Wife, "Wow, watches 20% off. That's not a bad deal."
Me, "Ehh, I'd rather they tell the correct time."
But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.
I was amazed how polished everything was
apparently I had committed arson lupin
It was his only way to visit the emerald aisle
Cardi A. She went to France and opened a jewelry store.
Cardi O. She opened a fitness gym.
While perusing a large collection of jewelry at the store -
Clerk - "Can I help you?"
Dad - "I wan't to get my wife of 12 years something nice." Gestures towards the wide banded necklaces in the case
Clerk - "Do you want a choker?"
Dad - Pauses, smiles and says "Only when she's acting up."
I started working at a jewelry store two weeks ago. I just turned 24, and one of my new co-workers is about 50 years old and repairs jewelry that customers bring. He is a master of dad jokes.
- One day, I was windexing our glass displays.
Him: I recently started getting the urge to take my clothes off and run around all over the place. My buddy told me to try drinking Windex. It prevents streaking.
- Another time, it was almost closing time and we were getting bored.
Him: A man was walking his Great Dane and saw a pub. He said, "I'll go have me a drink or two," and tied the dog up outside.
A little while later another man comes in the pub and says, "Sir, is that your Great Dane out there? My dog just killed it."
"What kind of dog do you have?!"
"Chihuahua."
"You're telling me a chihuahua killed my dog?"
"Yea, he got stuck about right here." grabbing his throat
- Lastly, we were bored yet again at the end of another day, and he came up to me and another worker and says, "Did one of you lose a big wad of twenty dollar bills wrapped in a rubber band?"
We looked at one another confused. "... No."
"Oh, because I had some good news... I found the rubber band." holding up a runner band
I like my new job.
But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.
