The Lord of the Rings official pinball machine doesn’t take quarters.

Only Tolkiens

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.

His name was Legofirst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NiteOwlNov
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Doctor Doctor! At night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings

That's ok, you're just Tolkien in your sleep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yankee9Niner
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.

They’re calling it The Two Tires

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LEGOM3426
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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I keep reciting all of Lord of The Rings in bed

My wife says I need to do something about Tolkien in my sleep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vwraider
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers

That must have been Mordor

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Does anyone know who played frodo in Lord of the rings?

I bet Elijah wood know.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemesisprime1984
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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There weren't a lot of hobbits in the first Lord of the Rings books.

They were just Tolkien characters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Lord Of The Rings Book Reference
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemeMaker_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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I friend told me that the Lord of the Rings was a terrible series

I said "you don't know what you're Tolkien about."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilentTempestLord
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Lego Lord of the Rings was a definitive moment for Tolkien fans

Up to that point they had been Legoless

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πŸ‘€︎ u/36chambersoffun
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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That’s What I’m Tolkien About: Lord of the Rings in Puns. youtu.be/5HQPyZyJYJQ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mhighton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Last night I dreamt I’d written the Lord of the Rings

My wife said to me I was just Tolkien in my sleep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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There is a deleted scene in Lord of the Rings when Bilbo and Frodo run into a long lost hipster cousin.

Douche Baggins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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I belong to a Lord of the Rings Society, and we have a secret sign.

It is a Tolkien gesture.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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My Son asked me if the Santa's Elves were the same Elves from Lord of the Rings

I said grow up Son, you're 32 years old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waspeater
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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I was watching the Lord of The Rings, The Return of the King when this hit me:
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dcstapleton
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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TIL: Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

The movie is called "You Tolkien to me?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
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My wife is the biggest β€œLord of the Rings” fan.

Every night I hear her Tolkien in her sleep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2018
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For my son’s birthday, I got him a copy of β€œThe Lord of the Rings”, but he wasn’t too happy.

He thought it was a Tolkien gesture.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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Me and the lads did a Lord of The Rings marathon last weekend

Ran 26 miles dressed as Gandalf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Almarrio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Did you hear about the new Lord of the Rings book?

That’s what I’m Tolken about.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukemcritchie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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Went to see my doctor today about a problem. I keep reading Lord of the Rings over and over again

She told me not to worry. Its just force of hobbit!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jp28992
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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I read lord of the rings for blind people yesterday

It was brailleant!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cookiewookie87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively.

It was his Frodo-Booth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheScarletSho
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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Watching Lord of the Rings with my girlfriend

When I ask her: "Are you Team Arwen or Team Eowyn?"

"Team Arwen, you?"

"Not sure, but either way, it's a wyn-wen situation for Aragorn."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonerdonutbonut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
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What's wrong with staying up late to watch Lord of the Rings movies?

It's a bad hobbit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atommyc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2012
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I used to be addicted to Lord of the Rings...

But then I kicked the hobbit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hamfast42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2016
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I didn't know a Lord of the Rings dad joke existed until this

My family was watching Lord of the Rings a few weeks back. At one point in the movies, a character says, "Muster the Roherim!" Later on, I (the son) pointed out, "The Roherim have been mustered." My dad instantly replies, "Except the slow ones, they gotta ketchup!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UserNameHere98
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2016
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Pun Request: Die Hard and Lord of the Rings

My friend and I are doing a stupid audio trailer for a mash-up called Old Hobbits Die Hard and we're looking for a few dumb puns to stick in as lines said or something like that. We already have a few, including "Yippee ki yay Mr. Frodo." Thanks for any help you can give!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moltenpanther
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2015
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Why is 'The Lord of the Rings' so long?

Because no one ever stops Tolkieng.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sumkidy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2016
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Girlfriend is a Lord of the Rings fan

She has a tattoo of a mountain range with an elvish inscription underneath.

Me: What does your tattoo say again?

Her: Oh, it says "The mountain is calling.". Why?

Me: Oh no reason, I just didn't know what it was Tolkein about.

Her: (thousand yard stare)

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πŸ“…︎ May 08 2015
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Watching Lord of the Rings...

Dad: Why is Elrond upset with Arwen?
Sister: He didn't want her to give up her immortality to be with Aragorn.
Dad: Isn't that a bit elfish of him?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipingplover
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2014
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Lord of the Rings dadjoke

When Gandalf reveals himself in The Two Towers, we were all commenting on how he was the white wizard.

Me: "he's not Gandalf the Grey anymore!"

Dad: "he's now Wandalf the White!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheReezles
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
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So I was watching Lord of the Rings with my dad...

When I mentioned Legolas he asks, "so did he lose both his legs?"

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
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Last night I dreamed I wrote β€œLord of the Rings”.

I was Tolkien in my sleep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Last night, I kept dreaming that I've written "The Lord of the Rings."

My wife said I've been Tolkien in my sleep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klitzklein
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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