So, ive been doing a lot of reading as im fairly excited about 2.2. It is going to be nice to have a viable alternative to Firebird's. That being said, Delsere's is as someone else put it, a hot mess. So without some drastic changes thats probably going to be dog shit. Tal's is currently pretty badass, actually substantially more badass than firebird's. The recent change to firebird's will help with clearing trash slightly (which is where the set shines already), but will be completely useless (and boring) against single target, which is really IMO where firebird's fails the most.
Does anyone get the impression Firebird's is kind of being forgotten in the midst of all the other Wizard crap going on in 2.2? It feels like its just going to be very subpar compared to Tal's. Making it no longer "viable".
My stepchild came out as non-binary this week. My husband didn't really understand it but I told him that they needed support right now and to use their pronouns and we can deal with the rest later. My husband clearly didn't listen to me and talked to his sister. I think his sister told her son and her son send my child memes that were horrific and incredibly hurtful. They had only come out to her parents and step-parents and were not ready to come out to anyone else.
They came to me late in the evening and showed those memes to me and they were crying. They also were very betrayed by their dad's actions. They wanted to go home and my husband was against it and he told me if I was going to drop them off then I should stay at my parents which is closer to their house. I packed a back for both of us and dropped her off at her mother's place.
I have been staying with my parents for the last few days and things have gone sideways quickly. His ex-wife is going to file for full custody and he can't afford that. He is blaming it on me and I feel a bit guilty because he is going to lose custody. I feel like my marriage is imploding and there is no way to go back from being the reason you lost custody of your only child.
I(33m) married my wife(32) 3 years ago. When we met she had a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Even though I referred to her as my stepchild in the title I see her as pretty much my own daughter because I have been in her life from such a young age, and I am also the biological father of her younger half-sister. My parents have always been supportive of this, and love my wife's daughter.
2 years ago, wife and I had our second daughter, our oldest's half-sister, and my parents were quite excited. For Christmas they brought probably around 13-15 gifts just for our new daughter(I know this is pretty common for a first Christmas with a new baby). They brought around 5 for my wife's daughter and admittedly this was very confusing for a five year old. She has always been attached to my parents, and my parents love her, but they do not view her as their granddaughter like I view her as my daughter.
This year my wife and I decided to make sure the kids open equal amounts of gifts at Christmas and I informed my parents that when they come to Christmas they should bring an equal amount of gifts for each children to open and if they had any extra's for our youngest daughter then we could set up a time for them to give her the rest of the gifts while oldest daughter was at her biological father's house.
My parents have had hard time with this request, and I wonder if I was wrong to ask them of this. I understand how they feel and I don't think they mean any harm, but for now me and my wife don't want the oldest to feel left out on Christmas. My wife and I don't want my parents to return the gifts for our youngest, and we don't want them to feel like they can't spoil their grandchild, but we have a duty to both children. AITA here?
Edit: more info. Yes my stepdaughter does see her bio father, but he does not have custody so she only sees him on holidays(her birthday, Christmas, etc..) and yes she does get some gifts from there, but she gets them separately, away from our 2 year old. She does have a set of grandparents from her bio fathers side, but she does not see them very often and they do not always celebrate holidays with their son and grandchild so it is hit or miss whether or not step-daughter gets gifts from them. She is closest with my wife's parents and mine, who she views as her grandparents because of how much time she spends with them.
For now this is temporary, and we don't plan for this to last forever, but for now while they are yo... keep reading on reddit ➡
Yeah, the title is a little clickbaity. Sorry. But now that I have your attention…
This story happened last summer. I was working evening shift and had this older lady walk in. She informed me she had a reservation for four and would like to sit outside, so her stepchildren could play where she would see them. How nice of her, right? Her guy (at least 15 years younger than her) appears soon after, with his two kids. Two blonde little angels, probably around 8-10. Now that they’re all here, I go ask for drinks. And that’s where the problems start.
She orders longdrinks for herself and her guy (who doesn’t even get a word in) and then asks me to bring out the cocktail menu for the kids, which already ran off to play. I ask her if she wants our special “kids cocktail”, which is simply a couple tropical juices and a dash of grenadine for looks. Basically, a cocktail that looks the part but is way cheaper and easier for us to make. Wrong answer. She huffs and puffs and promptly informs me that “no, her kids will have REAL cocktails.” and that I “shouldn’t try and offer her cheap stuff just because it’s less work for us.”
Okay, my bad. I apologize and get our bartender out (mostly because we don’t have a physical bar menu) and she calls back the kids who clearly are much more interested in their game and have no idea what to order. She picks out two mocktails for them (two different ones of course, out of pure spite) and sends the barkeeper away. I get their drinks ready and walk straight into the next outburst. How dare I give this drink to her precious boy? It clearly has cream in it! Don’t I know that the boy is lactose intolerant? He could literally die! (All of this her words, not mine)
Well, you ordered this specific drink for him and really should have asked if you didn’t know, but okay, my bad again. I apologize once more and fix the problem by simply swapping out the boys drink with the girls. I half expected this to cause the next rant, but the boy just takes a sip and runs off to play again, so I’m in the clear. For now.
They order food and aside from a “Well YOU obviously don’t have children!” when I dared to only get out one small bowl of ketchup for their two servings of fries (mostly because I ran out of hands to carry the second one), they leave me alone. Another round of drinks, the children’s cocktails of course weren’t touched beyond a couple sips, but that’s none of my business, they’re still around 8 bucks a piece. But the best is yet t... keep reading on reddit ➡
First and foremost;. I'm not fat shaming this child I love her and I'm concerned for them because of their health. They get winded easily, has a pretty awful diet at mum's, needs digestive medication, sleep apnea spells etc.
I love these kids. I'm concerned because both bio parents just assume the child will even out when older and these children (like almost any other child from divorce) Really know how to reign in their father to get what they want.
We are both in our 40s (my kids are in college, he stared later). I don't know if I'm just and old school parent or what. I feel like she needs to be seen for things like the child's indigestion, sleep apnea and such.
I feel we should take an active role to get us all out of the house and running around eating better. Setting a good example.
I really want to speak to dad about it but I don't want him to think I'm calling them a fat kid. I'm truly concerned for the child and need advice, please.
I'm typing this on my phone. I hope I'm not coming across as mean.
I have to get this off my chest, because if I don't the depression and anxiety might eat me alive.
I am forty years old and happily married to a wonderful woman. She and I have three children together; two of them are stepchildren from her previous marriage, and one of them is mine, biologically. The two older kids are 12 and 11, and I have been in their lives since they were very small (4 and 2), so I am basically all they have known as a father figure.
Seeing as how I'm posting this in /r/confessions, I'll get right to it.
The younger stepchild (the middle child) has a birth defect that makes her legs pretty much useless, and also inhibits her other fine motor skills. I've known this since my wife and I began dating. It's always been something we have to deal with... but I have never minded it. That is, until very recently.
Since she is now 11, Middle is getting very large. She uses a wheelchair to get around most of the time, but around the house she usually crawls. When she was smaller, this wasn't an issue... she got around fairly well. But now that she is so much larger, it's making much of her locomotion, as well as her daily routine, much more difficult on her mother and I. We used to be able to lift her from her wheelchair into her seat in our van with little trouble, but now I can no longer let her hang around my neck and carry her because she's more than once pulled a muscle in my neck and back doing this. And her legs are so long that picking her up to do all the normal tasks, like getting her into the bathtub, is extremely difficult. Our house is mostly handicap accessible, but she gets her wheelchair stuck on rugs and doorway thresholds all the time, and has trouble even opening and closing doors.
She's never been diagnosed, but I am certain that she is also on the autism spectrum. She has several ticks that she does constantly, like clapping her hands or flapping her arms for no reason, repeating what people around her say right after they've said it, and repeating the same phrase over and over. This also causes her not to realize exactly how big she has gotten and how much more difficult it is to do all the things with her that we used to be able to do when she was little, like helping her into the back yard to play with her younger sister (who is 5, and a tornado of energy).
So here comes the confession.
The physical exertion and the amount of time her various issues take up, coupled with the fact that she has no cognizant... keep reading on reddit ➡
I have a Roku, Apple TV, and a Samsung Smart TV. I get 5.1 on NONE of them.
However, during a recent HBO preview weekend, I did get 5.1 on HBO shows. So apparently it seems it’s technically feasible.
Despite promises, this has been going on forever. What’s up? 🤷🏻♂️
Why does yahoo allow commissioners to edit points and to skip weeks in football but not in hockey. Seems like an easy fix
Looking for advice . My ex and I got divorced 2 years ago . He had children and so did I . Our divorce was ugly and I haven’t seen my step kids in all this time and he hasn’t seen mine. (He cheated on me and moved his mistress in pretty soon after ). We did not have children together . I did love my stepchildren very much and it was hard to have this happen .
Earlier this year my ex contacted me and apologized for what he did . I suspect it was because he and the mistress broke up but it’s neither her nor there now. We don’t talk now and I’m still healing from what he did .
I found out today one of my ex stepchildren is very sick . They have been in and out of the hospital battling it . It’s a life long disease and I am feeling very sad for my former stepchild .
I am conflicted if i should send an email to my ex and say I’m sorry my ex stepchild is sick and I am sending prayers their way . Or just let it go and pray on my own and stay no contact with him?
My stepfather just calls me his kid, he didn't raise me or anything like that, and I didn't grow up with him but he still calls me his kid and I accept that because he is an important member of my family.
So when I hear people say bonus kid it just makes me think they don't really care that much about the kid if they have to still add a title to them.
I have 2 stepdaughters, 7 and 10. The 7 year old is EXTREMELY manipulative. I'm trying to figure out how to deal, without leaving, because I adore my fiancée and my 10 year old stepdaughter, but MAN the 7 yo gives me a run for my money.
So, there was one occasion she was on punishment and so she could not have dessert after dinner (pretty mild "punishment") she fabricated an entire story about how she misses her dad and mom being together as a family. She then asked if she could have some ice cream because she was sad to which we said "no" and she replied with "aw man, I really thought I was gonna get ice cream as a reward for being sad" and laughed it off. Her mom had a talk with her and she admitted that she wasnt sad about her family, she was sad that she couldn't have dessert. She was 6 at the time.
Now, for context, I have a lazy eye. Ive been in her life since she was 5. She asked a lot of questions in the beginning, which I'm perfectly fine with, but it has been years since she's brought it up. Fast forward to 2 months ago. She was being reprimanded for something (I forget what) and during the talk- she interjects to say "why do your eyes look like that? Like one is regular and one looks like you're tired all the time" trying to take herself out of the hotseat.
Now, fast forward to last night. We were all in the kitchen cooking, laughing, having a good time. Out of nowhere she said "hey mommy, I miss Mickey. Remember Mickey? The one we said we would never let go of..." (Mickey is my fiancée's e. Gf) normally she would get some sort of lecture about this, but last night there was none. I finished cooking and went to bed. She asked if I was upset and I replied "no baby why would i be upset?" And watched me like a hawk, as if she was waiting for a reaction out of me.
I just dont understand. Granted since Ive been around there has been a lot of structure in the home. They have simple chores, are expected to pick up after themselves, limited device time, etc.
I dont want to give up. But I feel emotionally abused right now. She is HIGHLY intelligent and aware. Its just becoming exceedingly more difficult to want to provide and be treated this way. Any thoughts?
(Edit to give more details on my questions (below) as I'd really like some personal input from anyone who feels comfortable sharing.)
I am a 40(F) never-Mo. My SO is 49M ExMo (left TSCC about ten years ago).
My SO has two kids 18 and 16. He and I have been together 7 years. His ex-wife (mother of the kids) is still TBM.
My SO's eldest 18 came out as asexual about a year ago. I could not be more proud of them.
I would love to get some thoughts from this community (which I appreciate and have learned so much from) on supporting someone asexual, if anyone has experience? I find it ironic that a religion that fetishises virginity is now making my stepchild feel bad about not wanting to be sexual.
I want to support this friend (my "stepchild"/ my SOs child) and wondered if anyone had some insights. We are close, but don't talk explicitly about their TBM mom; however I get the sense that things aren't good with the mom. I just want to be supportive.
Edit to add:
On a practical level, what might it be like to attend a church event where you are looking or feeling not gender typical? (I know TBM mom still takes my stepchild to church events, and they dress non-binary, blue hair).
What would a TBM parent be saying to a child/ adult (aged 18) if they stated they were asexual?
I''m asking in order to empathize and support. Although I feel like I have learned so much from my exmo SO, this is unchartered territory for both of us. Thank you so much!
From: UPDATE: AITA for wearing earplugs? by u/what-even-am-i-
Original: My partner’s (40m) 5 year old is incredibly loud. He has a naturally loud voice, but from being ignored at his mother’s house, he feels he needs to yell all the time to be listened to. He will also start yelling for his dad the second anyone else starts talking to his dad. I feel terribly for how neglected he clearly feels from his mom’s home environment, but I have severe sensory issues and visits are an assault on my mental health. In the past I’ve tried to gently tell him that he doesn’t need to yell, we are listening always and he can just say what he needs at a normal volume. I’ve also said things like “please don’t yell at me, it hurts my ears and makes me very uncomfortable. What do you need?”
My partner takes offense to this and feels like I’m trying to crush his son’s spirit. After several arguments about the logic of trying to make him feel listened to without yelling at the top of his lungs, I gave up and began wearing earplugs. I can still hear anyone who needs to talk to me, but noises are dampened enough that I’m not a tightly wound mess when he comes to visit. My partner also thinks this is rude and I’m trying to make some kind of statement and shut everyone out. AITA here?
ETA: there are two other children in this house who become incredibly overwhelmed by the noise and dynamic when the youngest is here. This isn’t just a me thing.
Update: Some positive developments!
After many conversations surrounding his son and our overall home dynamic, he started gently correcting his son the way I have been. He was finally able to see my behavior for what it was - reaction to a stimulus and NOT to his son as a human. After that he also started to see that our other children are also often distressed by having a loud home over a long period and not being able to do or say anything about it.
He realized a lot of his negative reaction came from his guilt at not being able to see his son more often (ex lives a ~13 hour drive away and has declined to ever meet him anywhere and often dicks him around after plans have been made). So together we developed a structured plan that lets him see him more often (and on a schedule so he’s never agonizing and wondering when she’ll let him come get him next) and Facetimes in between. They’re both so much happier for it.
ETA: We’ve... keep reading on reddit ➡
Today I found out that one of my adult parentally alienated stepchildren has gotten a degree in psychology and plans to be a therapist to children of divorce.
She is still very much alienated from her own father (and his side of the family), has complete meltdowns every couple of years when she bothers reaching out to her father, between which she ignores his existence unless she’s demanding $$.
And yet she is going to provide therapy to other people for these issues.
The narcissism is strong with that one.
I know every situation is different but I just wanted to ask all of y’all. I’ve been in my stepchilds life as long as she can remember. I love her and we’ve always hoped maybe she will want to come live with us when she gets older. She loves it at our house especially because I’m very hands on and her mom is kind of a raging screamer. She is very “loyal” to her mom though and I just worry about her not wanting to hurt her mom’s feelings.
Hey, y’all!! 👋🏻👋🏻
I think I've shared my situation in previous posts. I have a 15 y.o SS that my husband shares with his ex. His ex suffers not only from unresolved mental health issues, but she is also very toxic in ways that were geared at one time in literally ruining my husband's life. I am not a clinician, but based on her behavior, I believe her to be a true narcissist. When she found that she couldn't control DH anymore when they were in the process of divorcing, she did what narcissists do next: do everything in their power to destroy them. She launched out on a campaign as their marriage was ending to destroy his reputation in the community, destroy his friendships, his relationship with his family, destroy his career, and his relationship with the children they share. She made up the most unspeakable lies and accusations of cruelty, abuse, assault, and tried to have him arrested and removed from their marital home so she could claim it and he would be out on the street yet still paying for her life. She did this same thing to her previous husband and had the community turn against him, his own family turn against him, his business ruined, and he ended up just fleeing in shame while she claimed his family as her own (and their money) and cut him off from a relationship with the daughter they shared. But with my DH, people saw through her. It didn't work in the way she wanted it to. She did succeed in turning the biological daughter of her former husband, whom my husband adopted and raised, against her. She had to retain control over her "property" (the daughter). Soon, she found new supply: a wealthy doctor. Finally she took her claws out of DH and he was able to get away from her in peace. We dated and did not marry for two years after their divorce; she married this doctor two months later in a large, elaborate ceremony attended by hundreds that clearly took a long time to plan. But whatever. DH was free.
The ex threw a huge fit when she heard DH got remarried to me, like breaking things, bashing her head into walls, tearing out her hair, screaming and crying. We knew this because her new husband called my DH and was asking, what do I do? Has she ever done this before? Did he need to take her to a psych unit? He told DH that she kept screaming things like "I hate him" and "I was the one who was supposed to win, he was supposed to end up miserable and alone" and "I hate that bitch because she makes him happy! He doesn't deserve to be happy! She loves him and h... keep reading on reddit ➡
So, my baby will be 3 weeks on Saturday. My husband (34m) and I (31f) have been together for 8 years so I’ve obviously been in my SDs (11f) life since she was 3. I believe she’s resentful of our newborn and I’m unsure if it’s because of me and my husband or if this is something that is inevitable. I have been much more hands off with her since the baby has arrived. Mostly because I’m exhausted and enthralled in caring for a newborn, but also because I feel that my husband needs to step it up and parent his child. I’ve been the primary parent that enforces chores, does homework, etc. aka not the fun parent and I didn’t feel I should have to balance both when there’s another completely capable parent in the household. In hindsight, she’s never seemed excited about having a sibling. She has said she is, but doesn’t show a lot of emotion in general so I took her word for it. Now that my son is here, she has shown almost zero interest in him. I understand it takes time for kids to adjust to a new sibling but she hasn’t even been within a few feet of him, let alone held him. I actually don’t have a problem with this because HCBM doesn’t want her vaccinated, so the less exposure, the better. However, My husband and HCBM got into an argument in front of SD where BM repeatedly said that he only cares about his new family and not SD. I encouraged my husband to call her daily while she was at her moms and have a candid conversation with her to make sure she doesn’t internalize BM’s bullshit and he claimed she was good. Well tonight I was helping her with her homework since my husband was working late. She had to do 8 “6 word short stories” and include a photo to help bring the story together. Her short story for her brother was “Got a sibling, got more responsibility” then the photo is a meme of a child sitting on top of and pushing down on a board which is on top of their sibling with the caption “There can be only one”. If you Google “There can be only one meme” you’ll see it. I know it was supposed to be funny, but I guess because of her complete lack of interest in the baby and the pretty big age gap - I found it a little weird/concerning. Plus, why would you turn something like that in to school? Am I overreacting? My husband didn’t get home from work until 1am and we were all asleep so he hasn’t seen it yet, but I have a feeling he’s just going to laugh it off. Anyone else deal with a SK that showed no interest in new sibling? Did it change?
Edit: Adding that... keep reading on reddit ➡
This will be long- bless you if you read it all- I’ve never been in this situation and don’t know how to go about it. I live in a house with my mom, my child, and my boyfriend. It’s my moms house. I had told boyfriend last summer I wanted to break up and have him move out. He has a child that was in custody of his mother- he has been doing the work to get custody back. When I told him I wanted to break up, he said he would save up and move out- and that he would get his son back in about a year. Suddenly, 8/14/2021 his mom said here you take your son back. I expressed my feelings about it- why not talk to her and say why so fast and sudden? Also, reminded him of reality that I wanted to end this relationship. I’m not sure if he was scared to say no or talk to his mom in fear of jeopardizing his chance to get his son back- but he got his son and now I take care of his son while his dad works. I am so sad because I feel bad for his kid, knowing I don’t want to live together and here this kid is adjusting to a new normal- how do I go about reminding his dad that I do not want to live together anymore and that he and his child will need to move???
My stepfather (late '50s) means the world to me and I really want to get him (or even make) something special for his birthday this year, now that I have a tiny bit more wiggle room with my finances. However, he's someone that is very difficult to purchase gifts for, here's why:
He's worked very hard and sacrificed a lot in his life to be able to afford most things, so that alone makes it much harder to find him a gift since he can already get it himself. His job consumes the majority of his time and so he doesn't really have many hobbies nor has the time for them. He enjoys going to the gun range every once in a while, he is proud of his service in the Navy, he appreciates art and has collected some pieces in the past, he's not a huge fan of the NFL but he'll watch a game occasionally, he doesn't care for flashy or luxury items, and he is a bit of a nerd at times. That about sums it up lol
This post doesn't give him any credit because he's literally an amazing Father-figure but he's such a simple, humble, and down-to-earth guy that it makes it extremely difficult to get him gifts!
Also, if you have any suggestions for giving him something hand-made and "craftsy" I'd love to know! I really enjoy creating craft projects. Thank you in advance!!!
The bio dad has long since passed and I’m married to the mother of the stepchild. From what I’ve seen it’s just forms to fill out and file at the courthouse, but how do I know I’m getting the right forms and what not?
I haven't even finished reading the first chapter and I just had to share this gem.
In this fic, Harry takes after his mum, and with his red hair, Draco mistakes him for a Weasley, and he gets swept up into the family at the train station.
It's crackish, for sure, but I can't stop smiling.
My husband bought my teenage step child a set of ski’s 2 years ago for $600, my stepson ruined them and he just bought him another pair for $500 a few days ago. My husband has used the same set of ski’s for years and thought I was crazy when I thought it was inappropriate to just buy another set because he can’t take care of things. He lost it when I asked if it would be considered a Christmas gift. Am I the crazy? My husband does this all the time when my step child losses or damages something because he is careless.