The Grandmother Puns

Cemetery groundskeeper: I guess you can say I’ve made a grave mistake.

One nannameter

It was quite the Plot Twist

I said "Eh, she's alright I guess."

which is why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon.

Grandma-ma-mia

He was a tad Pole.

She said ‘look how far I can kick this bucket’.

Whenever I visited, I only got to see the good china.

There was this heavy dresser and my dad said “Let’s tackle this now rather than later” I looked at the dresser, back at him, back to the dresser, and I said “Id rather lift it”

He gave me a funny look and sighed. My brother in law laughed.

Perhaps she'll be able to tell me herself at the funeral

It was B9, after all

The Weimar Republic

I guess you could call it a boo-tea call.

She was a real Gramma nazi!

Gran-nola bars

My wife and I brought our new daughter to meet my grandmother who lives in a nursing home in another state. This nursing home has a cat and two dogs that also reside there. I only saw one of the dogs, but my grandmother told me that the other one has no tail. I asked "why not?" she said "It's mother bit the tail off." - I said "What a bitch!" It took a moment, then she said. "She IS a bitch." - We both laughed.

We call it "In Depends Dance Day."

She was insisting she looked aweful in the photograph, "I can't take a good photo!" She said

My father looked up, "It wasn't you that took it, someone else did!"

He chuckled away to himself while my grandmother explained the joke to my aunt

My grandmother was getting rid of a box of books, one of which was titled "I Ching." I asked her how to pronounce that word (like e-ching) after which she asked if I knew about it at all. I then responded with "No, but I am I Ching to hear about it!"

So I'm driving my grandmother around so she can go Christmas shopping. Her: I wish I had a date for New Years Eve. Me: You do, December 31st! It took her a few minutes for her to actually realize what I said.

(Talking about the differences between generations)

Grandma: What generation am I in then?

Me: I don't know, the old fart generation?

Grandma: Well, sometimes I make new farts too.