A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?

The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"

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👤︎ u/TheMeeme
📅︎ Mar 06 2021
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A Catholic priest, a Baptist preacher, and a rabbit walk into a bar.

There rabbit takes a look around the joint and says, "I'm beginning to think I'm a typo."

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👤︎ u/dunn_with_this
📅︎ Feb 21 2020
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What do Kermit the Frog, John the Baptist and Vlad the Impaler have in common?

Same Middle Name

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👤︎ u/Kerlandays
📅︎ Jul 30 2019
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I drove by two First Baptist Churches today.

One of them is lying

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👤︎ u/The_Nightman_82
📅︎ Sep 09 2019
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John the Baptist

John the Baptist of Biblical fame used to walk through the desert in his bare feet. This left his feet tough, which is understandable- the hot sand and rough terrain would leave anyone's feet tough. He was known to receive signs from God and occasionally perform mystical feats. He subsisted on a diet of locusts and honey. Without access to dental hygiene at the time, this left him with somewhat bad breath. It also left him frail, as the diet wasn't varied and would have required an immense intake of food to be remotely sustained.

I guess that you could say that he was a super-callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

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👤︎ u/edpeters1
📅︎ May 04 2017
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How does a muslim close a door?

Islams it

👍︎ 92
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👤︎ u/tadatyaba
📅︎ Apr 19 2021
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Who is the best person to take with you fishing?

Annett.

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👤︎ u/zachpledger
📅︎ Jul 01 2017
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A son asks his father for a new car for his birthday...

Son: Dad, I turn 16 in a few months and would really like a car for my birthday.

Father: Well son, I’ll make a deal with you. If you do three things for me, I’ll get you the car. First, you need to improve your grades. Second, I want you to see you in church every Sunday. And finally, I want you to cut your long hair.

A FEW MONTHS PASS

Son: Dad, next week is my birthday and I’ve done everything you asked. Can I get a car?

Father: I did notice you got straight A’s on your report card and I’ve seen you at church every Sunday. But you didn’t cut you hair. I told you to cut your hair.

Son: I wanted to talk to you about that. In bible study I learned that Moses, John the Baptist, and Jesus all had long hair.

Father: Yes they did. And they walked everywhere they went.

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👤︎ u/Blake4Bama
📅︎ Feb 10 2019
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Pastor dad-joked the congregation..

My pastor was talking about the influences of mothers in our lives... He proceeded to talk about how his daughter danced and had pleased Herod, and he offered her anything she wanted, up to half the kingdom. The dancer consulted her mother, who said she should request John the Baptist's head.

This, he informed us, is how to get a head in life.

Dad tears were present.

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👤︎ u/Jman4647
📅︎ May 11 2014
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My grandpa was the greatest jokester.

Back in April, me and the young men &a women of my family helped move my grandparents out their house, a house they had lived in for almost 45 years, into a small, 1-bedroom add-on to my uncles land.

Now, my grandpa had been a Baptist pastor for 47 years (now retired) and he was always quick on wit.

Well, as we were moving out the garage. My brother noticed something glued to the ground by some kind of resin. A piece of paper, looked almost 30 years old. We found out it was a sermon that my grandpa had preached way, way back in the day. And someone had spilled some kind of oil and that had gotten stuck to it and preserved it over the years. We brought my very frail grandpa out into the garage and told him what it was. He stared at it for about 5 seconds and said "Well, I guess that's one of my sermons that stuck!"

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📅︎ Dec 08 2013
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