45 Hilarious Ding Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Barack Obama at our local church making continual ‘Ding Dong’ noises.

I can see why he won the No peace Bell Prize

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👤︎ u/jnolife

📅︎ Mar 05 2021

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Ding heres a light joke to brighten up the world(three jokes in one) (;

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/TheHotSouthWinds

📅︎ Sep 16 2020

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PSA: if you receive an email with the subject ding dong. Whatever you do, don’t open it.

It’s the Jehovah’s witnesses working from home

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👤︎ u/YellowSnow2807

📅︎ May 12 2020

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Dong. Ding Dong.

James Bond's doorbell.

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👤︎ u/smarterthanawaffle

📅︎ Feb 05 2020

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When redbull also gives you dings

👍︎ 11

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👤︎ u/0-Ben-Dover-0

📅︎ Aug 30 2019

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What do you call a stick used to ding a bell?

A ding bat.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/homevp

📅︎ Jan 27 2017

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When I say, "Ding dong." You say, "Aww."

"...why?" My girlfriend asked. "Because it's a-door-able!"

All I heard was groans as she walked out and closed the door.

👍︎ 59

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👤︎ u/ThePreissisRight

📅︎ Dec 20 2016

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He was talking about the ding-a-ling song (dads will get the reference)

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/someone5793

📅︎ Oct 08 2013

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You know what's the wurst?

This sausage joke.

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/PracticalConjecture

📅︎ Apr 29 2021

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What’s an impostor’s favorite breakfast?

Sus-age.

👍︎ 20

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👤︎ u/Ghost_Foot

📅︎ Apr 19 2021

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Took me a minute I can’t lie

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👤︎ u/i_like_miniwheats

📅︎ Jan 06 2021

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I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10." But what I still don’t get is why...

She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.

👍︎ 194

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Jan 18 2021

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I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...

Just in case there’s a salad dressing

👍︎ 15k

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👤︎ u/omniwrench-

📅︎ Aug 29 2020

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Good boi Kraken

👍︎ 3k

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👤︎ u/ebtcrew

📅︎ Jul 08 2020

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My wife said, "You act like a detective too much, I want to split up."

"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"

👍︎ 11k

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ May 31 2020

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What will happen if your kid comes out as a trans?

You become transparent

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/awkward_guy92

📅︎ Dec 15 2020

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How do you tell the difference between a male door and a female door?

One has a ding-dong and the other has knockers.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Jan 10 2021

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The archeologist thought he had dug up a full dinosaur

but it just was a fossil arm

👍︎ 67

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👤︎ u/vagdryna

📅︎ Sep 17 2020

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This pretty much sums of every applicant we’ve seen at the shop....Nah, hostess

👍︎ 35

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👤︎ u/tribelawn

📅︎ Aug 29 2020

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What does a house wear?

Address

Edit: Wow! I never thought my first award would be for a dad joke. Thanks anonymous redditor.

👍︎ 10k

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👤︎ u/man_nowhere

📅︎ Jul 24 2019

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What do you sing when a witch gets married?

Ding! Dong! The witch is wed!

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/AssCumBoi

📅︎ Jan 06 2021

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What’s blue and not heavy

Light blue

👍︎ 7k

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👤︎ u/SximplyAJ

📅︎ Jun 03 2019

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Her: I think we need to break up. I’m sick of your addiction to Burger King.

Me: Fine. Have it your way.

👍︎ 189

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Feb 27 2020

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I'm starting up a festive business where I attach Christmas bells to men's neckwear..

Good Tie-dings to all men!

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/a-long_way_from_home

📅︎ Dec 11 2020

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someone insulted me on my monitor's refresh rate,

right where it hertz.

👍︎ 8k

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👤︎ u/PsychoCow1

📅︎ Jan 25 2019

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What did Elijah Wood name his shop that sells only bells?

Lord Of The Dings

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👤︎ u/kriskidd21

📅︎ Nov 17 2020

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How did Pavlov get such great hair?

He conditioned it

👍︎ 713

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👤︎ u/jingles_and_pringles

📅︎ Jul 29 2019

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Why is e scared of W?

Because White

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/Redditermination

📅︎ Apr 24 2020

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What animal has the biggest boobs?

👍︎ 1k

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👤︎ u/Rapper_Tim30

📅︎ Jun 14 2018

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Mhm

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👤︎ u/MelonSupremacy

📅︎ Jul 11 2019

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What do you call an Expensive Bell Tower?

A Bill-Ding!

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/YourAnimateJonnyV

📅︎ Sep 15 2020

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I lived in a houseboat for a while, and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

👍︎ 3k

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Aug 13 2018

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Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

....because freedom rings.

Edit: wow this is getting decent attention, Happy Brexit 1776 everyone!

Edit 2: top 50 all time on r/dadjokes and I'm not even a dad yet!

👍︎ 8k

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👤︎ u/SoDakZak

📅︎ Jul 04 2017

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My sister cross stitched this for me for Christmas.

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👤︎ u/technologik14

📅︎ Oct 16 2019

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What makes a dad joke a good dad joke?

The father he goes, the more he's kid-ding.

👍︎ 11

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👤︎ u/Dilborg

📅︎ Jul 26 2020

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My wife keeps trying to make me wear diapers

She’s got to be kid-ding me.

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👤︎ u/RosselWestbrook

📅︎ Aug 21 2020

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My daughter insists she is becoming a Southern Belle.

I told her she is my favorite ding-dong.

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👤︎ u/SpazMasterK

📅︎ Mar 26 2020

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knock knock

who's there?

The electrician to fix your doorbell

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👤︎ u/SleepyBlueCat

📅︎ May 17 2019

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I’ll let you figure this one out

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/slightleirabyss

📅︎ Jan 18 2019

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My daughter received $46 cash in a birthday card

She commented, "that's an odd amount." I told her for being a math honors student, I would think she'd recognize that 46 is an even number.

She rated my comment a 6 out of 10 on the Dad joke scale.

👍︎ 2k

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👤︎ u/JoMaicanMeCrazy

📅︎ Feb 24 2016

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I got a letter saying I had to pay an overdue exorcist bill.

They said if I didn't, my house would be repossessed.

👍︎ 4k

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👤︎ u/Onegodoneloveoneway

📅︎ Oct 12 2016

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Someone asked me if I'd heard of Pavlov's dog.

I told him it rang a bell.

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👤︎ u/vbguy77

📅︎ Aug 12 2019

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Just heard this dad call the local radio station...

This morning, a local radio station had trivia going on, in which the first correct caller would win a free dozen donuts at a local store.

Radio DJ: 20% of Americans have one of these in their home, and despite not working, have no plans of fixing them. First caller, you're up!

Dad: (without hesitation) Hello, I have the answer, I'm ready for the donuts!

Radio DJ: (laughs) What is the answer?

Dad: Teenagers!

Radio DJ: Next caller, you're up!

👍︎ 1k

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👤︎ u/Margerita94

📅︎ Dec 30 2014

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Ding dong...

*Crickets*

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/Boom223

📅︎ Jan 30 2020

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How does James Bond’s doorbell introduce itself?

Dong. Ding Dong

👍︎ 259

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👤︎ u/hungytoaster

📅︎ Dec 27 2020

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