Under-age Weasel walks into a bar... orders a drink.
So an under-age weasel waltzes into the local bar one fine Friday. He asks the bartender,
"HEY! Whatcha got to drink here?"
Bartender checks his ID, replies with,
"Well sir, since you're not quite old enough, here are your options:
We got tap water, seltzer water, apple juice, orange juice, milk, coffee, tea, and pop."
"POP! Goes the Weasel."
Why does it take sailors ages to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C
What do you call a dog that doesn’t seem to age?
How long does it take to beat a Sega game backwards? Ages...
A new pub opened up that allows minors over the age of twelve.
What’s the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?
I just want to know the cutoff date.
Thousand and thousands of years ago, during the last ice age, there lived an animal that excelled at trigonometry, geometry, and could recite Pi to 100 decimal places. It was known simply as.....
.....the mammothematician.
At age 18 I lost both my kidneys...
...from that day in I had adult-neys.
I havent read a book in ages. So i decided to start with a book of how clocks work.
What do you call it when someone bellow the age of 18 has a problem
Me to my teen age daughter in the grocery store while I hold a melon.
“You cantaloupe! Your too young”
At the age of 65, my Grandma started walking 5 miles a day.
She's 92 now. We have no idea where she is.
Dad: when I was your age I ran a maratho
Son: you mean marathon.
Dad: no I didn’t finish it.
The wife looked concerned when my son showed an interest in electricals at the age of 5.
He asked about the neutral wire.
I said "don't worry, its just a phase."
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...
...and boys develop them around the age of forty…
You shouldn't discriminate against first graders based on their age.
Watched Age of Ultron yesterday..
I still don't get why there was so much fighting over how old the guy was.
Why is the time period from 476 - 800 ad known as Dark Ages?
Because it was the time of knights.
What do you call teenagers who pee in their pants at the age of 14?
If Hermes was the messenger god, the he sure was lucky not to have met the god of pain and old age...
They found bones of a homisapien who lived before the ice age. Some say he was the first hipster...
since he lived on the earth before it was cool.
What do you call the time period between the Bronze and Iron Ages where humans learned to cure meat?
My son asked if I picked my nose when I was his age.
I told him “no, I was born with it”
If old age is catching up with you ...
What is an appropriate age to tell my highway it's adopted?
I feel like the 66 route is a little late
Apparently until the age of 10 ,
Sean Connery's son thought Humpty Dumpty, shat on the wall
Out of all the inventions of the Bronze Age...
The shovel has to be the most groundbreaking of all
Ive been reading this book called “The A to Z of Northern Europe”, but it’s taking me ages...
Not sure I’ll ever get to the Finish
What is the worst part about being a letter carrier in the middle ages?
When I turned 16, my dad told me it was time to get a job. “When I was your age, my very first job I had I worked with over 500 people under me.”...
“Wow!” I said. “Was it some big corporation?”
“No.” He replied, “I mowed the lawn in the cemetery.”
I hate it when people say age is only a number
Like most people my age...
My son is now at that age where he's curious about the human body.
I guess I'll have to hide it somewhere else now.
It's true whiskey improves with age.
The older I get the more I like it.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
My tree is very smart. At its current age, it understands all branches of mathematics. But when it was just a little sapling...
It only knew twigonometry
What do you call a pig from the dinosaur age?
At what age are people the coldest?
Did you know making people laugh in the middle ages
What's the oldest age someone could get a circumcision ?
I just need to know the cut-off date.
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…
Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…
Why was it called the dark ages?
Because of all the knights.
They called it the dark ages
Because there was so many knights
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