An anthropologist was cataloging south american folk remedies with the assistance a local tribal elder who indicated the leaves of a particular fern were the best cure for constipation. The anthropologist had doubts.

But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
The Elder Scrolls
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/morphotomy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do the elders do ?
πŸ‘︎ 225
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πŸ‘€︎ u/homodemen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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A rabbit, a priest, and an elder walk into a blood bank

The rabbit says, "I think I'm type-o."

Technically it's a mom joke since my mother-in-law told me....but I still laughed a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KittyeThePhotog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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The Elder Scrolls
πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Pip
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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The Elder Scrolls
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSp00ky
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
[OC] A elder duck hunter: β€œSon, if you are not meeting your quota of 100 ducks per day,

you are probably aiming too high.”

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/citizenvane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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elder scrolls
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-litl-snek-
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the name of the Elder God of Glass?

C'thru'lu

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slirpflerp
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the elder chimney say to the young chimney?

"You're too young to smoke!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XLeoInTheDarkX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
🚨︎ report
TIL that the first recorded sandwich was made by the famous rabbi, Hillel the Elder, who lived during the 1st century B.C.

Whoops wrong Sub.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrSuperZonic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
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Elders react Dadjoke

Commenting on Paul McCartney

"God that guitar player, he's going to go a long way, I got a feeling"

https://youtu.be/ytlqn8Da7bY?t=1m16s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bopodogo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2015
🚨︎ report
The Elder Scrolls

How about a graphical meme for a change?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hanxue
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Where did elderly ancient Egyptians gather?

In the great pyramid of geezer

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Muppet_Cartel
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Don't ever try to explain drones to the elderly

It just goes right over their heads

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
An elderly inventor was becoming depressed with his life: his hearing was failing, his wife was always nagging him, he hadn't invented anything good in years, and his former good looks had been replaced by wrinkles and sagging skin.

He goes to the doctor to discuss his depression. When he arrives back home he has a huge smile on his face. He rushed past his wife and heads into the basement, where he immediately starts tinkering with a brand new invention.

His wife comes downstairs, gives the invention a once-over, then asks "What on earth is this thing, and how this supposed to help your depression?".

"Honey, the doctor told me working on this should have me feeling better in no time!" replies the man. He then proceeds to describe in detail how the machine cracks eggs, steams them, and flips them out onto a plate in under a minute, all at the touch of a button.

"But what on earth does this have to do with your depression? What did that quack doctor tell you to do?" asks the wife

The man replies: "He told me to work on my self egg-steam".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicferret
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I've offered my elderly neighbour $20 to try out her stair lift.

I think she's going to take me up on it.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
There were a group of elderly people say with their phones.

They repeatedly tapped their screens... Read more

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the one thing the elderly T-Rex wished it didn't catch?

Dino-SARS

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xViability
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Lunar new year in Vietnam is celebrated with lion dances, dragon dances, fireworks, family gatherings and meals, ancestor worship, and giving red envelopes to children and the elderly.

Thank you for coming to my TαΊΏt talk.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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My elderly neighbor had some landscapers take care of his lawn every weekend for several years. Recently, he hired a new crew, but forgot to fire the old crew. So this weekend they both showed up to mow his lawn, and got into a fight over who should be there.

He had no idea he had started a turf war.

πŸ‘︎ 536
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flash17k
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an elderly Spanish man?

A senΓ΅r citizen

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cinnabumbum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...

How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Siddhartha Gautama Showed Up And Asked for Some Vegetables....

The village elders looked at him and asked, "Didn't you just start your own religion? Ask your followers instead!"

He said, "No problem, I'll be back tomorrow."

The next day he showed up and asked for some bread.

The village elders looked at him and asked, "Doesn't your religion disavow physical needs? Transcend your hunger instead."

He said, "No problem, I'll be back tomorrow."

The next day he showed up and asked for some meat.

The village elders looked at him and asked "Doesn't your religion espouse vegetarianism? You should be asking for bread and vegetables instead."

He said, "I already did, but no problem..."

Finally, the elders called the village guards to get rid of that Hungry Buddha Pest.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorGarfanzo
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
(scrolls elderly)
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tmanrocks717
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an elderly rabbit?

Harold.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Insonarc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A teenage girl came across an elderly man sitting next to his radio, tapping his cane to a Lil Wayne song.

"Wow! I didn't think you'd like rap music!"

"I didn't, either," the old man replied. "It all started after my hip op".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kleefband
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Once, there was an elderly Italian who taught others to use mint in their cooking.

He gave sage advice.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LthlPnc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How did Pixar decide on a name for the movie about an elderly man who attached balloons to his house?

They made it Up.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dontstoprock
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call your elderly male relative who’s always taking pictures?

Papa Razzi

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/42alj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hot dog. She walks to the nearest hot dog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst...

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

β€œExcuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

β€œIt’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. β€œI’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

β€œYa see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Tell your kids to give grandpa his glasses back

They really need to learn to re-spec their elders

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timaeus_L
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Two elderly women were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. One woman has a stroke.

The other couldn’t reach.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats the most dangerous season for elderly people?

Fall.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sdtertodi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Ozzy Osbourne was giving an elderly woman a piggyback, but he dropped her...

That old lady was off her rocker!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I want to push you around, yeah I will. I want to push you down, yeah I will. I want to take you for granite, yeah yeah yeah...

Rob Thomas volunteers to help the wheel chair bound elderly remodel their kitchen.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_LumberZack_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call an elderly man who is always shouting?

Old Yeller

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshandthewolf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad joked by an 81-year-old woman

I had an elderly patient today who was visibly upset, almost to the point of tears. I asked her if she was worried about having her blood drawn and she said that the blood draw didn’t bother her, but that she was upset because she had hit a cat with her car on the way to her appointment this morning. She said that she didn’t know who the cat belonged to and that she had it wrapped up in a blanket in her car. I asked her how badly the cat was hurt and she said β€œI think he’s going to be alright. I just clipped the hind end of him, but his tail is just barely hanging on. After I leave here, I’m taking him straight to Wal-Mart.”

I told her that she might be better off taking the cat to a veterinary clinic instead of Wal-Mart and she said, β€œbut it’s just his tail, and Wal-Mart is the largest retailer in North America!”

πŸ‘︎ 455
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doc_Hooligan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
An elderly woman at the bank today told me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GayBookBoy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A very elderly gentleman, mid ninety's, very well dressed, hair well groomed, great suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good aftershave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge…

Seated at the bar is an elderly lady, mid eighties.

The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I got a big promotion! I'm now the Electronic Innovation and Entertainment Information Officer for Elderly McDonald's Agricultural Enterprises.

I can't wait to put E.I.E.I.O. on my resume!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nesogra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the elderly's favorite genre of music?

Hip-pop!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolfirefly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What does cthulhu eat for breakfast?

Yog-urt and elder berries.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbowk23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Boxers cause a brief chase
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bloodywolfeyes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an elderly person with really good hearing?

Deaf defying!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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I’m working for a charity that provides support for elderly grapes

My job is in raisin awareness.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andi-amo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
An elderly couple from Russia...

is walking in St. Petersburg Square one cold evening, when a light precipitation begins to fall.

"It looks like rain", said the man.

"Oh no dear, it's definitely snow. Look at the way it blows in the light", said the woman.

The man turns to his wife and says, "Let's ask the military officer over there. Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely rain, sir!"

"See, Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

πŸ‘︎ 203
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stdubbs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
🚨︎ report

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