Like most people my age...

I'm 50...

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?

Because there was so many knights

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BULbyCharTOle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
With the onset of age, I'm forgetting really simple things, like the fact that cheese is made from milk.

Previously it would've a curd to me.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig from the dinosaur age?

Jurassic pork.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IWaterboardKids
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
People say "age" is a number

when clearly, it's a word.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
My tree is very smart. At its current age, it understands all branches of mathematics. But when it was just a little sapling...

It only knew twigonometry

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Did you know making people laugh in the middle ages

Was a good jester?

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
It really annoys me when people say that age is just a number

Age is clearly a word

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Faiz_Clan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
My dad made this weird joke ages ago

Me

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ogpog_splash
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Why do they call it the dark ages?

Because there’s so many knights!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEyeGuy13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
At what age are people the coldest?

When they're chill-dren.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
What agency is the most confused about it’s age?

MI6

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aceto1469
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
Like most people, I was able to recite the entire alphabet from a young age. But then I became an ordained minister.

I now pronounce U man and wife.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stickyDan
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
Someone told me that getting older is like making a soup and continually adding more spices in as you age.

I guess that explains why all these old folks are so salty.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MunchOnDat
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dad joke when it ages?

A groan up joke

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweetinasense
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
I want to Express my daughter's age as a fraction 6/12, 9/12, 16/12 etc.. my wife is really upset about it.

In our house It's really causing some division

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lornstar7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of cats.

This phenomenon is known as many paws

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
When I turned 16, my dad told me it was time to get a job. β€œWhen I was your age, my very first job I had I worked with over 500 people under me.”...

β€œWow!” I said. β€œWas it some big corporation?”

β€œNo.” He replied, β€œI mowed the lawn in the cemetery.”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What was even deadlier than the early middle ages?

The high voltages.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ultimadark
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
Why were people in the middle ages so medival and when did people advance from being mid-evil to advanced-evil?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tflightz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
At what age is it appropriate

To tell my dog he is adopted?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
Why is 5 the best age?

It’s a real handful

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
At what age do you start loving red wine?

When UB40.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDDDouble
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
I hate it when people say age is only a number

Age is clearly a word

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm tired of hearing people say that age is just a number

When it's clearly a word!

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GioPeyo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Dinosaur ages
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My son is now at that age where he's curious about the human body.

I guess I'll have to hide it somewhere else now.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know you are more likely to die before age 18 in a country like China, Japan, or India?

It's because there is so many YouthInAsia.

(euthanasia)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FranktheSirMan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).

The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.

πŸ‘︎ 386
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
When single women get to the age of 50, they tend to acquire lots of cats and dogs.

This phenomenon is known as many paws.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
Swedish astronomer Andres Celcius died in 1744 at the age of 43.

Though his rival, Fahrenheit, was convinced he was 103.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
From a young age I wanted to play guitar very badly.

After decades of dedicated and concentrated practice, I finally achieved my goal.

I can play guitar very badly.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
How to retire at the age of 18

Get a job at the tire shop.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A hen gathered other of age hens and taught them what to do during that time of the month.

You could say she was laying an eggsample.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
What did they call the tampon in the middle ages?

A period piece

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I was born at a very young age.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bazzman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to think my dad was really old as a kid, so he’d tell me, β€œWhen I was your age,

the Dead Sea was still alive!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carasius
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Christmas get better with age?

The more the merrier.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robbiewesters
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Like most people my age,

I'm 35.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I am going to go to school to become a marine biologist at age 55...

I know it sounds fishy, but I really think it will help to be less crabby, get out out of my shell, and have a porpoise in life.

After all, the world is my oyster!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tripsteur
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was 2 my sister was half my age, I’m now 70, how old is my sister?
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/starwars-kid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
When's the best age to tell a highway it's adopted?
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Losty1Ghost
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Vampires need to stop turning their victims at such a young age.

Help end Premature Draculation.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chadimus_Prime
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is it called the Dark Age?

Because of all the Knights.

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marv1236
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What section of the police is obsessed with gaining proof of age?

C.I.D

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you call a sauce's age

Sausage

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PierogisDevourer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The ice age would be the coolest time to be alive.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fistom
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Your mom had to get a tuberculosis test for work. I guess we'll finally have an answer to the age-old question . . .

TB, or not TB?

πŸ‘︎ 429
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A dad joke for the tech age.

Hey guys, this sucks, but I went down to the bank and tried to deposit some views, but it turns out all the take is revenue.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gurneyhallack
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Like most people my age...

I'm 45...

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do they call the middle ages the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spac3_Bandit0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Like most people my age,

I'm 31

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SES_Jay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Games for all ages
πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deathlysin
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Son: At what age did I stop doing that?

I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. It is even better when his friends are around. I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it.

Some examples

  1. When was I toilet trained- 12
  2. When did I stop sleeping with my ass in the air- 15
  3. When did I stop dropping my pants and underwear to my ankles to pee at a urinal- 14
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegreatsnook
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What Sith Lord immobilizes his enemies in their old age instead of killing them?

Darth Ritis.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
The secret to having a smoking hot body in old age?

Cremation.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I was waiting ages for my book on herb based erotica to arrive and it finally came today. It’s about f***ing thyme.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crippsyuk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I could never appreciate children between the ages of 13 and 19. Then, I added macro-nutrients made of amino acids to my diet. Now, I am pro-teen!

A dad joke original from my dad!!!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a lima have when it comes of age?

A beanceaΓ±era!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinround15
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I've gotten to the age when young people don't recognize my song lyric references anymore.

Well I guess this is growing up.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrIncorporeal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My son has recently been starting to suffer from early male pattern baldness, like I did at his age.

I think itβ€˜s haireditery.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carotoffel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather is really frustrated that he has to take the stair chair lift because of his age.

It’s driving him up the wall.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
🚨︎ report
TIL 3rd Age a Franciscan priest named Adelle, the head cook in the Mines of Moria, was known for his delicious tempura

He was rolling in the deep friar.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When I Was Your Age...
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlastPalace
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad just told me, β€œWhen I was your age and saw a girl, I first looked at her hair, then her eyes, then her neck...”

Damn dial up connections!

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I spent ages at the gym trying to get a ripped body

but it just ended up in tears.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elokwins
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been waiting for this movie about clocks for ages now.

It's about time.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diglett10
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve always wonderedβ€” What is the oldest age that a person can get a circumcision?

I just want to know the cutoff date.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Trying to find motivation and engage with research of what motivated people in the post-Bronze Age to engage in building double-storey dwellings...

Irony on two many levels.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The Jungle Book is a movie that answers the age old question:

Does a bear scat in the woods?

(Zee-ba-da-zap-dooey)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laringar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I've always wanted to be born in the age I could become a Gregorian monk

But I guess I'll never have the chants

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
When kingdoms fought in the middle ages

They were playing for keeps.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was your age

Dad: Hey son, how old are you?

Son: Uhh dad I’m 9

Dad: Let me tell you something, when I was your age I was 9 too!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vektriz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?

Because there were so many knights.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Executive_Meme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Son, in your age Napoleon was first in class!

Son: In your age he was an emperor.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aprin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
If I ever own a ranch in my old age

I'm definitely gonna call it "Pasture Prime"

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jshrad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2016
🚨︎ report
If you age a wine for 12-13 years

Is it called a β€œteen” spirit? πŸ€”

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ky_tai
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What would you name a book that's about a horse's dreams in the middle ages?

The Nightmares of a Knight's Mare.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vernal59
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
There once was a black dog of age four...

Who could fly like the wind with a roar
A pup asked one day
β€˜Why are you this way’
He was a labracadabrador

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CVSSR
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is Warren Buffett so healthy for his age?

Through value ingesting

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wallesis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
It's a grandpa joke but whatever. 'Kids, when you're my age, you'll really want to wear diapers again for 2 good reasons'

'What are the reasons?'

'#1, and #2'

'Oh grandpa...'

'You don't understand. #2 was a solid one'

'Stoooop'

'And you should already understand #1, it runs in your genes'

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gets_the_dad_joke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
🚨︎ report
I need under age drinking puns

I have a project to make my own campaign for change and ypu can probably tell its to do with under age drinking. I cant think of any good ones so guys please help

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_S02
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
They called it the dark ages

Because there was so many knights

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Original-boy2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
Why was it called the dark ages?

Because of all the knights.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was it called the dark ages?

Because of all the knights.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate when people say age is only a number.....

Age is clearly a word

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why were the dark ages called the dark ages?

There were too many knights.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHUD18
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Why is it called the Dark Age?

Because of all the Knights.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Marv1236
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate it when people say age is only a number.

β€œAge” is clearly a word.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Epic_Doughnut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why were the dark ages called the dark ages?

There were too many knights.

πŸ‘︎ 318
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viktorreznv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
🚨︎ report

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