Telephone Puns

A list of puns related to "Telephone"

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

👍︎ 129
💬︎
👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be a telephone pole...

I bet it would be electrifying

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/Sativa588
📅︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the squirrel cross the telephone line?

Because it was busy.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/Brodacious-G
📅︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My friends and I tried to bypass the quarantine laws by dressing up as crows and hanging out together on top of a telephone wire

Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.

👍︎ 73
💬︎
👤︎ u/hpbojoe
📅︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I invented a telephone that doesn't ring.

I got the No-bell prize for it.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/LurkyTheHatMan
📅︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the telephone maker propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring!!

👍︎ 28
💬︎
👤︎ u/yashrajt
📅︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the programmer get a huge telephone bill?

Because his program was CALLING a lot of subroutines.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/madjholu
📅︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a Tesla crashes and wraps itself around a telephone pole?

A Tesla Coil

👍︎ 10
💬︎
👤︎ u/FrankDaTank787
📅︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What was a more important invention than the first telephone?

The second one.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw people putting notes at the bottom of a telephone pole. I asked them what they were doing and one person said:

"We are putting comments under this post"

👍︎ 20
💬︎
👤︎ u/brandschain
📅︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the boy telephone and the girl telephone break up?

There was just no connection...

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/JaymantheLegend
📅︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do birds hang out on telephone lines?

So they can tweet.

(I hit my family with this one today. Its probably been done before but it was so satisfying hearing everyone groan.)

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/SuperAwesomeNinjaGuy
📅︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
The telephone book listing read Suicidal Hotline, which I thought was a typo, so I called it.

The line was dead.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife wants to have sex over the telephone.

The bed might be easier though.

👍︎ 29
💬︎
👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Too bad what happened to the new telephone line repairman...

Poor guy got suspended on his first day.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/Tribunal_Power
📅︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Apple’s Genius Bar is just a game of broken telephone.
👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/VaiterZen
📅︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?

With toucans and a piece of string.

👍︎ 14
💬︎
👤︎ u/-rabid-
📅︎ Mar 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know how one used to call the telephone's inventor?

It rings a Bell.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/ContentDoctor
📅︎ Apr 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Just had a telephone call from a researcher asking for my opinion on wind turbines.

"Big fan", I replied.

👍︎ 51
💬︎
👤︎ u/Gazcobain
📅︎ Apr 08 2016
🚨︎ report
What do u call a golden retriever and telephone

A golden receiver

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/ShadowDaGamer
📅︎ Oct 16 2017
🚨︎ report
My nephew was playing with a corded telephone and walked so far the cord was stretched out. Enter my brother-in-law

"What are you doing? Making a long distance call?"

He was so proud of the joke he called me in as the only other person who would appreciate it.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/JohnFoxpoint
📅︎ Oct 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that they are not making telephone poles any longer?

Yep, and they are not makeing them any shorter either.

👍︎ 10
💬︎
👤︎ u/mitchrut
📅︎ Feb 10 2015
🚨︎ report
What to say when you hear a cellphone with a classic old telephone bell ringtone ...

... "That's the phone-iest ringtone I've ever heard!"

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/jlking3
📅︎ Nov 27 2013
🚨︎ report
What was a more important invention than the first telephone?

The second one.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What was more important than the invention of the telephone?

The second one.

👍︎ 15
💬︎
👤︎ u/pandaflesh
📅︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What invention was needed more than the first telephone?

The second one!

👍︎ 14
💬︎
👤︎ u/Datboifritz113
📅︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.