ 145
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a marathon for pastors called?

A Rev-run.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_PROkofiev_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A Priest, a Pastor, and a Rabbi walk into a bar...

The bartender looks up and says, what is this some kind of joke?

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fonz136
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report

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