Coming home from apple picking this morning, my wife saw a sign from a Jewelry store that read, "Watches 20% off."

Wife, "Wow, watches 20% off. That's not a bad deal."

Me, "Ehh, I'd rather they tell the correct time."

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📅︎ Sep 13 2020
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People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.

But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.

👍︎ 7k
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📅︎ Jun 14 2019
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This jewelry and antique store
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👤︎ u/Asmor
📅︎ Sep 03 2019
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I visited a jewelry store in Poland last year

I was amazed how polished everything was

👍︎ 18
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📅︎ Mar 23 2019
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I robbed a jewelry store in a top hat and set fire to a house...

apparently I had committed arson lupin

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👤︎ u/betA_cyan
📅︎ Feb 10 2019
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Why did the poor, homesick irishman go to the jewelry store?

It was his only way to visit the emerald aisle

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👤︎ u/Ganders81
📅︎ Apr 11 2017
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Did you know Cardi B has two sisters?

Cardi A. She went to France and opened a jewelry store.

Cardi O. She opened a fitness gym.

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📅︎ Feb 12 2019
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A gift for you, darling.

While perusing a large collection of jewelry at the store -

Clerk - "Can I help you?"

Dad - "I wan't to get my wife of 12 years something nice." Gestures towards the wide banded necklaces in the case

Clerk - "Do you want a choker?"

Dad - Pauses, smiles and says "Only when she's acting up."

👍︎ 9
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📅︎ Aug 25 2016
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My co-worker dadjokes me every day. Here's a few of his finer ones.

I started working at a jewelry store two weeks ago. I just turned 24, and one of my new co-workers is about 50 years old and repairs jewelry that customers bring. He is a master of dad jokes.

  1. One day, I was windexing our glass displays.

Him: I recently started getting the urge to take my clothes off and run around all over the place. My buddy told me to try drinking Windex. It prevents streaking.

  1. Another time, it was almost closing time and we were getting bored.

Him: A man was walking his Great Dane and saw a pub. He said, "I'll go have me a drink or two," and tied the dog up outside.

A little while later another man comes in the pub and says, "Sir, is that your Great Dane out there? My dog just killed it."

"What kind of dog do you have?!"

"Chihuahua."

"You're telling me a chihuahua killed my dog?"

"Yea, he got stuck about right here." grabbing his throat

  1. Lastly, we were bored yet again at the end of another day, and he came up to me and another worker and says, "Did one of you lose a big wad of twenty dollar bills wrapped in a rubber band?"

We looked at one another confused. "... No."

"Oh, because I had some good news... I found the rubber band." holding up a runner band

I like my new job.

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👤︎ u/amdawson
📅︎ Aug 18 2014
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People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad

But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.

👍︎ 50
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.

But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/iunui
📅︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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