What sort of jewelry does Ronald McDonald wear?

A fast food restaurant chain of course!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogues all over the house.

So, I've taken the hint...

I got her a magazine rack!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.

But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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Coming home from apple picking this morning, my wife saw a sign from a Jewelry store that read, "Watches 20% off."

Wife, "Wow, watches 20% off. That's not a bad deal."

Me, "Ehh, I'd rather they tell the correct time."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Platinum_Mattress
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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When I was walking down the street, I ran into a celebrity with a Mohawk and jewelry. He looked at me and said, β€œI piy the fool!”

I said, β€œHey, you missed a T.”

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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My dog ate my stash of jewelry

Diamonds are in the rough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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What’s a problem solver’s favorite kind of jewelry?

EngineEARRING

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crusselll
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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My date last night gave me some cheesy jewelry.

It was a gouda brooch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/affles001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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This jewelry and antique store
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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Sigmund Freud used to always wear a piece of jewelry on his wrist...

It was an id bracelet.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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What happened to the rapper's laptop when he left it in his jewelry room?

It was covered in so much ice, it froze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Word_art_Online
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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My girlfriend is a geologist. For our anniversary I got got her a limestone jewelry box.

It has sedimental value.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePeacefulBard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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I visited a jewelry store in Poland last year

I was amazed how polished everything was

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AsianGoldFarmer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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I robbed a jewelry store in a top hat and set fire to a house...

apparently I had committed arson lupin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/betA_cyan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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What is a judges and lawyers favorite jewelry?

Courts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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Most peeps don't think gold jewelry is hardcore

But I think it's pretty metal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gwtkof
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
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Why is getting lost in the woods the same as looking for your animal jewelry?

In both instances, you need to find your bear rings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MorganNec
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
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I can't believe there's now jewelry you can cover your cats anus with?

It's a catastrophe.

Edit: Don't ask what that question mark is doing there?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alfherin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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Why did the poor, homesick irishman go to the jewelry store?

It was his only way to visit the emerald aisle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
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A jewelry appraiser's commute

My fiancΓ©e asked the appraiser if he took the train into work and he said "no way, the train takes me. I'd have to eat a whole bunch of Wheaties before I could haul something that big."

He also had three daughters. A diamond dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colinmacus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2015
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It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.

She'll be happy to know I got the hint. I got her a magazine rack!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad

But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalArbiter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.

But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iunui
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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